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Chapter Title: Yellow
Author: Chad
E-mail: chad_m_@hotmail.com
Rated: R
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, but the story is.
Summary: After all the heartache and four years of marriage, Buffy and Angel’s relationship finally comes to and end when he cheats on her. B/A, B/S, and A/C.
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*Yellow*
~Cold Play~
//Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow//
“Angel . . . I love you. "
A sweet voice rang distantly and lovingly in his ears.
Too bad it was only a vague memory of a woman who still managed to hold his heart.
Angel was never able to forget her and was not capable to love another.
Of course, Buffy would always occupy his entire heart.
How and why he ever began and continued a relationship with Cordelia, he’ll never understand. Maybe it was a moment of weakness, a moment of rebellion against fate and destiny. Whatever the reason was . . . it was hopeless now.
Buffy was gone, and he wasn’t able to do anything about it.
Yet one thing he was definitely sure of. He still loved her . . . after five years. Why he didn’t realize this before . . .
He shook his head and gazed out of the airplane window.
When his golden goddess walked away so long ago, she had taken his entire life with her; his heart, his soul, his . . . everything.
Buffy had taught him how to love, to trust, and to be happy for once. She had been his entire life, yet he had been so idiotic not see it. Blinded by the belief that she would always be there when he came trudging back . . . he had betrayed her.
She was only human, as well as an angel, who could only be hurt by him so many times . . . and who can only forgive just as much. So she did the only thing that she knew would make him happy. Thinking it would make him happy. And because of that . . . she ran away.
She ran away from him.
The thought of that made his heart clench in pain and utter disgust at himself. He began to ponder if he would ever be forgiven for his sin of breaking her heart; of taking it within his hands and squeezing the life out of it.
//I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow"//
He looked toward his right. At his son who was now sleeping peacefully in a curved ball in his seat. He smiled slightly. Connor was the only remaining piece of happiness in his life. The only one who still managed to make him happy.
He lightly touched the young boy’s head.
For five years, he had been without a mother. And after five years, the boy still remembered Buffy, admired and loved her as though she had never really left.
"Do you need anything, sir?" the stewardess asked him, pulling him out of his reverie as she smiled at him, practically drooling all over his well suited form.
He looked at her calmly and shook his head before running his left hand through his hair, making sure that she saw his gold wedding band he still wore proudly on his ring finger.
She smiled again, a bit sadly this time before walking away to attend to the others on the plane
He sat back on his seat and he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.
It was time that he started a new life . . . a new beginning without Buffy. He was moving to Hawaii. It had been calling to him. So he moved his business base there. He needed to start fresh and start forgetting . . .
Which will never actually happen.
//So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."//
"Austin!“ a voice shouted through the halls of a beach house at the coast of Honolulu, Hawaii.
Spike looked up from his morning newspaper just in time to see a young five year old run past the kitchen doorway, naked as the day he was born, laughing in delight as a woman with golden tousled hair chased after him. Following her was another five year old boy with a towel around his shoulders.
He smirked, his scarred eyebrow quirked up as Buffy came walking by the door again with Austin in her arms and Hayden by her side. She looked at him with a bland expression, her clothes wet from trying to bathe the two young boys who had been refusing all morning to take a shower.
“I see you had another water battle with the little tykes,” he commented.
Her lips tugged into a smile. “Yup, and I lost. Big time,” she chuckled lightly.
“True warriors. Takes after their mum . . . and just a bit of their dad,“ he smiled before returning to his paper.
Buffy shook her head and looked at Austin who was busy trying to braid his mother’s hair and down at Hayden who started tying the towel around his neck like it was a cape. She stared deep into their brown eyes, like two pools of milky chocolates with a hint of future brooding in them.
So much like their father . . . so much like their brother except for the dirty blond hair and the perkiness their mother held. But maybe that was just because they both had grown up with only her.
“Spike?!” she called out as she began drying Austin with a big fluffy white towel and gently grabbing Hayden's hand. “Can you make some chocolate pancakes! Please?!” she begged in a pitiful tone.
Her response was a loud mumble and a skillet being dropped against a stove.
“Thank you!” she smiled.
//Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so. //
The blond looked up at the night sky bathed in darkness. The only sound were the waves crashing softly against the sand and the rocks below her balcony of the beach house she had lived in since she moved here with Spike.
Her two twin sons were fast asleep in her arms, one on each side of her, cuddled against her chest with their baby blue blankets. She softly kissed their foreheads, beginning to miss those she loved and still loved from her past.
'Did he remarry?' her mind asked, but no one, not even the wind answered her in return. ‘To Cordelia, of all people? Did he . . . did he forget about me?’ Again there was no answer and she was glad.
She missed him so much that it hurt, making her heart scream at the irony . . . making her soul cry out for her other half. She missed the way he made her heart beat like crazy with his soft smiles, the way her knees would buckle when she looked into his brown eyes that had looked at her with much love and affection. She missed the way he made her feel safe and warm when he took her in his arms and caressed her hair. She missed him so much that she ached everyday to touch him and hear his voice.
