Punk Rock Will Never Die

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A Satire By: Ben Coffey

Okay, first before I begin this I have to give some information behind the
subject I am trying to satirize. Punk rock has been a big influence on my
life for the last three or four years, and overall I still love it.
Unfortunately, one aspect of the whole music style disappoints me, if not
hinders me from "truly" enjoying the music. Fashion in punk rock has been
the same since itÕs semi-creation in the late 70Õs, and in order to achieve
the "punk status" you have to dress like the early punks of this time
period. In what the music once shouted out as an anti-trend soon became one
itself. This is the satire. (I wrote this because you may or may not be
familiar with the music and itÕs style.)

Welcome to the 1998 World Punk Fashion Show and Exposition!! Over the course
of the day you will see all of the trends and threads in punk rock from the
past, present and a look at the future styles! IÕm your punk rocker host for
today, Johnny Nice Punk.

WeÕll start off todayÕs show with a look at the classic UK punks styles.
Yes, thatÕs right, this is where it all started. While the early punks were
hanging out during the day at local bondage shops in areas like Leeds and
London, early skinheads were starting fights at nearby bars and soccer
stadiums. Up first we have Betty Bondage wearing a short plaid skirt by Punx
of London, Doc MartenÕs 14 hole boots, a Vice Squad T-shirt, and a leather
biker jacket from WilsonÕs Leather which has a total of over 150 spikes and
over 15 patches! Now this ladies and gentlemen is punk rock! After her we
have Tommy Hooligan with the classic skin[head] look. HeÕs got his faded
LeviÕs jeans, in slim of course, 10 hole DocÕs, black suspenders, and the
ever popular Fred Perry polo shirt. Who could go wrong with a Fred?
Following him we have Joey Anger with his punk rock gear. HeÕs got red plaid
bondage pants from Dogpile, spiked belt, 14 hole oxblood DocÕs, his GBH
T-shirt, and a leather jacket from WilsonÕs which itself has over 200 spikes
and numerous patches! This jacket is a work of art!

One to the next line, we have the punks and skins of the present. Whether
theyÕre rocking it in the UK, America or anywhere around the globe these
punks make it look good! I mean, these guys and girls are the epitomes!
First we have Sally Byrd displaying the look of todayÕs Oi! [ItÕs a type of
punk] scene. SheÕs got her extra tight LeviÕs (no flares for her), 14 hole
cherry DocÕs, red suspenders, a black Fred Perry polo with a matching white
Fred Perry sweater vest! Up next we have Mark Casualty with his punk rock
style. HeÕs got black bondage pants, 20 hole DocÕs, spiked belt, his Clash
T-shirt and a leather jacket with nearly 250 spikes and safety pins! I mean,
how can you compete with that! If these guys arenÕt the best, I havenÕt seen
anything.

Finally, we have the punk rock style for the future. So shockingly
different, these may truly become the styles of the new millennium of punk
rock and roll! We have only one model, but the style he has is destined to
be brilliant. Oliver Superpunk is wearing his amazingly unique red plaid
bondage pants by Dogpile, 14 hole DocÕs, an Exploited T-shirt, a spiked
belt, a black leather jacket with some 200 spikes all over and all Unseen
and Blanks 77 patches! This ladies and gentlemen is the future of punk rock.
Something so different like this is going to bring a new face to punk rock
which it hasnÕt seen. I am just hoping I can get a leather jacket too. I am
Johnny Nice Punk saying goodbye and punk rock will never die! Oi! to the
frigginÕ punks!!