What does Family mean to You?
Family can be people related by marriage but it
also can be a group of people with a common interest or bond, or people that
care for you deeply. With Family you do not have to say I am sorry,
because they know how you feel, even though it tightens the bond between
everyone when you do.
This story is about my
FAMILY; my MOM, DAD (Jim), and 3 Older brothers. During Easter Weekend 1999 I
found out just how tight my Family was. I was getting ready to go into
the hospital for Brain Surgery to try to control my Seizures; I have epilepsy and have had it
for the past 36yrs. My Mom and Dad flew out from Florida to be
with me prior and after the Surgery.
My
Parents came in on Wednesday My Brother Rob who lives in San
Francisco, across the bay from me as I lived in Oakland. When my Parents
arrived, I knew that the Surgery was really going to happen now, my
Parents were here. I was afraid that the doctor was going to cancel it, I
was very anxious or losing some of my memory. What would happen if I came out of
the surgery and could not remember my MOM, or my Dad or my
Brother’s? People that have been so involved in my life.
Time for a side story, while I was growing up I was teased all the
time in Regular school because I had gone to a Special Education school and the
kids knew it. I was Teased, my books stolen from my Bicycle baskets as I rode to
school, got in to fights and mostly this was from the Older kids. My
Brother John was on the Varsity High school football Team and he got a few
of his buddies and walked me to school for a few days. Now think of being 10 or
11 yrs old and having an older Brother that was 17 or 18 with some of his
friends around walking you to school. Needless to say the Stuff on the way to
school stopped. I could ride my bike to school without needing to worry about
it. He also taught me how to defend my self and it REALLY DID WORK. Although the
teasing went on the fights stopped.
There so many
more instances like this that's another story, maybe some day I
will write those down too. Now back to the Story.
My Parents were staying in Redwood City were I was to have
the surgery. Therefore, my Brother and his son and I went down to see
them and maybe have some dinner. It was really wonderful to see Mom and
Dad as I hadn’t seen them since Christmas ’97. When we got to the Hotel
about a 45 minute drive from San Francisco there were a TON and I do mean a TON
of HUGS all around. My Dad said he wanted REAL MEXICAN FOOD, UT OH, so
Rob knew of a Mexican restaurant and Deli that made Burritos, now let me tell
you these “Regular” Burritos were the biggest ones I had ever saw. So there were
5 of us in this little Hotel room it was very close quarters but that didn’t
matter, as we are FAMILY.
On Thursday, I
had to work so I met my Mom and Dad in Hayward where I work and we
went to VAL’s “The best Hamburgers in the West”. West of what we never did
figure out. After that it was time for me to go to work, but my Parents
did get to see the place I work at as I worked in Crisis Mental Health Counseling
and we need to be very careful of Confidentiality of our Clients. I talked with
my Program Director and Program Supervisor and asked if I could have the rest of
the week off because I was just getting to Anxious over my Surgery. He said as
long as I could find someone to work my shifts I would be able to do it. I
called one of our Subs and she agreed to pick up the shifts AHHH YAHOOOOO More
time to spend with my Brothers, and Parents.
Now On To Saturday, my Cousin Clayton was getting married and the
whole Family was there All four Brothers and Mom and
Dad, this does not happen that often. John had a Rotten Cold and was not
feeling well at all. The Ceremony was nice, for a church thing. One of the most
memorable moments was when the Bride and Groom kneeled in front of the Father
and two people put a Cape, Vail what ever you want to call it over them and than
put a Rope around them. Nothing like being tied up at the Alter.
All my Brothers and Mom were hinting that
something was going to happen on Sunday, but they didn’t know that I had gotten
an Email from my Cousin telling me what was going to happen and that he was
going to support me in the same fashion. So I asked all my Brothers about
everyone getting their Haircuts tomorrow. John looked me right in the eye and
said that “No, not everyone was getting their hair cuts”, so being the Counselor
I am I decided to ask the other Brothers about it, Rob was busy with the
Wedding as he was one of the attendants. So I asked Rick the Oldest about it and
YES HE spilled the Beans about the haircuts, that they were going to cut their
hair in Solidarity of my Surgery, and Mom had a special present the next day for
us.
So Plans
were made to meet at Robs House the next morning Sunday, just four days before I
was to go in to the Hospital.
Mom and Jim
would pick me up and we would drive over “Early”. Mom was going to make
us all breakfast and afterwards the Haircuts would begin. Mom also gave
us her Presents, I got a hat that said Cap’n Chris and Rick, John, Rob and Jim
had gotten one that said Chris’s Crew.
While
Mom was making Breakfast we all got the Before Pictures
Done, in Rob’s back yard with all of us with our hats on WITH
HAIR.
John was the
first one in the “chair”, Rick being the Oldest and John being the Next oldest.
Rick was going to do the Honors. There was a Mirror in front of us and Rick
started to shave Johns head, I am sure you could hear the laughter outside the
House and in the next apartments. John had finally ended up with a Mohawk,
which we thought was good for him as he is a Science teacher and is a Couch for
his High School Football team. Everyone was laughing so hard that most of
us were crying. This was a time that we wished we had had a Camcorder.
