Helen to Lindsay: "If you're in love with the guy, be a woman about it and claw my eyes out. I'd do it to you."

Lucy to everyone: "It's a small head and you can all bite it off, but there's just not enough to go around."

Judge Zoey Hiller to Bobby: "If I had to recuse you every time you've slept with the opposing counsel....."

Client accused of plotting his wife's death: "I guess you can't ask someone to trust you after you've planned their death."

Ellenor to Bobby about Lindsay: "Is this what happens when you insert your penis??"

Client to Bobby: "Not that it's any of my business, but you've got a big morale problem here."

Bobby: "Lucy, there's sexy and then there's...."
Ellenor: "Slut?"

Rebecca: "First Eugene pulls a kojack on me...."
Jimmy:"Lujack."

Joey Heric: "Helen, can I call you Helen?"
Helen: "No."
Joey Heric: "Okay, Dorothy."

Bobby to Joey Heric: "Two lovers and they're both dead!"
Joey: "You're lucky I'm not a flirt."

Ellenor: "Heads we take the plea, tails we go for it. (flips coin) Tails. We go for it."
Lindsay: "This is why we get paid. To
make these decisions."

Ellenor to Bobby: "You gotta admit, we're pretty good at what we do."

Jimmy: "I don't wanna be partner here. Too much politics."

Bobby to Eugene: "Maybe we're bred to fight a little dirty."

Ellenor: "Can't let an innocent man go to to jail."
Rebecca: "We don't even let our guilty ones go there."

Rebecca and Lindsay are reading the computer screen and say to Jimmy:
Rebecca: "Isn't she a bit...um... what's the word?"
Lindsay: "Old?"
Rebecca: "Yeah, old. Isn't she a OLD for you, Jimmy?"

Eugene to a judge: "I did my job in there. You betrayed yours."

Lindsay: "Bite me."

Helen: "Everybody needs a day off!"

Jimmy: "It's normal size!"

Rebecca to Bobby: "I was talking about the Robin case. You kiss Helen Gamble, Lindsay, there was that whiny thing in the skirt....and now Lucy. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??"

Lucy: (to Helen after she sees Bobby and Lindsay kissing) "They're really exchanging
fluid with that one!"

Helen: (to George Vogelman at the Christmas party: Once you've seen a man holding a severed head, it's hard to look at him again sexually."

Lindsay: "Your style is kind of, you know, Queen Bitch Killer Bee. Doesn't harsh go with that?"
Helen: "Why yes Lindsay, harsh would go with that...."

Ellenor: "This is a no brainer, what's stopping you?"
Lindsay: "Some of us have brains."

Ellenor: "This is a brand new conference table...
please don't make me puke on it."

Lindsay: "What am I, a pineapple??"

Lindsay: "Are you asking me if it's strange that you don't address your feelings?"
Bobby: "Was I just insulted?"

Helen to Lindsay: "That's how you can repay me, lend me Bobby for the night."

Lindsay: "Hail, Hail freedom of the press. I think it's time to send a message to all the cockroaches."

Lucy: "I won't tell...but if I were to....what would I say you were doing?"

Lindsay to Ellenor: "Why the sudden interest in math?"
Ellenor: "Certain equations fascinate me."
Lindsay: "Well try adding two plus two, you couldn't do that with your asbestos clients..."

Eugene: "The rot is already in the wood."
Lindsay: "So you might as well take your cut."
Ellenor: "You pissy little bitch."

Eugene: "You know, Lindsay, I've been trying to defend you, but it's getting harder and harder."
Lindsay: "Defend me against what? Her? (Ellenor) Help someone who needs it."

Lindsay: "If you were in my position...."
Helen: "I would NEVER be in your position!"
Lindsay: "Hey!"
Helen: "Go to hell."
Lindsay: "You go to hell."

Ellenor to George Vogelman: "You don't shout at me....ever."

Judge to Ellenor: "Your motion is denied. I am losing my patience!"
Ellenor: "To hell with patience, you've lost your MIND, and that hasn't slowed you down!"

Susan Robin's father: "You're getting paid to think that." (that George is innocent)
Eugene: "I get paid to represent him. What I think isn't up for sale."

Ellenor to a wacko judge: "Given the risk of saying this, I brought my toothbrush: Those jurors just brought some integrity back into this courtroom. As an officer of the court, I suggest you let a little of it rub off."

Bobby: "Once in a while you get an innocent, and that's why we do this."

Ellenor to Lindsay: "If you tell anyone I cried, I break your head."

Joey Heric, referring to himself: "Also, we can't rule out insanity. Goodness, I go around killing people!"

