ON THE FIELD
"Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets."
"I remember one time I'm batting against the Dodgers in Milwaukee. They lead, 2 - 1, it's the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two out and the pitcher has a full count on me. I look over to the Dodger dugout and they're all in street clothes."
"When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me."
"Wait until it stops rolling and pick it up." - on how to catch a knuckleball
"I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase."
"The highlight of my career? In '67 with St. Louis, I walked with the bases loaded to drive in the winning run in an intersquad game in spring training."
[On the respect he received as a hitter] "I'm up in the bottom of the ninth against the Dodgers, two out, the bases loaded, and the count 3 and 2. I look over to the Dodger dugout and they're all in street clothes."
AWARDS - HONORS - RECORDS
"I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for $3,000. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up."
"Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat."
"If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter."
"In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the Bigs."
"People don't know this but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it."
"The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud."
"I had slumps that lasted into the winter."
"I led the league in 'Go get 'em next time.'"
"I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed."
"Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products."
"I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly."
"I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture."
"One time, I got pulled over at 4 a.m. I was fined $75 for being intoxicated and $400 for being with the Phillies."
"A doctor told me to drink lemon juice after a hot bath. But I have never finished the bath."
"Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of Old-Timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times."
BASEBALL IN GENERAL
"Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?"