Don’t Tip The Boat!

skit starring Grover (Frank Oz) and assorted monsters

NOTE: This was shown in three parts. They cut away to another skit/song in the episode between the parts.

Part One

[Scene: A dock, where assorted monsters are gathered. In the water is a rowboat, which Grover is in.
In the background is a lighthouse. A foghorn is heard in the distance.]

Grover: Ship ahoy, anchors aweigh! Grover’s ready to go for a cruise in his rowboat.
[Turns to the other monsters.] You guys ready?

[Loud agreement from other monsters.]

Grover: Okay, good. Now, the thing to remember when you are in a rowboat is that some of you have to sit at that at end [points to his right], and some of you have to sit at that end [points to his left]. Okay?

[The other monsters start piling into the boat.]

Grover: Okay, guys.

[He notices that all are of them are sitting on his right, and that the boat is starting to tip.]

Grover [pointing to his left]: Guys, over here! Somebody over here!

[The monsters stay right where they are. The end of the boat they’re in sinks lower and lower.]

Grover: I think we’re going to have a little problem.

[The boat disappears below the water.]


Part Two

[The same scene: All the monsters are back on the dock except Grover, who is still in the rowboat.]

Grover [examining the boat]: Okay, I think it is all repaired.
[Turns to the other monsters.] You guys ready to try again?

[Loud agreement from other monsters.]

Grover: Okay, good. Now, this time, remember, do not all go up to that end of the boat. [Points to his right.] Because if you all go up to that end, up to the tip, we will fall into the water, like we did before. And we do not want that to happen, do we?

[The other monsters start getting into the boat.
This time, they don’t all sit on Grover’s right ... they all sit on his left!]

Grover: Okay, guys.

[He sees everyone sitting on his left, and that the boat is starting to tip again.]

Grover [pointing to his right]: Guys, over here! Somebody over here!

[Still nobody moves, and the end of the boat keeps sinking lower and lower.
Grover gives a loud, deep sigh as they all disappear below the water.]


Part Three

[The same scene: Once again, Grover is in the rowboat, and the others are back on the dock.]

Grover: Okay, you guys all dried off?

[Assorted yeses from other monsters.]

Grover: Okay, good. The boat seems okay. We still seem to be having a little trouble understanding where to sit in a rowboat. Now, if all of you sit at that end [points to his right] or if all of you sit at that end of the rowboat [points to his left], then the boat will sink. So some of you have to sit at that end [points to his right], and some of you have to sit at that end [points to his left], and I’ll be in the middle. Okay, ready?

[Once again, the other monsters begin to climb aboard. And this time, some sit at either end.]

Grover: Okay, now. Careful, careful....Hey, that’s pretty good! You are over there [looks to his left], and you are over there [looks to his right], and I am in the middle. Let’s start rowing!

Another Monster: All right.

All [singing as they pull away from the dock]:
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream

Transcribed by SilveryShoe@aol.com