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12 Aug 1999
Remote User:


I've seen some stupid stuff in my time, but I think the new computer by eMachines has got to take the cake. God Bless Apple Computer for the incredible comeback they've had, I've always said that the key to their sucess would be to bring Steve Jobs back... Anyway, the eOne computer has got to be the biggest fraud of all time! The machine is a total rip-off of the iMac and ISP's are already having customers buy them, thinking they they are iMacs. Don't get me wrong, but I think that they (eMachines) needs to make sure that these TOYS are properly represented in the stores. Let me sum it up this way...

Salesman- "Can I help you sir?"

Customer- "Yah, I'm looking to buy one of these iMacs!"

Salesman- "Well sir, you see, this isn't an iMac, it's a cheap piece of FUCK called eOne by a company that owes the credit of all sales to stupid shits like you, that can't distinguish the words 'iMac' from 'eOne'!!"

Customer- "Are you saying I can't read?!"

Salesman- "I'm not saying that at all sir, I'm saying that you are CHOOSING not to, I'm quite puzzled as to why! Could it be lazyness, or are you the type of person that will walk right into a door that says 'Pull' or 'Sorry, We're Closed', and then have the nerve to look at the door and wonder why!!?!"

Of course at this time you will see the customer is infact just another egotistical, self-centered ass that is too damn lazy to take the time out of his/her busy schedule to READ the little sticker (usually at eye level, mind you)that trys to warn you of something you're about to do.

I think I'm done now...


The following comments from our original site, we apologize that it's taken so long to fix this problem.  We thank everyone that has taken the time to tell us what they think about our web site, and we apologize that the script stopped posting your messages in Febuary of 1998. -sysop


I'm amazed at the arrogant attitude this site projects. You were a newbee once too at one point and didn't know squat about computers. You had to learn just like everybody else,and I'm sure you annoyed somebody with your ignorance too. The Internet is a tool and it takes time to become proficient at it just like anybody else. I've never owned a PC in my life. I'm on a (dreaded)WebTV right now,but on it I've become quite fluent in HTML programming. It's not the Machine,it's the ability to use it. My web site has over 1 and a half million hits and has won several programming and design awards. Instead of being a prick and starting some "Anti-Idiot Ring" crap I built a page of useful resources aimed at people who wanted to learn. It's an insult to everybody who earestly has an interest in this medium that this site exists. If you don't like newbees then turn off the damn PC and do something else. You are more of a detriment to the medium than people who really want to learn.
Johnny Ratbastard <>
Washington, DC USA - Feb 6 1998

Okay, so if you get your wish and only the "computer and internet geniuses" are allowed on the net, and the "stupid newbies" are forever banned, then eventually you geniuses will get old and die, and the whole internet will die with you. Everyone, even you, started out by learning. Just because you know more than some people about the internet does not mean you own it. And if you hate your job so much, QUIT!!!!! Everyone gets stupid questions once in a while, but that's no reason to insult people or start a campaign to keep them away.
Denise <">>
USA - Feb 2 1998

I work for NCSU engineering department's computing center, and I have had to put up with all sorts of helpless newbies. These people are generally nice people who are stuck. However, the true idiots of the web are the ones that take an offensive attitude towards help, or fail to be observent to what's going on around them. A story: This morning, a server crashed and had to be rebooted. One professor called in and said he had gotten a message that the server was going down for reboot and needed to save his work. However, because of the server error, no one could write to the hrad drives. So this professor (who took a considerable amount of time to understand the concept of "server error"), begins yelling at me that he needs to save his work. I tell him that he cannot save it on the hard drive, does he have a floppy. The response? "No." I ask him if he thinks it would be possible to locate a floppy disk to save his work. He refuses to go look, and then begins berating me because of his inabilty to save his work. I apologize and explain that it was no one's fault (including myself). This man muttered at me that he was going to lose a whole morning's work (to which I nearly responded, "save more often"), and promptly hung up on me. I guess the moral (or whatevr) of the story is that it's not the ignorant people who need to be kicked off the 'net (hey, we all were newbies once), it's the really offensive and generally unobservent that need to be shoved behind a firewall and sealed off from the rest of the world.
Jeni <>
Raleigh, NC USA - Feb 2 1998

