Ernie Eats Cookies In Bed

a skit starring Ernie (Jim Henson) and Bert (Frank Oz)

(Ernie and Bert are in their beds. Bert is asleep and Ernie is snacking on cookies from a plate on his lap.)

Bert (rolls over and sits up in bed): Ernie?

Ernie: Yes, Bert?

Bert: Oh, Ernie, what are you doing with those cookies in bed, huh?

Ernie: Oh, the cookies? Well, I was just hungry, Bert, so I thought I'd have a few cookies before I went to sleep.

Bert: Ernie, Ernie, don't eat those cookies while you're in your bed, huh?

Ernie: Why not, Bert?

Bert: Because you'll get crumbs in the sheets, that's why.

Ernie: Gee, Bert, I'll get crumbs in the sheets? (He lifts the blanket to look for crumbs in the sheets.)

Bert: Yeah, Ernie, and if there are crumbs in the sheets, they'll get in your pajamas.

Ernie: Oooo, crumbs in my pajamas, Bert?

Bert: Yeah, yeah, Ernie, and if you get crumbs in your pajamas, they'll make you itch. You know that.

Ernie: Oh, I don't like to itch, Bert.

Bert: No, and if you itch, you won't be able to sleep, Ernie. So don't do it, okay? Good night. (Goes back to sleep.)

Ernie: Oh, gee, if I eat the cookies in bed, I'll get crumbs in my sheets. (A crumb falls into his sheets.) And if I get crumbs in the sheets, I'll get crumbs in my pajamas. (Feels a crumb in his pajamas.) And if I get crumbs in my pajamas, I'll itch! (Scratches himself.) And I won't be able to sleep! (Gets up, carrying the plate of cookies.) Oh, Bert, thank you so much for stopping me from eating cookies in my bed!

Bert: Alright, Ernie. Just ... just go to bed, though, okay?

Ernie: Okay. And I'm never going to eat cookies in my bed again!

Bert: Okay, good. (Ernie starts getting into Bert's bed with the cookies) Ernie? What are you doing?

Ernie: I'm gonna eat cookies in your bed, Bert. Move over. (Begins eating them as Bert sighs loudly.)

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