Eugene to Bobby: "Did your bookie die?"
Bobby: "Coleman got triple life without parole, the DA won't budge on Rachel Reynolds, Dan Moriarty skipped bail which I put up personally....and I could use 'cause the landlord's threatening to evict us again...and it's two-thirty."

Bobby: "What kind of fairness is this? You're putting the system before a person's life."
Judge Hiller: "Damn right I am. That's why I wear the robe."

Bobby: "You think it's tough defending the guilty, Lindsay? Try the innocent.....It's terrifying!"

Joey Heric: "All I want to say is...please don't judge me."

Ellenor to a witness: "Has the prosecution paid you for your testimony today?"
Witness: "I have been paid a small stipend for my expenses."
Ellenor: "Would that be more or less than they paid the judge?"

Joey Heric's propsed opening statement (accompanied by piano): "There's a dead guy! Everybody thinks I killed him! There's a a dead guy! In life he was a pest! Took a knife right in the chest! Everybody thinks it was me, but it wasn't can't you see? He's a dead guy! He's a dead guy!"
Judge Seymour Walsh: "There will be NO piano."

Joey Heric: "I'm sorry. I suppose in all of my preparation and nervousness, I'm embarassed to say I've left something out."
Judge Seymour Walsh: "What's that?"
Joey: "I have to pee."

Lindsay: "Anyone can kill, Helen. It's just the circumstances that vary."
Helen: "Now there's a proverb."

From "Trees in the Forest".....

Lindsay to Bobby: "I was afraid I might say that you were disfunctional. Look at you, fancy suits and a rat infested office.... You try to get ahead but you fight yourself at the same time. I was afraid I might say that."

********

Lindsay: (to Bobby in one of their homes) "You're not senior partner here."
Bobby: "Well, then, let's put our clothes back on, drive over to the office and have the conversation there."

Ellenor: "Oh, get over your professor Lindsay. What did you do? Sleep with the guy? (Lindsay retaliates by throwing a book at Ellenor)

From an episode of Ally McBeal in which Lara Flynn Boyle made a cameo appearance:
(Helen walks into an elevator as Ally walks out)
Helen: "Maybe you should eat a cookie."
Ally: "Maybe we should share it."

From the Ally/Practice crossover:

Ally: "You think we're all from Mars here."
Bobby: "I never said which planet."

Elaine to Bobby: "I had a dream last night that you and I had unprotected sex."

Eugene: (referring to the lawyers at Cage and Fish) "These people are nuts, we go in there arguing insanity and these people are the inmates."

Elanie: (speaking of Bobby) "I'd like to take my thighs and squeeze his head."

Helen: "I've been looking for a skirt that short but I haven't been able to find one."
Ally: "Oh, well, they're really not in yet but they'll be coming back."
Helen: "Really? How can you be sure?"
Ally: "I'm wearing one."
Helen to Lindsay: "We don't like her."

Bobby: "I have some baggage. The DA I mentioned. The woman at my firm. If I went out with you right now I would screw it up."
Ally: "So for the sake of our relationship, let's not have one."
Bobby: "I just need some time."
Ally: "To deal with your old bags?.....baggage."

Richard Fish:(After meeting with Donnell, Young, Dole and Frutt) "Friendly group. They probably take homicides just to lighten up."

From "A Day In The Life"....

Lindsay: "Helen, you like twisted guys."
Helen: "Is that really true?"
Lindsay: "Well..."
Helen: "Think I should see somebody about it?"
Lindsay: "You might."
Helen: "Know any dark, demented, twisted shrinks?"

Lucy to Ellenor (they're arguing): "My mother told me 2 things before she died. One was never let somebody push you around just because they're bigger or richer."
Ellenor: What was the other thing she told you?"
Lucy: "If you're ever in an argument, you can always trump with a dead mother."

Lucy (on the phone): "Donnell, Young, Dole & Slut... Frutt!"

Lucy: "Look, the truth is Ellenor, I don't find you fat at all. I just think you're more full of yourself than others."

Helen: "What is it with you people and doctors?"
Ellenor: "Don't start."
Helen: "Ellenor, your podiatrist hacked off heads, Jimmy's dentist likes bugs and now you've got one that bites."

From "Marooned"....

Lindsay to Bobby: "You have made every decision without consulting me and now you're telling me that I have to wear your dead mother's doily? Well I'm not. I'm wearing the dress that I picked out. If I have to eat communion, you can swallow this."

From "Boston Confidential"....

Lindsay to Bobby: "I don't know what's worse; the fact that we just set another murderer free or the fact that it doesnt even bother us anymore."

From the 3rd Season Finale....

Bobby to Lucy: "Have you been talking to her?" (Lindsay, unconscious)
Lucy: "I was afraid to since everyone says I'm annoying."