I think not only should idiots be kept off the net, but trolls should be, too. (trolls = people who go around starting fights on the internet, in case any of you haven't heard the term before) I once posted to a newsgroup about a web-page I had made to show drawings I had done on my computer. Some of the drawings were based on one of my favorite computer games: Mechwarrior. And even though I had a large very-readable message saying I had done all these drawings by hand this troll/idiot insults me and says something about me xerox copying these from a game manual. I guess this is more of a troll-story then an idiot story, but I really think one of us needs to start a fire-ribbon campaign to stop all the people who just troll about on newsgroups all day starting fights. I used to think that ignoring trolls was the best solution but I'm starting to think that the only way to get rid of the problem is to have parents keep their little brats off the net. Anybody got any other good ideas on how to get rid of all these trolls?
USA - Jan 30 1998

To all of the world out there. Email is not that important, you can live without it and start reading the license agreements for things like "Entertainment Purposes Only" it short it means, don't run your business on it because it may not work all of the time!!!
Borrowed Existence <>
Dallas, TX USA - Jan 28 1998

I've been teaching j-random intro-PC classes to grandmas who want to understand what their grandkids are talking about. When they graduate they get a certificate that basically says 'I can use software now. Yay!' I got into it in college when 3 nice 80+ ladies sat down in a "BASIC programming" class,(visual basic) and on the third day asked the professor, 'what is windows?' After class I took them to the CS lab, sat them in front of a PC and asked them to turn it on. Blank stares in return. ACK!! Two of them had recently bought computers, and had taken the class thinking BASIC meant intro. I went through proper channels and got a non credit course going. I wouldn't expect any of my 'graduates' to install their own hardware, but then, most people can't change their own oil. ----- So for all you people bitching about idiots, I AGREE. AOL should have never gotten TELNET access, and every harry dick named tom who has his baby pictures and life story online should be shot without a blindfold. The only difference between me n you (with few exceptions) is that I'M doing something about it. This technology is NOT going away anytime soon. If you don't vote, don't bitch about the government (i don't vote, NYAH!). Either pitch in or shut up. ------
Megabyte Romm <">>
USA - Jan 26 1998

Grammar. G-R-A-M-M-A-R Not like Kelsey Grammer. Good grief. Many posts have been about non-Internet issues, but the crux of the matter is that people are wasting bandwith, time, and money by getting online without proper training. Bravo to the chrome ribbon campaign!
95newbie <>
Charlotte, NC USA - Jan 22 1998

Let us not forget that the internet is an international medium. Many of it's users speak "English" as a second or third language (or not at all). I doubt many out there speak "Portuguese" or "Korean", I know I can't. So, cut our brothers and sisters from around the globe some slack. ---Shout out to ZerO, the Brazilian Mo'Fo'. Relax, talk to Bob. peace.
gweedo <">>
Seattle, WA USA - Jan 21 1998

Dallas, TX USA - Jan 20 1998

To Ali, Hello Ali, Yes I agree with you in some points. The spelling mistakes are bad, and should not happen. However many of us don't care enought to proofread all the shit we type on this sad internet world. And that's what the netreally is... A new world, a new thing. Something that you're not born with... Like a car... You got to buy one, and then if you don't learn how to drive, you gotta pay to learn or pay a driver to move your ass around. So the same should happen when you buy a computer. Either learn how to drive it by yourself, pay for learning classes or have someone running the sucker for you... So, yes, it sucks if dunno, and yes I didn't know shit when I started, but you know what I did. I FUC*** READ!! AND THAT'S HOW I LEARNED!!! So, Ali, you know what's up because your smart ass read a lot to learn what you know now, didn't ya'?? And the problem we have is with the PPL THAT DON"T READ..... SOME PPL HERE CAN'T WRITE, BUT WE SURE DID SOME READING...So YES FU** DAMN LAZY ASS PPL THAT THINK THAT IF THEY BUY A PACKARD BELL AT BEST BUY THAT MACHINE WILL DO THEIR TAXES AT THE END OF THE YEAR, AND IF IT DOESN'T THEY CAN CALL US TO FIX IT.... NOT!! Sorry for the rudness, but you say what you say cause you don't have to answer the stupid questions that some of us here have to... So LET US BITCH cause if wasn't for our "lame, no skill typing asses" you're ass wouldn't even be online right now.... If you have something to say about something you don't really know about... SHUTTA FU** UP! Don't say it, cause we really don't want to hear it..... PS: Don't take it personal... Zer0 Peace!
Dallas, TX USA - Jan 20 1998

