The Bible - Endsville Style
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Another accounting of the history of King David, more boring stuff and more killing and smoting. Written by someone called Ezra and a whole long list of begetting too..

Ivy Vaughn attempts to understand the wonderous mysteries of the ways of Sacred Caleb.

18:1-4 Now after this it came to pass, that David smote the Philistines, and subdued them, and took Gath and her towns out of the hands of the Philistines. 2) And he smote Moab; and the Moabites became David's servants and brought gifts. 3) And David smote Hadarezer king of Zobah unto Hamath, as he went to stablish his dominion by the river Euphrates. 4) And David took from him a thousand chariots, and seven thousand horsemen, and twenty thousand footmen; David also houghted all the chariot horses, but reserved them a hundred chariots.

I don't think I would wanna piss off King David, hell, he might smite you! Smite, smite, smite..