The Bible - Endsville Style
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The Book of Joshua is a narrative book of the Bible, a narrative of Joshua, the divinely appointed successor to Moses after God whacked Moses for screwing up so badly right before they all entered the land of Milk and Honey. Basically in this book God tells Joshua to go in and kick some Canaanite ass. Many, many parallels between Joshua and The Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar.

The Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar Contemplating The Sacred Truths!

Chapter 23 - Joshua exhorts the people!


And it came to pass a long time after that the Lord had given rest unto Israel from all their enemies round about, that Joshua waxed old and stricken in age. 2. And Joshua called for all Israel and for their elders, and for their heads, and for their judges, and for their officers, and said unto them, I am old and stricken in age: 3. And ye have seen all these nations because of you; for the Lord your God is he that hath fought for you. 4. Behold, I have divided unto you by lot these nations that remain, to be an inheritance  for your tribes, from Jordan, with all the nations that I have cut off, even unto the Great Sea westward. 5. And the Lord, your God, he shall expel them from before you, and rive them from out of your sight; and ye shall possess their land, as the Lord, your God hath promised unto you.

All this means that God will keep his promises of a New World to the DOoFS and the Honorable Reverend Caleb Solar. God is always faithful in his promises to his beloved and to the righteous. We will inherit the earth as a reward for our faithfulness to the Lord.

Nicola explains the Truth of Quellish (LIC!) to Ivy as the cameras roll.

6. Be ye therefore very courageous to keep and do all that is written in the book of the law of Moses, that ye turn not aside therefrom to the right hand or to the left: 7. That ye come not among these nations, these that remain among you; neither make mention of the names of their gods, nor cause to swear by them, neither serve them, nor bow yourselves unto them: 8. But cleve unto the Lord your God, as ye have done unto this day. 9. For the Lord hath driven out from before you great nations and strong: but as for you, no man hath been able to stand before you unto this day. 10. One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the Lord your God, he it is that fighteth for you, as he hath promised you. 11. Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the Lord your God.

This is talking about not following the ways of the world and worshiping such empty things as celebrity, money or other evil things that will lead you away from the Lord. Only the strong and the brave and the DOoFS will come into paradise and only if they cling firmly to the Lord via the Sacred Teachings of Reverend Solar. We are not to follow the scoffers, the defilers, the self-important, the self-deluded, the backstabbers and the short people of this world as they will betray you constantly and sell you down the river to the Devil (Prince Victor, same thing!)

Nicola prepares to lead a round of singing the Arky Ark song

12. Else if you do in any wise go back and cleave unto the remnant of these nations, even these that remain among you, and shall make marriages with them, and go in unto them, and they to you. 13. Know for a certainty that the Lord your God will no more drive out any of these nations from before you; but they shall be snares and traps unto you, and scourges in your sides, and thorns in your eyes, until ye perish from off this good land which the Lord your God hath given you. 14. And, behold, this day I am going the way of all the earth: and ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the Lord your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof. 15. Therefore it shall come to pass, that as all good things are come upon you, which the Lord your God promised you; so shall the Lord your God bring upon you all evil things, until he have destroyed you form off this good land which the Lord your God hath given you. 16. When ye have transgressed the covenant of the Lord your God, which he commanded you, and have gone and served other gods, and bowed yourselves to them: then shall the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and ye shall perish quickly from off the good land which he hath given unto you.

First of all, verse 12 means that you're not supposed to be doing the "wild thang" with the KoY or any other of the evildoers of this world or God will open a can of whup ass on your heinie and that's a lot worse than a case of the clap. Also this bit be talking about all those folks that claim to be so righteous but are busy running about lying, cheating and just generally being evil and wrong or just living near a Wal-Mart. Watch out and ignore those ignorant peps before they drag your sorry ass down the road to hell with them. Press life's ignore button on them...