Simple Simon And The Animals

a surreal cartoon

(A man walks on a road by a country fair. When he reaches the 5 mile marking stone, he is joined by a snake with wings and booted feet, a sheep with duck's feet, and a duck with booted feet and no wings.)

Sheep: Baa-aa-aah

Duck: Quack-quack

Narrator: Simple Simon met some animals, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the animals -

Simple Simon: Something is wrong, somewhere.

Duck: (jumping up, trying to fly) Quack-quack-QUACK, quack-quack, quack-quack, quack-QUACK. (angrily) Something IS wrong. I can't fly.

Sheep: Baaaah! Something is wrong. (spinning around) I walk funny.

Snake: Sss, sss, sss, Sss-something IS wrong. (flies into the air) But this is great! Whoopee! Yahoo! (laughs as he swoops down over the other three, and all get down onto the ground. All get up again, as snake lands gracefully.)

Duck: Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack! You've got my wings!

(Snake bows, and the wings fly from his back to the duck's)

Duck: Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack.

Sheep: Pardon me, bu-u-ut I think you have my legs.

(Snake jumps off the legs, and they walk back to rejoin the sheep.)

Snake: (having slithered into the background, sadly) It was too good to last.

Sheep: Baah. Something is still wrong.

Duck: Quack-quack-quack-quack. We've got the wrong legs!

(they exchange legs, and then smile at each other)

Simple Simon: (scratching his head, then he realizes - ) Ah-HAH! Now I know what's wrong! (pointing) Sheep don't wear boots!

(All look at the Sheep, and the Sheep, hanging his head in shame, walks out of the boots and away, revealing that he actually has pink human feet with toes - but all is solved!)

Transcribed by Jen Finlayson