A word to the wise: PCs and "The Clapper" are not compatible technologies... ...yet. Beware of door-to-door WebTV salesman.
gweedo <">>
Seattle, WA USA - Jan 20 1998

Too many people have been fooled by slick advertising that the internet is a utility much like the phone service or electric service to which so many of us have become accustomed. BUT IT IS NOT A UTILITY YOU IDIOT ENDUSERS! It is, at best, a friggin collection of bug-ridden computers, routers, and switches that depends on literally thousands of highly trained technicians to keep running as poorly as it does. Next time your ISP breaks, for whatever reason, if you know its the ISP or the internet, there's no need to call! They know the problem 99.9% of the time either when you discover it or even before. GIVE THEM TIME! Calling and bitching won't help. And lastly... Learn to keep up with traffic on the info highway or become roadkill!
Ben <">>
Dallas, TX USA - Jan 19 1998

I just wanted to say something, too.
USA - Jan 19 1998

This is a response to Ali....Yes we LEARNED how to use computers, and yes we don'tknow everything there is to know about computers, andyes we may even have poor grammer and spellinghabits, but we don't hold a universal contempt forall endusers, or even all endusers who call in totech support, or even, dare I say it, those enduserswho are ignorant. We have contempt for thoseendusers who are stupid and, more importantly, eitherobnoxiously or obvliviously so. The differencebetween an ignorant enduser and a stupid enduser isthat an ignorant enduser just doesn't have theknowledge about a subject. I personally, before Ibegan doing tech support, had never seen the networkcomponents list, and I have been "online" for overthree years. However, after being shown and taughtwhere those components are and what they do, I now amno longer ignorant. A stupid end user is someone whoneither possesses the knowledge nor the capacity touse it or, worse yet, refuses to use that knowledge. It is the people who patently refuse to absorb anyinformation that is presented to them (either in hardcopy in the form of a manual [which, to be honest,even I find to be a total mystery] or, better yet, acomputer help program or a class), and those whocannot use the common sense that God gave them tolearn a little bit about the incredibly expensive andcomplex machines they are sitting in front of. Theseare the customers we belittle and consider to wasteour time. How much less energy does it take to bepolite and intelligent rather than angry andbelligerant. Instead of asking what a cookie filedoes and why it is named that, and then ACCEPTING theanswer, or how they can download FREE parentalcontrol software to screen out offensive material,many customers would rather rant and rave in a highlyoffensive manner to their isp or computermanufacturer how they think that we, as their"ambassadors' to the INTERNET" should ensure thatthey are not subjected to "inside jokes" and filthysmut. Why do customers have to assume that justbecause they have our software on their computer, orare doing something while connected to the web andget an error message, that it is automatically ourfault. Why is it that customers call over and overagain with the exact same errors, or even worse, callback with the same problem just so they can get atech to tell them something that they want to hear,that the last tech wouldn't tell them (no it is not aproblem with your modem/conventional memory/videocard/etc., but a in fact it is a problem with oursoftware. Here let me give you 2 free months' worthof credit.). Stupidity is what we as techniciansdespise, not people who are willing to learn (atalent that I am informed most small children andeven infants possess)how to use the technology.Sorry to rant, but I think that our side is getting abit of a bad rap from all ends and we need to beunderstood.thank you,Sean McIverISP Technical Support
Sean McIver <">>
USA - Jan 15 1998

These are all from personal experience, and are 100% true: 1) You are supposed to dial the ISPs tel #, not your own2) It's normal for asterisks to appear in the password field3) There is no "hacker trick" that will let you check your mail without a modem, no matter what your boyfriend told you he can do.4) You can't delete Yahoo!, no matter how much you hate it.5) We will not credit you because you are a dumbass and called our server in Kazakistan for five hours.
Rev. Scat Warfare <>
Dallas, TX USA - Jan 15 1998

Here is a story for you all. My ex-boyfriend Jason thinks he has computers ALL figured out because he can use AOL. He crashed my computer at two different times due to downloading stupid crap that wanst compatible with my system. AOL should die a painful death. Let the loosers and wanna be techies have it...TAKE BACK THE NET!!!!As for what happened to Jason? He met a 14 year old girl online..(he is 25) had an affair with is now facing charges of abuse.
Corin Lindber <>
SanBruno, CA USA - Jan 15 1998

