Locke: Governor (cntd.)

Some Thoughts Concerning Education - by John Locke, 1693

[ Governor, cntd. ]

§ 93 The character of a sober man and a scholar, is, as I have above observed, what every one expects in a tutor. This generally is thought enough, and is all that parents commonly look for: but when such a one has emptied out into his pupil all the latin and logic he has brought from the university, will that furniture make him a fine gentleman? Or, can it be expected that he should be better bred, better skilled in the world, better principled in the grounds and foundations of true virtue and generosity, than his young tutor is?

To form a young gentleman as he should be, 'tis fit his governor should himself be well-bred, understanding the ways of carriage, and measures of civility in all the variety of persons, times and places, and keep his pupil; as much as his age requires, constantly to the observation of them. This is an art not to be learnt nor taught by books. Nothing can give it, but good company and observation, joined together. The taylor may make his clothes modish, and the dancing-master give fashion to his motions; yet neither of these, though they set off well, make a well-bred gentleman. No; though he have learning to boot, which, if not well managed, makes him more impertinent and intolerable in conversation. Breeding is that which sets a gloss upon all his other good qualities, and renders them useful to him, in procuring him the esteem and goodwill of all that he comes near. Without good breeding, his other accomplishments make him pass but for proud, conceited, vain, or foolish.

Courage in an ill-bred man, has the air, and escapes not the opinion of brutality. Learning becomes pedantry; wit, buffoonry; plainness, rusticity; good nature, fawning. And there cannot be a good quality in him, which want of breeding will not warp, and, disfigure to his disadvantage. Nay, virtue and parts, though they are allowed their due commendation, yet are not enough to procure a man a good reception, and make him welcome wherever he comes. No body contents himself with rough diamonds, and wears them so, who would appear with advantage. When they are polished and set, then they give a lustre. Good qualities are the substantial riches of the mind, but 'tis good breeding sets them off: and he that will be acceptable, must give beauty, as well as strength to his actions. Solidity; or even usefulness, is not enough: a graceful way and fashion in every thing, is that which gives the ornament and liking. And in most cases, the manner of doing is of more consequence, than the thing done; and upon that depends the satisfaction or disgust wherewith it is received. This therefore, which lies not in the putting off the hat, nor making of compliments, but in a due and free composure of language, looks, motion, posture, place, &c. suited to persons and occasions, and can be learned only by habit and use, though it be above the capacity of children, and little ones should not be perplexed about it; yet it ought to be begun, and in a good measure learned by a young gentleman, whilst he is under a tutor, before he comes into the world upon his own legs: for then usually it is too late to hope to reform several habitual indecencies, which lie in little things. For the carriage is not as it should be, till it is become natural in every part, falling, as skilful musicians fingers do into harmonious order, without care, and without thought. If in conversation a man's mind be kept up with a solicitous watchfulness about any part of his behaviour, instead of being mended by it, it will be constrained, uneasy, and ungraceful.

Besides, this part is most necessary to be formed by the hands and care of a governor; because, though the errors committed in breeding are the first that are taken notice of by others, yet they are the last that any one is told of: not but that the malice of the world is forward enough to tattle of them; but it is always out of his hearing, who should make profit of their judgment, and reform himself by their censure. And indeed, this is so nice a point to be meddled with, that even those who are friends, and with it were mended, scarce ever dare mention it, and tell those they love, that they are guilty in such or such cases of ill breeding. Errors in other things may often with civility be shown another; and 'tis no breach of good manners or friendship, to let him right in other mistakes: but good breeding itself allows not a man to touch upon this, or to insinuate to another, that he is guilty of want of breeding. Such information can come only from those who have authority over them; and from them too it comes very hardly and harshly to a grown man; and however softened, goes but ill down with any one, who has lived ever so little in the world. Wherefore it is necessary, that this part should be the governor's principal case, that an habitual gracefulness and politeness in all his carriage, may be settled in his charge; as much as may be, before he goes out of his hands; and that he may not need advice in this point, when he has neither time nor disposition to receive it, nor has any body left to give it him. The tutor therefore ought, in the first place, to be well-bred: and a young gentleman, who gets this one qualification from his governor, lets out with great advantage, and will find, that this one accomplishment will more open his way to him, get him more friends, and carry him farther it the world, than all hard words, or real knowledge he has got from the liberal arts, or his tutors learned encyclopaedia. Not that those should be neglected, but by no means preferred, or suffered to thrust out the other.