The Letter N

as performed by Nick Normal and the Nickmatics

(Scene opens in a studio, gold records on the wall and a big screen with the logo NTV (replace the M in MTV with an N, same one). Next to the screen stands a small female muppet, sunglasses on, two different earrings in her ears.)

Spoken:
Hey, and how ya doing? I'm Nora Nicks, your host on NTV, the first channel that is all letter N, all the time, N. Our next video is truly on the cutting edge of what's happening in the world of letter N. This group, whose name of course starts with the letter N, is called Nickmatics, with lead singer, Nick Normal. What do I think of it? (laughs) I think it's nice. But see for yourself, have a look at Nick Normal and the Nickmatics doing their latest hit called, "The Letter N".

(Camera closes in on the NTV screen, changes to a video)

Sung:
It was Friday afternoon
I was talking to my friend
I said "What's up for tonight, my man?
What'll be happenin'?
What's the plan?"
He said, "Nothing I know of
Nothing I guess
Sorry, just nothing
No more or no less."

Nnnnnnothing!
That starts with an N
Nnnnnnothing
There it is again
Nnnnnnothing
Again and again
The letter N

Then I boogied down to Nino's
For my favorite pizza pie
But when I got there
It was not the same
Everything was different
Even the name
I said "Where's the pizza?
Where's the root beer?"
They said "We never, never, never
Make a pizza pie here!"

Nnnnnnever!
That starts with an N
Nnnnnnever
There it is again
Nnnnnnever
Again and again
The letter N

Well I made it back home
And my father was there
I said "Dad, I know how kind you are
So tell me, tonight can I use the car?"
He said "It's only twelve years that you've been alive!
No, kid, no, you're not old enough to drive!"

Nnnnnno!
That starts with an N
Nnnnnno
There it is again
Nnnnnno
Again and again
The letter...
Nothing!
Never!
No!
N!

Transcribed by the archive's webmistress Tiny Dancer