Yah, you go Ali...You are a hero to anyone that buys a computer from Radio Shack!I'll be sure to mention you in my new line of books"Komputer Lernin' Made Easy""Komputer Lernin' -Radio Shack Edition""Komputer Lernin' -AOL 'Idiot Haven"Sammy "P-Funk Pocket Fulla Pennies" Templeton
Sammy Templeton
USA - Jan 15 1998

Okay, all you computer "experts" need to get a clue. This is 1998, not 2098. Computer technology is somethingfairly new. Not everyone knows all about computers.Remember, you LEARNED how to fix computers. You didn't just wake up one morning & *BAM* know things like what IRC means. Most of these people you guys are bashing are new to a computer, work a job that doesn't relate to computers, and try to get online stuff figured out in their small amount of spare time. If it weren't for their insolence youguys would be out of a job. But, this is what's really sad.These people call you & ask for help because they somewhat revere you for knowing so much technology garb. You guys write & complain about their stupidity while makingcareless errors in spelling and grammer on your petty little posts. Um...think about it. Proper English, not computer competence,is something everyone is taught in school. And you guys can't even get that right. Who are the idiots here?ali
Ali <">>
USA - Jan 15 1998

I'm not old enough for a job, so I try to help out the people wanting to use chatrooms online. This person and I were doing this through email. He got to a room he wanted, and emailed "What do I do?" and I said type in a handle.He said he typed in "a handle" but people thought that was pretty dumb. I explained to the twit that a handle was the name and eventually he caught on. The dimbulbs of this Earth!
Kiwi <">>
USA - Jan 12 1998

I have mixed feelings on the subject. If a person is willingto learn what their problem is, even if they don't know jackabout it, then they're okay. If they go demanding left andright about something they don't know jack about, saying thatthe people who know something about it don't, those are thepeople that shouldn't have a computer.
Matt <>
USA - Jan 7 1998

I work as a computer lab monitor at a college. I walked into the lab and buddy was directing the mouse arrow on the screen with the mouse. Litterally! He had the mouse against the glass of the monitor and was jiggling it around.I was stunned, I was speachless. My mind was so out of wack all I could here from my brain was "Danger Will Robinson!".Buddy grinned up at me, "Not so hard once you get the hang of it!" and continued to scroll about the desk top with his less traditional mouse manipulation.
Sal Vage <">>
Ottawa, On Canada - Dec 12 1997

This is my "I can't believe this person is this dumb" call of the week! Anyway, I ask her "ok ma'am do you have 2 phone lines in your house" and she come back and says " UUHHH NO!" Then I said "Ok then I'm gonna have to let you go soyou can dial out and get connected" and then she says "Oh! well my Computer has it's own line can you stay on with me just to make sure I get connected?" Me,Puzzled at this point cause she just told my she didn't have 2 phone lines, does something stupid and says "Oh Ok i'll stay on the line, but I thought you said you didn'thave a 2nd line thats why I was gonna let you go" And then she goes "Oh! well we don't use it for regular phone calls so it's not really a Phone Line" Thats when Ijust gave up and stopped asking questions! Luckily she got connected and I cut her loose.
Jimmi <">>
Atlanta, GA USA - Nov 27 1997

I love it when something happens with the customers' computeror the phone company, and customers can't log in. That meansthey are going to be looking for a credit or a refund for theamount of time that they couldn't use the service. Here's whatI propose that we all do.ISP 'Customer service how can I help you?'Customer 'Yah, I can't dial in.'ISP 'Yes sir, we know, the phone company is working on somethingand they know about it, and are trying to fix it. It's notyou, it's the phone company.'Customer 'Well, I can't use the service, I want a refund or a credit.'ISP 'What amount of time were you unable to use the service?'Customer 'Oh, I'd say 4 hours.'ISP 'Ok, there is an average of 720 hours in one month, and youpay $19.95 per month, so you're asking for us to credit youraccount in the amount of twelve cents. We'll mail thatout to you today!'Customer 'Uh, (realizing how selfish and self centered he is)nevermind.'ISP 'Ok, take care now, bye bye.'See how easy it is? Then are left to sit there and fester inthier own selfish greed, trying to get something for nothing. --DENIED!
Fellow Tech <">>
Frumpy, YO USA - Nov 21 1997

