You know you're addicted to Palace...
1) When you see only avatars in your dreams.
2) When you double click your clothes to put them on.
3) When you forget how to laugh and can only say lol or hehe.
4) When you try to clean your house by saying 'clean'.
5) When you get stuck in traffic and yell out "LAG".
6) When you sign your avatar's nickname on your checks.
7) When you look for a log window while on the phone.
8) When you try to ZAP people in real life who make you angry.
9) When you believe your calling in life is to be a wizard.
10) When the only thing you can think of is where your next prop is coming from.
11) You point at people (and sometimes jump on them!)when you want to whisper.
12) You get frustrated that there's no "Goto Room" command to take you upstairs when you're
tired and ready for bed.
13) You keep referring to railways as "Jumpstations".
14) You expect to see balloons coming out of people's faces you are talking to IRL.
15) You look all around for the mouse or arrow keys when you want to move.
16) You take a shower and wonder how in the world they scripted that.
17) When you are away, you try desperately to make a computer out of anything, even Legos.
18) When you hear your doorbell, you wonder who is trying to whisper to you.
19) People walking around as different creatures is a normal occurrence to you.
20) You wonder how you can fit all your clothes into a little suitcase.
21) When your TV set shows nothing but black, you think it's a pserver problem.
22) You watch a bad, scratchy, noisy copy of a movie on the VCR and you blame it on the palace
23) You start to say goodnight to your spouse and find yourself saying "bkiss" instead.
24) You get frustrated that you can't find the "Wizard/Newroom? menu items when the thought
occurs that a new den would be nice.
25) Your youngest son brings home a new girl for Thanksgiving dinner and she calls you
"sweet thang" and you snap-"sweetiepie!-Jeesh!!" (and you know she ain't gonna fit in).
26) You can't find the windows explorer on your RCA TV to put in a mp3 plugin.
27) On a drive across country, you run out of film for room pics.
28) When passing notes to other students in class, you include a "To", "CC", "BCC", and
"Subject", but then have a hard time finding the "Send" button.
29) Also when passing notes in class, you use your palace nickname and draw little pictures to
30) Also when passing notes in class (yes, there is yet another) you include commands such as
and then when the sounds don't play, you spend hours in front of the piece of paper trying to
figure out what went wrong and why you can't hear the wavs.
31) You legally change your name to your screen name.
32) When someone in real life is being crude, you 'Kill that person and wonder why you ended up
in an institute for the criminally insane.
33) It's late, it's been a long day and your kids won't go to sleep. You getout your magic marker and write 'Shutdown on their little foreheads.
34) You accent your business letters with :)'s and :('s to make a point.
35) When telling people at work about something that happened the night before at home, you
refer to it as happening IRL.
36) When chatting with your RL friends, they ask about your Palace friends...by name.
37) When you go shopping for clothing, you refer to it as "prop shopping".
38) Instead of asking someone for their zip code, you ask them for a port number.
39) When your child is being unruly, you tell him/her, "Settle down before I pin ya.".
40) Upon entering a room in a building you've never been in, you find yourself looking for
41) When calling the local radio station to request your favorite song, you request that
"songtitle.wav" be played.
42) When returning home late at nite, instead of turning on the lights, you stand in the
darkness waiting for the room to download.
43) When someone is shouting IRL, you ask them to "Turn off the CAPS lock".
44) People in other areas of cyberspace are sure you own stock in TPI because you try to talk
everyone you meet into downloading the program.
45) You are sure TPI owes you at least 10% of the profits for the reason stated above.
46) Instead of logging off and shutting down your puter, when you say you're going to bed, it
means you're putting on a lying down av and a ^brb sign.
47) When entering a crowded room, instead of greeting each person individually, you say "Roomhi".
48) Someone or something upsets you IRL, you pick up the phone intending to call your best
friend only find yourself dialing 5938 (page).
49) When someone asks you how to do something IRL, your first response is to ask them,
"PC or Mac?".
50) When filling out paperwork, in the address box you write "palace.thepalace.com" and in the
zip code box, "9998".
51) When you see someone wearing an outfit that you really like, instead of complimenting them,
you ask, "May I clone you?".
52) You spend tons of time and money in clothing stores, costume shops, junk yards, etc as
appropriate, so you can dress IRL like your favorite props.
