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I was recently talked into seeing Constantine, the worst movie
I've seen since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (that's right, I didn't like the most overrated movie of last year.
What are you going to do? Hate-mail me? Bring it on movie buffs).
If you take a moment to read what people are saying about Constantine on imdb.com you will see that nearly everyone thought Rachel Weisz, Djimon Hounsou, and Gavin Rossdale made this movie worthwhile. WRONG.
Everything about this movie sucked. Although I must say Keanu Reeves didn't look like his trademark grumpy faced moron with
the personality of a robot through the entire movie. He also went into whiny little girl mode who got bitched to God whenever
things didn't work out for him.
Oh yeah, and Shia LaBeouf (that fag from Holes) played the worst sidekick since
Robin of Batman and Robin. Seriously, all he did was overact and annoy me. It was like he was saying "Alex, you are so
stupid! You actually got talked into seeing a friggin Keanu Reeves movie! I might as well make this movie worse for
you! HAHAHAHAH!" He literally served no purpose. All he did was drive Keanu Reeves around. Then he died. I would rather walk
than be driven around by him.
As if that weren't bad enough, we also get some shameless selling out to Chevrolet.
It was ridiculous. There was a Chevy billboard hogging up the entire screen for ten seconds. Seriously, the could have just
slipped it into the background, but nooooo, they have to ruin the already shaky continuity of the movie by throwing
in a billboard. Thanks jerks. Actually, I take that back- I would rather watch a billboard for two hours then watch
this train wreck again.
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