Guru's know nothing about computers!!One of my friends had a "guru" come over and install somescreen savers and guess what . . . DELETED ALL of her screensavers!!!!!! I think this "guru" also deleted almost all of hergames. This makes me glad! I will always have a job fixingwhat some moron "fixed" BTW I love MIDI's!
USA - Nov 15 1997

Guru's know nothing about computers!!One of my friends had a "guru" come over and install somescreen savers and guess what . . . DELETED ALL of her screensavers!!!!!! I think this "guru" also deleted almost all of hergames. This makes me glad! I will always have a job fixingwhat some moron "fixed"
USA - Nov 15 1997

What I find hilarious is people who think spellcheck solves all their problems so they turn in their papers with "They're was won old Mann inn china." It obviously means, "There was one old man in China," which isn't even true (there are lots of old men in China) , but it's pretty dumb to think your computer is omnipotent. You may as well not have a spelling checker at all. Another thing I think is dumb is displaying your e-mail address on any old guestbook that comes along, I mean who knows what sort of trojan horses and the like you can get? Pretty stupid. I hate working for tech support.
Samantha <what kind of idiot puts email in a guestbook?>
Noodleville, State of Confusion USA - Nov 10 1997

If correct spelling and grammar were requirements for not be labeled a "moron" here everyone who has written is obviously microcephalic. Let me just point something out to all you self-proclaimed technical superiors. If it weren't for people who don't know what they are doing YOU WOULD BE OUT OF A JOB!!!! As a technical/software instructor I have my own stories to tell but that certainly doesn't give me the right to belittle others. If everyone was able to replace their own sprk plugs in their cars (a simple thing to do) many a mechanic would starve. So everyone just quit whining, get thankful for these "morons" and do your job without all the condescension. If you don't like what I have to saywhy not email me about it!!
Lawrence Larson <">>
Davis, CA USA - Nov 6 1997

Okay, I agree. I mean if you have a computer, YOU should learn how to work it. Its not that hard. Get yourself some books, read the books that come with the comp. I'm sure if a 14 year old can figure out how to use one anyone can use one. Right? I've lived around the things my whole life but only, oh I guess two to three years ago did I ever start using the things. I got into things, figured how to make them do what I want them to do, even before my dad (a private computer consultant) could figure them out. so I think everyone should have to take some sort of class on computers, unless they are willing to READ, and boy do I mean read. I should know, I've read enough books on computers, that its amazing. So thats it. BAN THE IDIOTS FROM USING COMPUTERS!
LA USA - Oct 24 1997

I do not work for an ISP, but I was a PC technician for6 years, and have been a System Administrator of a 120-user network for 3 years. I also help support usersin a plant in Texas, and in 2 plants across the border.We have recently given all computer-using employees fullweb access, and the stories do get interesting. I verymuch support proper training. I also support good manners,and proper grammer. I hope you'll notice that I haven'tpeppered my comments with slang and curse words.
Hal G. Truitt <>
Columbus, MS USA - Oct 17 1997

I went to a Idiots house to fix there computer they had a system that had a 4 gig system that was full. first off he had crap everywhere on it he did not know how to organize files. he download a buch of files on the net and had know idea that you haveto decompress them he thaut that you download them and boom they work!What a dumb ass! oh well I got $150 for the job from him!
Butt Head <>
amarillo, tx USA - Oct 16 1997

The best is the people who you see in IRC/BBSes/usenet/etc asking how they can "get on the net" or "start surfing the web". Best advice for them: Hold down the Ctrl and Alt keys while they hit the Del key. That will solve everybody's problem.
Divide By Zero <">>
Ann Arbor, MI USA - Oct 2 1997

OK, what the hell is it with all these damn web pages that play midi music in the background. Do they think this is professional??? Take the god-awful crap off your web page. PLEASE!!!!!!! I really don't want to hear Chariots of Fire for the eighth time today!
Bridgeton, MO USA - Sep 30 1997