//I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
'cause you were all "Yellow"//
Most of all, she missed Connor . . . and how much she wished he knew that he was an older brother . . . and how much she wanted to remind him how much she loved him.
She wiped away a tear that streaked down her face.
"Mommy?" one of her little angels questioned, looking up at her with worry.
“I’m okay, baby,” she assured Hayden, who seemed to be more of the serious one out of the two, “Just missing someone . . . that’s all.”
The little boy still looked concerned, and she had to give him credit for being smarter than she credited him to be. “I love you, Mommy,” he whispered before cuddling even deeper within her embrace.
“I love you too, Sweetie. I love both of you.”
//I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow”//
The dark haired man looked around his condo with an expressionless face. It looked so blank despite all the furniture and modern paintings that had come with it. But then of course, there were no memories of happy times within his walls either.
“Daddy?” Connor yawned as he looked around their new apartment with a sense of awe, confusion, and excitement.
“It’s not as big as the hotel,” was his first comment.
Angel laughed. “But he the view of beach will make up for it,” he commented before placing Connor on the ground and watching him race towards the large gigantic windows to look out into the sea. “Wow! It’s so cool!” he then looked at his father, “Can we go swimming, Dad? Please!?”
Angel nodded. “Alright,” he said, “But let’s get unpacked first?” he said, looking at the boxes and suitcases.
//Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry. //
“G.I. Joe!” Austin called out for his dog, clapping his hands as he went from room to room calling out the golden retriever’s name. Buffy smiled at the memory of Austin pointing at the puppy at the pet store and muttering the name, Hayden had followed suit and began chanting it like a prayer.
Her and Spike had laughed and had to get the dog. G.I. Joe was the only thing the twins had said during an entire month since getting the little beast.
With that last thought, a blur of a ball of gold fluff ran right past her vision and towards the awaiting arms of her two small five year olds. She smiled again and looked at her watch. It was 15 minutes past eleven and the baby sitter still wasn’t here.
“You know, luv,” Spike said behind her, “I can just watch the little tykes ‘til you get back from your meeting.”
She smiled at him. “They wants to go down to the beach, and I can’t have my best friend fried and toasted to extra crispy . . . plus,” she added, “You need to get some rest. I know how the agency has been keeping you up lately.”
“But . . . “
“Spike,” she interrupted, “It’s okay,” she said and began to gently push him down to his basement apartment, “Get some sleep and don’t worry about a thing,” she said and kissed his lips before shutting the door closed.
“Alright! But you know where to find me!” he yelled behind the door, “Obviously,” he added in a mumble.
“C’mon, guys,” she said, holding her hand towards her sons, “Let’s go to the beach until Deidre comes, okay?”
“Okay,” they nodded and skipped happily towards the beach with G.I. Joe trudging by their sides.
//It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.//
“Connor, be careful!” Angel called out as he watched his son kick at the sand and waves. The beach was quite empty for a bright and sunny afternoon. Maybe it was because this area of the beach was private and were only for those who lived at the beach houses and condos that stood meters away from the water.
“Hey, Dad! Look! I found a sand dollar!” Connor gasped excitedly as he held up the piece of treasure.
“Keep it and we’ll begin a collection,” Angel smiled.
“Cool!” he said and stuffed it in his pockets.
Just then, he saw a golden retriever running towards his son. “Hey, Dad! Look! It’s a dog!” Connor yelled, petting the perky animal on the head.
“G.I. Joe!” a small voice yelled, and looked towards the sand and found a small child dressed in a white T-shirt and khaki shorts running towards them. Another one, looking exactly like him followed behind, dressed in same pair of khakis with a black shirt.
The dog barked and trudged towards the children, licking their face.
“HI!” the boys waved at Angel.
“Hayden! Austin!” another voice called out, familiar this time, and Angel had to look up towards the beach house where the kid obviously came from. But he couldn’t see anything. A group of palm trees were in the way.
“C’mon, G.I. Joe,” Hayden said.
“Wait, I’ll walk you there,” Angel found himself saying.
Both boys looked at him curiously, their brown eyes staring deep into Angel’s. “C’mon, Connor,” he said, pulling his gaze away, “Let’s go meet some neighbors.”
“Hayden! Austin!” the same voice called out again.
“C’min’, Mommy,” the pair said in unison.
Angel looked around the corner and was met with a young woman, around the age of twenty with her inside the house. “I’m so sorry I was late. There was a parade in my neighborhood and couldn’t get past them,” he heard her say.
She looked back and saw them. “Austin! Hayden! C’mere!”
The children ran happily towards her and jumped in her arms. “Hello!” she waved at Angel and Connor before disappearing inside the beach house.
Angel frowned slightly. There was just something about those kids . . . something about the voice he heard . . . and something about this house that made him wonder.
“C’mon. Let’s go eat something,” Angel said to his son before lifting boy up and throwing him over his shoulder.
//Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.//
Continue to Chapter 4: Crawling
Back to Chapter 2: I Turn To You