There's Nothing We Women Can't Be
sung by a group of female Muppets
NOTE: Not sure of the writer, could be Joe Raposo.
And not sure of the voice credits for the female Muppets in this song.
It's a safe bet Louise Gold, Fran Brill, Camille Bonora, and Ivy Austin are included.
Corrections are always welcome.
Also, we can only identify two of the Muppets by name, thanks to the song lyrics.
The others are listed by their face color.
{As oompah waltz music begins from the band, eight female Muppets appear on screen and chatter indistinctly.
The chattering fades out as the vamp indicates when to come in.}
All: Women can fly way up high on trapezes
Pink (could be Fran Brill): Women can be rollerskaters
All: Women can help to find cures for diseases
Light green: Women can hunt alligators
All: Pilots and poets, policewomen too
Look at the things that we women can do
Pink: We can be clowns
Natural green (may be Camille Bonora): We can be cooks
Dark orangey: We can be bus drivers
Teresa: We can write books
All: Just look around you, it's easy to see
There's nothing we women can't be
Blue (spoken): Sing it like it is, Teresa.
Teresa: I used to be good with a needle and thread
I'd sew dainty dresses of blue
Then I got an urgin' to be a great surgeon
And now I sew people up, too!
Everybody else: Then she got an urgin' to be a great surgeon
And now she sews people up, too!
Green (spoken): Margaret, tell 'em about the cat.
Margaret: Once I had a cat that I'd try to teach tricks
A quiet and sweet little thing
(small cat is heard meowing in the background)
But the tricks I was tryin' required a lion ...
(lion is heard roaring in the background)
Everyone else (exclaims): A lion ...!
Margaret (sung): ... and that's why I'm here in this ring!
Everyone else: The tricks she was tryin' required a lion
And that's why she's here in this ring!
{The band modulates higher and slows down in tempo as the white-faced Muppet
makes her big entrance into her big Broadway-style solo.
Under all this, the others do some soft oohing and aahing.}
White: Ohhhhh ...
I used to go bicycling far from my home
My mother would say "come back soon" (come back soon)
I travelled so fast off the earth in a blast-off ... {SFX: slide whistle up}
... now I'm on my way to the moon!
Everyone else: She travelled so fast off the earth in a blast-off ...
5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
{With a loud kaboom, she takes off like a roman candle.}
Everyone else: Now she's on her way to the moon!
(To the moon ...!)
Women can ride up inside of a rocket
Light green: Women can be office clerkers
Everyone else: Women can sew things like pillows and pockets
Pink: Women can be soda jerkers
All: Pilots and poets, policewomen too
Look at the things that we women can do ...
{During that last part, the pink-faced Muppet rushes offscreen to get her hat.}
Pink {now in a three-cornered hat}: We can be clowns
Natural green {now with a chef's cap}: We can be cooks
Dark orangey {now in a bus driver's cap}: We can be bus drivers
Teresa: We can write books
Blue {in a fishing cap}: We can catch fish
Margaret {same lion tamer costume as before}: We can train dogs
White: We can climb mountains
Light green {now in a nature-like beanie}: And we can chop logs!
All: Just look around you, it's easy to see ...
There's nothing we women can't be!!
Transcribed by Josh