After explaining this to her and also explaining that she had given us her account info when we had built her machine and installed her 'internet' shethen accused me of wanting her info to steal her credit card number... talk about paranoia...Basically we ended up telling her to either a) bring us the mqachine and info and we would make itwork for her or b) bring her machine and the original boxes for a full refund, with which she was more than welcome to use towards the purchase of a new Packard Bell. She gave us the infoand shes been happily surfing ever since...only took 3 hours.<">> Here, MO USA - Sep 29 1997

Thank you for FINALLY standing up and saying what's needed to be said for a few years now. People who can't install their own external modem shouldn't be issued accounts, PERIOD!!! Kick 'em all off!!!! Steve Parker Detroit, MI USA - Sep 28 1997

I personally don't appreciate this. This is discrimination. Maybe I will start up my own page "Idiots on the Net". That will show you!!!! "Beavis" USA - Sep 22 1997

It only gets better. I used to work for a local ISP, and we got some of the biggest idiots around who decided they needed to be "on Internet". They'd download files (through Netscape's click-and-get, don't expect them to handle FTP), and forget where they saved it to, and call us and ask us where they saved the file. Call and ask how to make this picture they downloaded their desktop wallpaper.And when Windows95 really got big, there were the real "experts" who just re-ran the Windows 3.1 installation kit, and killed off their 32-bit WINSOCK that comes with 95, and then they'd call and bitch about not being able to get any of the 'for Windows95' internet software working. Suda Nym Somewhere, VA USA - Sep 17 1997

The only thing worse than the hoards of clueless idiots who own computers, is the clueless idiots who think they arecomputer guru's. Being a technician, I run into their systems all the time. "I tried installing my own CD-ROM and now the system won't boot!" Open the case, flip the backwards IDE cable over, $35 please. People have no idea what jumpersare, thinking if they throw any old card in, it will work. Plug and Play cards are set to conflict with other cards,and the owner has no idea why it doesn't work. The amount of blown motherboards, bent floppy/hard drive pins, broken simmsockets, and destroyed cards is amazing. People bring in their external modems and zip drives, claiming they "never got a power pack." The ABSOLUTE worst case was when a deaf kid brought his system in, saying it had a cmos problem. He had super large hearing aids so you had to almost shout at his face for him to understand you. After looking at his packard bell, it took us 20 minutes to finally get him to admit that after the system stopped booting, he intalled ezdrive AND Disk Manager over top of each other. Explaining the whole thing to his mother, who was very clueless too, they left. 20 minutes later, whenthe owner left and I was about to leave, the kid came back and babbled something about "It's a cmos problem ... he doesn't know what he's talking about.. i'm not going to pay that kind of money I'm going to do it myself" and took the system. I understood halfof what he said, because his speech was so bad, being deaf. 3 days later he brought it back and said "Is it bad if you drop the powersupply?" He said he was inside the system, and then the power supply fan would stop spinning when plugged into the mother board. WhenI looked at the machine the next day, the first thing I noticed was that the chip was rotated 90 degrees incorectly in the zif socket.His motherboard was blown sky high. Post locked, not going anywhere. His mother came in with him a day later, bitching up a storm aswe explained everything. She asked him 3 times if he had turned the chip and he denied it, then she tried to blame us for blowing upher sons computer. Then she practically broke down saying "I don't understand why people spend $1,500 on computers and then haveto throw it away!!!" after a rather loud and violent fight the kid started saying over and over again "i'll fix it myself, I'll fixit myself!!" and when we offered them a deal on a new case and new motherboard (luckily his chip was still fine) he refused to agreeand finally ran out screaming incoherantly. Please, no more self appointed guru's! Brian Jones Balif@Nacs.Net> Cleveland, Oh USA - Sep 9 1997

Ok... so I get his woman complaining that her machine won't connect to the ISP... She _claims_ to have talked to tech support who told her to go into her network properties and remove all protocols bound to her dial up adapter (yeah... right) I tell her thats she's dicked and that she needs to bring her machine in... She's fine with that since I told her it would be under warranty, however she refuses to give me her logon and password, claiming that i was going to "steal her unlimited access time"...The funny thing is, I live in a complete different area code form her with my own _free_ DS3 account. After explaining this to her and also explaining that she had given us her account info when we had built her machine and installed her postnet she then accused me of wanting her info to steal her credit card number... talk about paranoia...Basically we ended up telling her to either a) bring us the mqachine and info and we would make it work for her or b) bring her machine and the original boxes for a full refund, with which she was more than welcome to use towards the purchase of a new Packard Bell. She gave us the info and shes been happily surfing postnet ever since...only took 3 hours. Brad> Waterloo, IL USA - Sep 3 1997

