Men
In Black 2
(2002)
Rated: PG-13
Runtime: 1 Hour and 28 Minutes
Reviewer: Dale
Grade: C-A little Will Smith goes a long way. Trouble is, there is a LOT of Will Smith in this movie.
"Men in Black 2" is a movie that, I suspect, believes it is clever. It thinks that it is hip. It probably thinks that it is funny. At least, the makers of the film probably do. It thinks that it is a fantastic summer thrill ride (see the ads if you somehow doubt this).
This film, and its makers, have been misinformed.
"Men in Black 2" is not a really terrible movie. But it's got a lot of really terrible stuff in it. There are shining moments of humor hidden amongst the dreck of this film, much like a really tiny prize in the bottom of a box of Cracker Jacks. There is a really clever joke at the beginning at the expense of underwear models that made me laugh quite hard. The part where they visit their old buddy Jeebs (Tony Shalhoub, whose head explodes yet again) is rather amusing. And the worm guys are sporadically funny. But that's about it. Other than that, this film is basically shit. If this film were a box of Cracker Jacks, I would tell you that finding the prize was not worth the effort. This film is so bad that not even the laconic and icily deadpan presence of Tommy Lee Jones can save it. Even he looks lost in the film (even when he isn't supposed to). He looks like a man who wants to have a nice, long chat with his agent but instead must finish this film.
The problems of this film are myriad. First of all, there is entirely too much "hipper than thou" ghetto slang bandied about in this film. I felt as though I had wandered into a third rate "Friday" knockoff most of the time, rather than a sequel to "Men in Black". I suspect that this was because Will was given entirely too much free reign. By the time Tommy Lee shows up, you're thinking that he had better be damned good if this film wants to score any points. He isn't, and this film doesn't. The plot is exactly the same as the first film: an alien comes to Earth and poses as a human in order to find a little trinket which actually could mean the end of all life in the universe if it fell into the wrong hands and a sweet woman must help the Men in Black find it. The alien pretends to be a hot female this time (Lara Flynn Boyle, showing enough flesh to make her scenes interesting on, at least, that level) and the trinket is attached to a charm bracelet rather than a cat's collar. Sadly, this is what passes for originality in modern Hollywood. The sweet woman is okay. Rosario Dawson was actually good in her scenes. And, in her scenes with Will, Will actually gives something which approaches a performance. Tommy Lee, on the other hand, seems to be on auto pilot. Rip Torn is entirely wasted as Zed. I wanted to shoot Frank the Bulldog within three minutes (and that's being generous). Tony Shalhoub, as always, seems to be acting in his own private film, and I would have given a great deal of money to see that one rather than this one. Judging from his performance, that movie must have been a hell of a time.
Every moment turns into some absurd (and mostly unfunny) bit of wackiness. The film seems to think that by being rambling and over-the-top, it will, in turn, become quite hysterical. This is never the case. The jokes just aren't funny. That's the biggest problem. Had the jokes been funny, I still would've admired the movie simply for making me laugh. But the jokes mostly aren't. A handful are (and some are funny enough to make me, begrudging, give this film a "C-") but most of them just shrivel up and die on the screen. Even the alien species in the film are boring. They cover no new ground. We've seen them all before. "Men in Black 2" is just like "Men In Black", except without the funny parts. Or the wit. Or the plot. There is no plot to this film: just the threadbare ghost of one that serves as the flimsiest connective tissue between one unfunny moment and the next alleged gut buster. It's a hollow, lifeless enterprise that is noisy to cover the fact that no one is laughing. It's a mess that aims for the wallet rather than the heart. It seems content to have suckered you into giving it your money. It doesn't bother to actually entertain you. The first one was subtle and sharp and a whole lot of fun. This is the worst Sonnenfeld movie of all time. It's far worse than the charming "Big Trouble" (which squeaked out of theaters faster than a kid caught in the act of sneaking into one) and can't hold a candle to the "Addams Family" movies, which Sonnenfeld also did. I can't connect this movie with the man who made "Get Shorty".
Hell, this movie's even worse than "Wild, Wild West". That movie entertained me on some level. This one barely entertained me on any. Trust me. Just don't even bother.
P.S.- I didn't even mention Johnny Knoxville! He's even more horrible than you might imagine! Just ghastly! And he has two heads, neither of which has anything pertinent to say. He follows Lara Flynn Boyle around like a lobotomized puppy, providing yet another groan-inducing example of a villain who is supposedly a genius, yet has the most worthless henchman you could possibly imagine. He's just another terrible ingredient in the shit pie that is "Men in Black 2".