The World's Gone Stupid
Chris Ward's Monologue
5/31/1999, period 6

	I have noticed lately that a horrible illness has swept our great and greedy
 nation.  It is one that we see every day, and no one does anything about it.  
Many of us have caught it ourselves.  What is this plague might you ask, well, the 
whole freaking nation has gone stupid.  Some just plain old stupid, some stupider, 
and some are proud to call themselves the stupidest people alive.  This nation is 
going to the dogs.  Just think, half of the people in this country were stupid in 
1991, just 8 years ago!  It is now predicted that by the year 2005, 4/5 of the 
people in this nation will be stupid!  That's 80%.  Don't believe me, well let me 
tell you what's really going on in this world.
	One time when I was driving down Independence Boulevard, I saw a beggar.  
Now I'm usually sympathetic to these guys, but this one was not only stupid, but 
also pathetic.  He was holding up a sign that read something to the effect of "I 
have no money, my house was destroyed in a storm, and I have a wife and two kids.  
God bless you all".  First off, is anyone going to stop, much less trust a shabby 
looking man on the side of a highway?  Also if this man has absolutely no money, do 
you think he spent his life savings getting this sign laminated?
	Case #2, body piercing.  It used to be a sin to stick a hole in yourself 
just so you could put a fancy looking piece of metal in you ear.  Nowadays though, 
people stick wholes in their toungs, in the eyebrows, and even in their nipples.  
Now tell me, does nipple piercing make any sense?  Most people get themselves a 
piercing just to show it off.  Now tell me girls, if you get your nipple pierced, 
who are you going to show that off to, maybe one or two people.  I'm use that was 
money well spent.  And I can't wait for the day when someone comes up to me and 
says stupidly "Hey dude, I got my toe pierced!", just so I can laugh at him and 
stomp on his foot.  I would relish in watching his eyes go wide as he cried for 
mommy.
	Case #3, driving.  Drivers are getting stupider everyday.  The government 
made a feeble attempt to stop stupid young drivers by increasing the age to get 
your driver's license.  Now instead of having stupid 16-year-olds driving cars, 
now, we will have stupid 18 year olds driving cars, now isn't that just stupid?  
And how about good old soccer mom driving her Suburban.  She's trying to get the 
kids in the back to stop fighting.  It doesn't end there though.  Also, she is 
drinking her coffee, talking on the phone, and reading that mornings newspaper.  
Then, she plows over another car head on.  What is her excuse? "Oh, I saw this cute 
little squirrel in the middle of the road, and I just could bring myself to hit it, 
tee hee tee hee".  Stupid Stupid Stupid!
	But it doesn't end there folks, no way at all.  I have millions of other 
cases, but I have so little time that I'll go over them briefly.  How about the 
serial killer that was found innocent due to temporary insanity, stupid.  Or how 
about people shouting at each other just to get each other to calm down, stupid.  
How about Jesse Camp from MTV, stupid (by the way, MTV has been clinically proven 
to be stupid as well).  Tele-marketers who call at every waking hour, stupid.  Also 
is the idea that the American President supposedly being the model citizen, but I 
think we all get the idea there.  And the biggest, ugliest, stupidest thing of all 
is the national news.  All they have is a bunch of stupid people hearing rumors 
from a bunch of stupid sources just to tell people who they think are stupid (and 
they are generally right) about these rumors 50 times a day!
	Soon, someone will take over the world in the name of America.  I will be 
dead that day, but I feel for all of the people who will be living.  That will be 
the day when the entire world is stupid, and that my friends, is a crying shame.