I agree that only the technically oriented should be allowed on the netI was once asked why we didn't supply a modem with each account.The woman then proceededto berate me and say I was in collusion with the local computer store and wanted her to spend all her moneyand didn't I know she was on a fixed income and the like.I have now learned that the worst thing to hear on the phone is "I just got this computer from my kids can you help me" Anonymous USA - Aug 28 1997

True story: I used to work with a woman who was less than bright. She had never used a computer with a GUI and a mouseand couldn't make the adjustment despite attending orientationclasses. One day I walked by her office and she called me in to help with a problem. She had the cursor in the middle of the monitor and the mouse was physically near the end of thedesk closest to her. She wanted to move the cursor down the screen but had run out of deskspace to roll the mouse! In disgust, I said "You have to pick it up and move it!" A fewminutes later, heading past her office again, I looked inand saw her waving the mouse in the air, about a foot off the surface of the desk. She had literally "picked up" themouse and was moving it! Jim Kratzok NY USA - Aug 6 1997

Once when i was helping my freind, i told him that we were going to make a backup copy of a file we (over the fone) were fiddling with he said, "oh you mean to one of those little a drive thingys" and i said yeah a to a disk. He said, "but i dont have any blank disks, but i got some of those little a drive thingies" i said "what do you mean," he said "one of those little square ones with a door" i said "yeah thats a disk" he said " no a disk is a CD you idiot". I said, "NO a CD is a CD a disk is a square a drive thing." he then called me some unprintable things and told me how stupid i was.. and hung up on me.Later he called me back and said, "oh um i was wrong... now how do i do this make this thing go back." CD or Disk? USA - Jul 28 1997

Not too long ago, some farmer asked me what the wheel with the sunpicture (his fricking BRIGHTNESS CONTROL) did, and why it made thescreen darker. Then he asked if using it would damage his computer. Iexplained to him what it was, and he said "Boy, they think up somethingnew every day!". Soon after that, however, he got pissed off because hecouldn't figure out why he couldn't get on the internet with hisspeakerphone software. He then decided to trade his computer in for atractor. I swear I am not making any of that up. :) .... USA - Jul 28 1997

I would like to know who lets some of these lusers near a computer... I have to support Internet Exploder, of all things, and more often than one would like to think possible get users who install the program and expect it to work right out of the box.... Even though they don't have an ISP or even know what a modem is!!! Where do these lusers get their driver's license for the Information Superhighway? I am assuming either from a Cracker Jack box, or from AOL, which probably came from a disk they found in a Cracker Jack box. Brian Lutz> Redmond, WA USA - Jul 26 1997

I had a woman, call our provider, whining that someone at our ISPcaused the entire providers' domain to be banned from Starlink (one of the50 thousand irc servers out there). She is just all burned up becauseshe doesn't have the common sense to just use a different irc server.I tried to tell her that "there's nothing that we can do about it" - (we don't care).I finally got so pissed off, I looked at starlink's domain, andgave the woman the admins' personal phone number and she seemed happy.The next day, SHE calls back. She talked to the admin's wife(apparently he was out of town). The woman gave Mrs. Admin an ear-full.Mrs. Admin explained that she didn't know anything about computersand really didn't care. They had a nice little argument, from what I understand.Once again, she started giving me her tale of woe, about howshe can't get on the irc, and how we (our isp) should do somethingabout it. I advised her (once again) that we don't monitor, administer,contact, resolve arguments, etc with irc servers. I tried to tell herin a pleasant voice, to TRY ANOTHER SERVER.She is averaging one call per day, and she tries to talk to a newperson everyday. This is the type of person that her only joy in life,is letting her mis-behaving rug rats run loose, her husband works his ass offto support them, while she sits there on the irc flirting withpeople she'll never meet, and if they saw what type of personshe really, would want nothing to do with her.LOSER! Irc Idiot USA - Jul 18 1997

