July 1, 2001

(In the life of an adult sexual abuse survivor)

The beeper message and the fucking letter....

It was a fairly relaxing day when my hubby's beeper went off and left a 1-800 number for him to retrieve the message.

It was one of my half-sisters.  It went like this:

"Hi, this is ------.  I've called 10 times already, and Mili's message says she's not going to return any of our calls. BYE!"

My response?  It's a lie on 2 counts.  One, there has been no indication of her calling my house.  I have caller ID and her number is just not there. Two, I would NEVER leave an outgoing message like that. Total fucking fabrication.  However, I have received a slew of hang-up calls with "unknown number" listed on my Caller Id.

It could be one of them.  They are petty enough to pull stupid tricks like that.

It's the kind of low-level harassment that I have experienced from them all my life.  I moved very far away from them, but once in a while I still get problems from them.

A few weeks ago another half-sister sent me a handwritten letter.  Now this lady was actually raped by my perpetrator, and at times she plays this weird game with me called: I-got-it-worse-than-you-but-I-can-forget-and-move-on.  Meanwhile, she spent many miserable years in a marriage to a man who was a sicko just like my dad. She didn't realize it until years later.

Anyway, I digress. She sent me a letter.  And it goes like this: