Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer:  I can do that.  I'm not very technical, but I think I am
ready to install now.  What do I do first?

CS Rep:  The first step is to open your HEART.  Have you located
your HEART ma'am?

Customer:  Yes I have, but there are several programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep:  What programs are running ma'am?

Customer:  Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep:  No problem.  LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE
from your current operating system.  It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.  LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called
HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE
and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
 installed. Can you turn  those off ma'am?

Customer:  I don't know how to turn them off.  Can you tell me how?

CS Rep:  My pleasure.  Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer:  Okay, I'm done.  LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep:  Yes it is.  You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART.  Do you see that message?

Customer:  Yes I do.  Is it completely installed?

CS Rep:  Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the
upgrades.

Customer:  Oops...I have an error message already.  What should I
do?

CS Rep:  What does the message say?

Customer:  It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
COMPONENTS."    What does that mean?

CS Rep:  Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.  It means that
 the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not
yet been run on your HEART.  It is one of those complicated programming
things, but In non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your
own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer:  So what should I do?

CS Rep:  Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

 Customer:  Yes, I have it.

CS Rep:  Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer:  Thank you.

CS Rep:  You're welcome.  Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC.  The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming.  Also,
you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then
empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer:  Got it.  Hey!  My HEART is filling up with really neat
files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying
 themselves all over my HEART!

CS Rep:  Then LOVE is installed and running.  You should be able to
handle it from here.  One more thing before I go...
 

Customer:  Yes?

CS Rep:  LOVE is freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various
 modules to everybody you meet.  They will in turn share it with
other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer:  I will.  Thank you for your help.