53) You back up your palace files but leave the master accounting spreadsheet for work on your
HD because you are out of zip disks.
54) You can't figure out how to play a CD or tape on your stereo because none of the buttons on
the remote are labeled ")".
55) You go outside and forget your house keys and try to get back inside by scratching
/"unlock" SAY into the door with a penknife.
56) You tell your art teacher that Michelangelo's depictions of God were all wrong...then you
show her a printout of Jbum's pic you downloaded from the web.
57) When you have a problem IRL and have tried everything you know to fix it and it still
doesn't work...you look for the button to reboot.
58) You refer to dropping bleach on clothes as "Ghosting" effect.
59) When in a bar, you're startled to find out the bartender's name isn't Harry.
60) When introduced to someone new IRL and they have a normal name (e.g. Jim, Bob, etc), you
ask, "Is that your real name?".
61) You refer to doing laundry as 'cleaning out your prop bag'.
62) While out at your favorite nightclub, you see someone dressed in a risque outfit...you
think to yourself, "That person needs to be propgagged" and begin looking at the club's
employee's nametags to see who has a * in front of their name.
63) Before buying new curtains, you measure your windows in pixels.
64) When you discipline your dog, you no longer say 'sit', you say...'350 30 SETPOS!'
65) You find you have purchased everything that is on the market with a smiley face,
key chains, stuffed dolls, postcards, wrapping paper, etc.
66) You want the whistling smiley face on the signs at WalMart to be guest speaker at a palace
67) The only time you wake up is if someone in your dream bubbles )boom you.
68) When you're with a group of people and they get quiet all of the sudden you shout out "LAG!".
69) Whenever you leave to do something you insist on leaving behind a sign that says ^brb.
70) When you are filling out forms on paper you wish you had copy & paste.
71) You are not used to writing because you are only used to communicating with keys.
72) When someone is slow waiting on you, you say "oh...they must be having ISP trouble or
trouble logging on."
73) When the power goes out you frantically run around the house thinking "HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?" and assume the world is coming to an end.
74) When you are in a room you try and enter authoring mode...or you see if you can see the
75) Your behind is in the shape of your chair, or your chair in the shape of your behind.
76) You have a nice healthy monitor glow.
77) Instead of putting your clothes on individually, you have your outfits set to macros.
78) You ask your spouse/roommate to "Please purge the trash".
79) When you see a tennis ball, you ask it: "Do you have a name we can call you?".
80) When meeting someone new IRL whom you find attractive, you ask: "Is that how you really look?".
81) When filling out a job application and it asks for other languages you speak fluently,
you write in "typonese".
82) When walking through a rough neighborhood, you try to put a * in front of your name so
the hoodlums get scared.
83) You have your boss invited for dinner and although he knows the kids are asleep in the next
room, he yells and laughs at his own jokes. You politely stand up, excuse yourself for a minute,
go into the kids' room and whisper to them ;ao muteboss SAY.
84) You are waiting for a person to come by the house for a meeting and suddenly you have to
leave, you hang a note on the door with big red letters...BRB.
85) When nobody will come near you because you haven't showered for days.
86) When you are up so late you have permanent bags around your eyes.
87) When you are logged on all the time in a little room with the shutters shut and the lights
off. Then when you walk outside your eyes burn from that big bright circle in the sky.
88) If your friends file a missing persons report with your name on it. Then several weeks later
find you in your basement locked away with a computer in front of you.
89) If your whole life's ambition is to grow up and work for the palace company, or even
better, to buy the company all together.
90) If you refuse to leave to go to the bathroom because you don't want to miss a minute of the
palace dance you're at.
91) If you get plastic surgery to look like your favorite avatar.
92) If you plan to have your wedding in a Las Vegas based palace.
93) If you model your house to look like your favorite palace.
94) If you set your whole desktop theme with the splash screen and palace sounds.
95) If you have a phobia of tennis courts.
96) If whenever you go over to your friends' houses, you bring the palace program on a floppy
and install it onto their puter and refuse to leave until they register.
97) When you take your puter with you everywhere you go...to school, to the mall, on
vacation...so that you will never have to leave your palace friends behind.
