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Measuring

sung by Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline
to the tune of the classic "How About You" ("I like New York in June, How about you..")
side by side on a piano, while the Count demonstrates
with a ruler and various subjects, including his brother and mother

(spoken)

Kevin: Hi, I'm Kevin.

Pheobe: And I'm Phoebe.

Count: I'm Count von Count.

Kevin: Here's a little song for you guys and gals out there who can't quite figure out what the wacky world of measuring is all about.

Phoebe: And it goes something like this ...

Count: It goes exactly like this!

(sung)

Phoebe: How deep is your bathtub?

Count: 2 feet

How high is your shelf?

3 feet

Kevin: How tall is that penguin?

24 inches
You can find out yourself

Phoebe and Kevin: Just get out your ruler
And you will see

Kevin: How fun and useful measuring can be

Phoebe: How tall is your brother?

2 feet, 1 inch

How big is that tree?

5 feet

Kevin: How wide is your mother?

One and a half feet
Don't come running to me

Phoebe and Kevin: Once you've tried a ruler
I'm sure you'll agree

Kevin: How fun and useful measuring can be

Phoebe and Kevin: Inches, yards and feet
They really can't be beat

Count: For measuring they bring home all the prizes

Kevin: You will find them on your ruler

Count: And there's really nothing cooler

All: When you want to figure out what something's size is

Phoebe and Kevin: How long is that noodle?

8 inches

How tall is that drink?

5 inches

Phoebe: How big is your poodle?

2 feet, 5 inches

Kevin: How deep is your sink?

1 foot

Phoebe and Kevin: Once you've tried a ruler
I'm sure you'll agree

Phoebe: How truly useful measuring

Phoebe and Kevin: How truly useful measuring

All: How truly useful measuing can be

Transcribed by Mark