Joey Heric: "Kisses to Bobby. And
Ellenor.....why doesn't she ever work late?"

Helen to an un-named attorney: "Oh, go kill yourself."

Priest to Helen: "With Catholics like you, who needs Protestants?"

Bobby to Lindsay: "Marry me."
Helen: "What???"
Bobby: "Do ya mind??"

Lindsay to Bobby: (as he hugs Helen) "Bobby, that's not how it works."

Priest: "You really love her, don't you?(referring to Lindsay) Bobby: Why would I ever tell you? You'd just pass it on to God and he'd kill her."
Priest: "You really believe that, that God kills the people you love. That's your theory?"
Bobby: "That's my history."

(Bobby gives Lindsay an engagement ring) Helen: It's so big!
Lindsay: Helen!
Bobby: Quiet!
Helen: Sorry!

From the episode, "Bay of Pigs" #409.....

Richard Bay (to DYD&F): "What, people don't greet people here when they come through the door?"
Ellenor: "Whadda you want? How's that?"

Richard Bay: "I'm expecting you to have the decency to accomodate-"
Ellenor: "We're not that decent."

Richard Bay to DYD&F: "How stupid of me to expect you people to be decent or humane. You think you're heroes, playing a part in the criminal justice system, the crusaders against oppression; well, you mighta' started out that way, but look at you now! The day to day stench of your clients has rubbed off! You're every bit as vile and contaminated as the murderers and rapists you defend! You bring no dignity to law! You proffer disgrace! Where you might once have been noble, you've...you've sunk into a sinkhole of disrepute, where your only idealism is 'get the guy off', even when it offends human nature or it inslts morality! You're so lost in the inferno of crime and dishonor, you've become sickening animals, repugnant to everything that's good about this country, everything this country celebrates in the spirit of humanity! You are sick, awful vehicles of hate! If there is a God, he will get you, you sleezy cancerous infected, malignant, grotesque snakes!"

Richard Bay: "The man is on his death bed, Helen. They can't agree to take his testimony in a hospital? They're disgusting, disreputable, dirty roaches."
Helen: "Richard-"
Richard: "And they get to me."

Helen: "Who's the judge?"
Richard Bay: "Kittleson; I hate her too."
Helen: "And why is that?"
Richard: "Because... Raymond Oz called me a midgit at sidebar. She could've held him in contempt."
Helen: "He was the defendant! She-"
Richard: "Then she half-called me a midgit, too."
Helen: "Kittleson?"
Richard: "It was a slip. She said 'midg', then caught herself. I hate her too."
***************

Lucy (after being bitten by her dentist): "I would say bite me but youve already done that."

From "Settling".....

Lindsay: "I thought I lost you." Bobby: "The whole time I was in there all I could see was your face........now all I can see is his."

From "Checkmates".....

Richard Bay: (to Helen) "There are heroes in this world. They're called district attorneys. They don't get to have clients, people who smile at them at the end of the trial, who look them in the eye and say, 'Thank you.' Nobody's there to appreciate the district attorney because we work for the state, and our gratitude comes only from knowing there's a tide out there --- a tide the size of a tsunami coming out of a bottomless cesspool, a tide called crime, which, if left unchecked, will rob every American of his freedom, a tide which strips individuals of the privilege of being able to walk down a dark street or take $20 out of an ATM machine without fear of being mugged. All Congress does is talk, but it's the district attorney who grabs his sword, who digs into the trenches and fights the fight, who dogs justice day after day after day without thanks, without so much as a simple pat on the back, but we do it. We do it. We do it because we are the crusaders, the last frontier of American justice, knowing that if a man cannot feel safe, he can never, never feel free."
*********

From "New Evidence"....

Lucy: There's always a nun!!
Ellenor: Quiet!

From "Life Sentence"....

Lucy: (after seeing Bobby and Lindsay getting married) I guess that means he's off the market now.
************

Lindsay:(arguing with Bobby while Lucy watches) Don't "here we go" me, if you "here we go" me one more time I am going to scream, do you hear me?
Bobby: Listen to yourself!
Lindsay: Eeww, and I hate that one too. "Here we go" and "Listen to yourself" If you ever say those things in our marriage, I will scream. You know it's good to know these things before we become husband and wife. You know, this is very very healthy!!! (Lindsay storms out, pushing Lucy aside and saying to her, "Bug Off!!")
Lucy:(to Bobby) Well at least you know you can make her scream.

Bobby to Lindsay: I've only had two dreams in life....One was to pitch for the Red Sox, the other was to meet and marry the greatest woman in the whole world....One for two isn't bad......Now if I could just get you to take some medication for your mood swings (smiling).

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