98) Whenever you go to the computer stores with "Internet in the stores" computers set up, you
install palace on every computer there.
99) Instead of getting up off your duff to get food and drink, you sit there saying
"Beer Harry" and "Soup Harry".
100) If you try to reach 100 of these things, HAH.
101) When writing a hand written letter <gasp> you find yourself writing LOL and making sideways
smiley faces out of punctuation.
102) When thinking about a certain situation instead of smiling to yourself, you think LMAO in
103) Your mate ICQ's you from the other side of the living room to ask what's for dinner.
104) You're writing a letter to send "snail mail" and find yourself abbreviating with phrases
such as BTW or LOL.
105) You send a snail mail and it's addressed like: BobSMith@432parkave.albany.NY/47593
106) I knew I was addicted when I started calling my wife "Spunky" and wanted to name our son
I knew I was addicted when I signed my paycheck "Spunky" and started calling my husband
107) When your long distance phone call doesn't go through right away and you blame it, out loud, on lag.
108) When your offspring has picked up your palace habits, including palacing, and says "brb mom".
109) Looking at a chess board IRL, you say 'start chess and when that doesn't work, you
try 'start checkers.
110) When you don't want anyone entering the room you're in, you say "close sesame" and yell at
the statue who didn't call you master.
111) You burn yourself trying to go through the fire to see "who's in hell".
112) Instead of searching through the house for you, your child(ren) simply logs on and goes to
Main/Harry's and says "Knew I'd find you in the bar Mom".
113) Instead of your alphabet starting "a,b,c, etc"...it now starts "q,w,e, etc" following the
order of the keys on your keyboard.
114) When someone asks you your age IRL, your response is "This isn't AOL, we don't ask
115) When you expect to see people hanging upside down from the ceiling of your favorite bar.
116) When someone makes a smart aleck remark in a bar, you find yourself saying to the nearest
wall hanging, "Shut up Harry!".
117) When your spouse/roommate is snoring you whisper 'mute to him/her.
118) When you see someone unsuccessfully hitting on every person in a bar and they get to you,
you tell them, "Go try the hallway, sheesh".
119) No matter what chat program you are in.. you always put that space before the :).
120) A friend asks you out to Sunday brunch and you reply, "Sorry, I have a PUG meeting at
121) Your idea of a vacation is a weekend at a Palace party.
122) You ask for a trip to palace party as a B-day present cause the party comes within a month
of your B-day...the same gift every year.
123) You kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend's avatar.
124) Your eyeglasses have the Palace logo burned in on them.
125) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new Palace site address, even though you've never had heart problems before.
126) You step out of your room and realize your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
127) Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
128) You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
129) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP 'cause you never log off.
130) The last girl you picked up was only an avatar.
131) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
132) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat in Palace.
133) When someone standing next to you in real life says something to ya, you reply to them by typing on the keyboard.
134) When you start to resent your bladder.
135) When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!"
136) You keep begging your friends to register so "we can hang out".
137) You find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.
138) On the rare ocassion that you watch TV, you watch it with the closed captioning turned on.
139) You spend the early hours of a morning roaming around palace thinking "I Need just 1 entry to the List....".
140) You're enjoying an afternoon at the beach when a "know-it-all" show-off passes you walking & talking like an escaped mental patient and you sit there thinking "I hope he says 'Surfs Down' soon"
141) You start talking with a lisp and when your friends look at you strange you try saying "wisp off".
142) You look up at the clouds and think "I recognize that pattern".
143) You have guests over to visit for the first time. They ask for a tour of your house and you log on..."Now, this is the gate...".
144) You spend all day buying new clothes. The next day you open your closet and realize you crashed last night and all your clothes are gone and you'll once again have to go naked to the clothing store to buy some more.
145) You carry a tennis racket around everywhere you go just in case.
146) You walk in the door and try to esp to your wife "hi honey, I'm home".
147) You see a lone user in Robin's Garden and go to offer the homeless user some food or money.
148) You *accidently* arrive at a nudist beach & your parents(or you tell your kids) to cover their eyes till the clothes load up.
149) You get jealous of another radio station that you don't work at because their computer has a palace client & server on it for the announcer's use and the computer at your radio station only plays commercials
150) Everyone you meet hates you after you try to pin a nametag to their chest.