You mean I can right click with the mouse now ????Here is my favorite story to tell from when I was in the Navy.(This Is no BS either)ME: DP Shop, What's the Problem?Stupid Yoman: I need you to come down here and look at my printer.ME: Can you give me more information. What is the printer doing wrong ?SY: It says it's jammed, on the little screen [my favorite statement, like it's a little kid or something].ME: Ok, I'll be there in ten mins.TEN MINS LATER...........I open up the printer and find a 3.5 floppy diskette in the starting rollers of the manual feed chute on the printer.ME: Why is there a floppy in the printer ???? (puzzled)SY: I was trying to print a label on the disk.Even when someone is properly trained (if you callmilitary training proper)they are still morons!!! 'like old people with cars, get the idiot's off the net and computers for that matter.DUH!!!!!! Former Navy Technician Alameda, CA USA - Jul 18 1997

What? How the hell does this work? Can you see what I'm typing? Hello! I'm gonna hang up the phone now! Junior Newbury> Silex, MO USA - Jul 15 1997

A customer just called to see if her account was active.Her exact words were "We ordered email to be installed on ourcomputer, and we were wondering if it was ready". What the hell is that?I guess they thought the internet fairy sprinkled some pixie duston thier computer. Customer needing a clue.... USA - Jul 15 1997

Customer calls up "I can't get connected". No kidding.They have a Windows 3.1 machine, and the serial port was too slow.The fastest it would support was 9600. Hahah.. When I tell him this,he, of course, wants to talk to a supervisor. Apparently badnews isn't believable unless it's from the highest possibleranking bearer of bad news. These people, don't realise that theyare being taken for a ride, when they buy a machine from:Best Buy, Circuit City, Sears, Wal-Mart, Radio Shack, or any otherretail store that "also sells computers". Yah, my nextcomputer, I'm going to buy, at the same place I could get a greatdeal on a new set of tires, and a washing machine. Friggin' People USA - Jul 15 1997

Where do these people get their jobs? I talked to a woman who said she was a system administrator for her company and she had to ask me where the Modem Properties were in Win95. Go fig..... Anonymous USA - Jul 15 1997

When these want to get on the internet, don't they understandthat they have to dial in first? I suppose that the computerwill pull the internet right out of thin air..."Oh I have to dial in first?" NO, not at all.. If you needto go the store, do you just look at the car, and then ask"well?! Where are the groceries!?"These people need to have their computer taken away. No Dialtone? USA - Jul 15 1997

Someone actually brought in a PC to Best Buy, and complained becausethe "coffee cup holder" broke. When I asked her what she was talkingabout, she says "this", and hits the open button on her CD-ROM drive.When I stopped laughing, I explained to her that she was using herCD-ROM drive as a damn coaster, and that It'll only cost $500 tofix it, and that she should buy a set of coasters to avoid this wholefiasco repeating.--Some people! Ticked Off Tech USA - Jul 14 1997

I'm sick and tired of people calling with speaker phones.People don't stop to think that they are going to sound likesome fool, making an order in a drive thru.All you have to do, is put THEM on speaker phone and talkquietly. When they whine because they cant hear you,tell them "well, I switched to speakerphone, so I could useboth hands on the keyboard. They will soon make the connection.Another thing, don't they know how to put the phone between theirear and shoulder. That tends to free up a hand.DUH! Anonymous USA - Jul 14 1997

18 Nov 2001
Remote User:


Thanks for making this guestbook available!

29 Dec 2001
Remote User:


You need to give your mouth a rest about the Emachines. I have Emachines, a Dell and a Compaq and they are all working great. Never whine about emachines!

25 Sep 2002
Remote User:


I've never been to a site that hits the point better that yours!!!

30 Sep 2002
Remote User:

Comments shooting hunting supplies nice site

03 Nov 2002
Remote User:


Great Site! I'm Helen. I really like your site content, it's usefull and informative. Now I am working for online store selling <a href="" style="text-decoration:none"><font color="#000000">discount inkjet printer cartridge</font></a>. I find your site while searching for related sites and It's a pleasure to sign your guestbook. Thanks and Good Luck.

The Chrome Ribbon Campaign "Keep the idiots off the net!".
Copyright 1999 by The Chrome Ribbon Campaign. All rights reserved.
Revised: 03 Nov 2002 05:08:11 -0500.

The Chrome Ribbon Campaign "Keep the idiots off the net!".
Copyright 1999 by The Chrome Ribbon Campaign. All rights reserved.
Revised: 03 Nov 2002 05:08:11 -0500.