Rick was the next one in the “Chair” and seeing John and Rick had grown up competing against each other, it was John’s turn to CUT SOME HAIR. John started right down the Middle of Rick’s Hair; By The Way Rick had the most hair of us all. You could see John was really enjoying himself with this, it was Brotherly Love or better known as PAYBACK TIME. John started with a cut right down the middle of Rick’s Scalp, We figured John had learned how to do this while he was in High School as he went to Shawnee High School. John continued to shave the top and than he started on the Bottom. Until Rick ended up with just two little patches of hair on each side of his head. We nicknamed them POODLE PUFFS. Again, the Laughter was spread across the Neighborhood.
Now for the one that we all thought was not going to get
his Haircut, ROB, as he had a
Big Job interview with the City of San Francisco in the Morning. But being the
one of the Brothers he got into the chair. Now you have to understand Rob
look just like our Grandfather on our Mom’s side, and everyone knows where male
pattern Baldness comes from right? I am not sure how to describe it but Rob had
THE RING with long hair in the back. So Rob got in to THE CHAIR. Rick again
started on his Hair; you know how Older Brothers can be. Again, seeing
that Rob had that Job interview in the Morning we didn’t want to do anything to
Drastic. We all think Rick missed his calling, instead of wasting his time being
a Project manager he should have been a Barber, he really seems to like this
kind of work, Well maybe he can do it as a side Job. So Rick went and Started on
Robs, head Lowering his hair line even more and trimming the beard up nicely.
However, keeping the Long hair in the back. We called this look the Ben Franklin
Look. Again the Whole time everyone is Laughing almost in tears.
Now it is Jim’s turn We thought but he got out of it
saying he had to go back Home and he didn’t think they would understand there.
We still tried and talked him in to it but no go.
My hair was somewhat short to begin with, as I got it cut
for the Wedding and Mom and Jim, as Jim would have killed me if he would
have seen just how long my hair was. However, that did not stop Rick and John.
Again John started right down the middle and started cutting strips out of my
hair, Rick quickly joined in as I guess Project Managers/Wannabe Barbers do
sometimes, and started to direct John to where he should cut and also got the
scissors out to clean up what ever John missed. Geeezzz Big
Brothers. Again, the Laughter of everyone including me was just too
much. It seemed like an eternity in the Chair but actually, it wasn’t any longer
than the rest of them. We than proceeded to inhale Mom’s breakfast and had to
hurry as John and his wife and Rick had to make flights back home. We than sat out front of
Robs Place, in the Middle of San Francisco just blocks from the Castro
District. Man oh Man did he get some looks.
After
a short break, it was time for the Finishing touches.
ALL THE HAIR CAME OFF. We used Robs beard shaver but it just
didn’t get close enough, so Rick popped out his Electric Shaver and started
getting a really CLOSE shave, all our heads were clean as a whistle with a Blue
tint to them. Again, I wish we had a camcorder. Than for the After Shots back
to the back yard and in the same positions we were in one with Hat’s on, One
with hats off. Boy it sure was bright and one with hats off with heads toward
the camera, I am surprised that the glare didn’t ruined the Pictures.
Then Rick, John, and his wife had to leave to get
home.
On Monday, I had been asked by my doctor at UCSF to be a guinea pig for the LAST TIME.
As he and his team was developing a new type of MRI, directed specifically for
People with Epilepsy. It can read the chemical levels in the brain and specially
find the area or focal point of the seizures. Wow did we learn a lot that
day.
On Tuesday we decided that it would be
better if I and stayed with Mom and Jim until Thursday as I had the
second doctors appointment with the Neuro Surgeon early in the morning the
following day at Kaiser Redwood City.
After the Appt we had decided to do some shopping and get a couple of things
that I would need in the hospital like a Robe and pair of slippers and a pair of
PJ’s. Now try I have a Big foot but you would think it would be easy to find a
Robe and Slippers at Major Department Stores in the Area of the hospital. Nope,
every where we went we were told that they were “Out of Season”. We wondered how
those things were ever OUT OF SEASON. Nevertheless, Mom did find them, as I
needed to do a couple of more things at the hospital before I could
leave.
Now for the Big Day.
I had to be at the Hospital at 6:30am, now having been a
Swing Shift person for over 3 yrs, that time is the middle of the night for me.
So we have a wake up call at OH GOD 30 or better known as 5:30am. We get to the
Hospital actually a few mins before my scheduled time and for those of you that
know Jim that is a feat in it’s self.
Admitting
was a breeze, next we waited for the nurse to come down and get ready to go to
Pre – OP. I met the nurse and she had me put the gowns on, don’t you just hate
those gowns. She than put those funny stockings on my legs, they are to stop
blood clots and she gave me a pill. Well for the majority of the rest of the
day, as I don’t remember. I just talked to Mom said that the
surgery lasted about six and half to seven hours. When I came out of
Recovery I was moved to the Neuro Surgery Critical Care Unit. While there
I spoke to Mom and she understood me. I also grabbed her hand and
squeezed it tightly, Subliminally I knew my Mom was with me. I guess you
always know who your Mom is even if you don't know it. Mom having
been a RN told the Nurse that she was an RN also. Now how many times do
you think she had heard that? Mom asked the Nurse, to see my chart
and noticed that I was taking 30mg of Demerol. Mom asked if it could be
raised to 40mg "Don't you think he deserves it?" the nurse replied Yes I think
so.
I do remember waking up that night and
hearing Mom’s and Jim’s voice, although I couldn't see them, asking me
how I feel. I remember telling them I had a huge toothache and the nurse giving
me a shot.
Now on to the second part of;
Family
We Laugh
We
Cry
We Share
We Care
But Most Of
All
WE are FAMILY