151) Your first child is a round yellow smilie head, and everyone comments how "He looks just like his Dad".
152) If when you are suffering from a cold or the flu, you still manage to make it out of bed so that you can log on to palace and send messages to PUG.
153) If you and your palace buddies mysteriously get ill at the same time.
154) If when your computer has been in the shop for an upgrade for several days, you stop by to see how things are proceeding, and have the computer hooked up temporarily to the net just to log onto The Palace for a little while to get your much needed fix.
155) When you start quoting from the addicted to palace list.
156) When watching TV, you can recognize every font used by a show or commercial. (especially that "Comic Sans MS" font used in the word "everyday" on those Toyota truck commercials.)
157) You just found out your spouse is probably cheating on you. You sit him/her down the chair and go ahead and ask him/her. He/she panics and lowers their head in shame, trying to find an excuse. You think "of course, he/she could be lagging real bad".
158) You recieve a snail mail from a close palace friend that must be addicted as well cause its addressed to....Spunky, Spike, and sweetie, she knows our 15 month old daughters name, and it comes to your mail box without question.
159) You recieve a snail mail and ask someone to decipher the proper english and grammar contained in it because you are so used to broken sentences and multiple periods and smiley faces that without those you cant read it.
160) You walk up to your neighbor and ask where they live.
161) You have a hat that has your name in blinking letters.
162) You go outside and say "wow this is a nice gif".
163) When you're playing hide-n-seek you look for Ctrl+ F.
164) When you pick up a magazine to look through and instead of looking at the articles you look at the ads for possible prop material.
165) When you are looking through a magazine in your doctors office,find an ad with a pic that would make a wonderful prop, look around to make sure no one is watching and then quickly tear the page out and shove it in your purse.
166) When you are traveling and you find yourself looking at the pictures on billboards thinking "that would make a nice prop, too bad it's so big".
167) You spend your Sunday mornings, when you can, at the flea market, buying up HUGE piles of picture books... once you've examined the contents for scanning.
168) You buy a polaroid camera so you don't have to wait for your pictures to be developed before you can scan them in and make props.
169) You buy a special panoramic camera so you can get a picture large enough for a room picture.
170) You get out all your old snapshots and start seperating them into piles--"Props", "Room Pics", and "Naw, No Good".
171) You buy a "frame grabber" so you can make a prop from a vacation video you made back in '79.
172) You go out of town on business and stop at every phone booth along the way to plug in your lap top, log on and post to PUG.
173) You visualize a 'blondie' when someone dear does you a good turn.
174) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check Main to see who is at the Gate on the way back to bed.
175) You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 5.0 or higher".
176) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
177) You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap.. and your child in the overhead compartment.
178) You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
179) You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
180) All of your friends have an @ in their names.
181) Your cat has its own home page.
182) You check your e-mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
183)Instead of singing a song, you draw little musical notes and recite the lyrics.
184) You hear a doorbell and immediatly check your computer to see if someone is whispering to you before you check if someone is at the door.
185) You make coffee and put it in a thermos on the computer desk to save trips and ensure you don't miss something.
186) You stay up all night setting macros so that you will be ready to play the next day.
187) You see any yellow ball in RL and automatically think "Guestie".
188) You harp on your mother for months to get a computer so that you can show her this really neat program called "Palace",so she won't think you're crazy for staying online almost all the time.
189) Your children start playing Palace and they have never been on a chat program before.
190) You and your spouse fight over the computer during your favorite palace's prime times. You get a second computer and then the kids take over so it is decided that you MUST have a 3rd computer to solve all the problems.
191) Instead of doing your homework that is due the next day you have to just check to see who is online. Three hours later, you realize the homework is not done.
192) The doorbell rings and your dog barks at the computer.
193) You're the owner of a cologne company and while palacing one night you're desprately trying to come up with a new name for the new scent about to be released...you come up with...AVATAR FOR MEN.
194) You start hoping they will come out with AVATAR FOR WOMEN, even though you don't wear cologne...just so you can have a bottle!
195) While reading or looking thru magazines or books and are always on the lookout for pictures to use for avatars, you see one that would be perfect, but then you notice a crucial portion has been cut off. You immediately become depressed.