Family Guy Episode Guide
First unseen episode that lasted about 15 minutes.
101/1ACX01: Death Has A Shadow
Written by Seth MacFarlane, and directed by Peter Shin; Guest voice: Pat Summerall. First aired 31 January 1999 after the Superbowl.
Against strict orders from Lois, Peter drinks profusely at his buddy's bachelor party. After showing up at work hung over, Peter gets fired. When he applies for welfare, they accidentally send him a check for $150,000, which leads to a spending binge. When Lois discovers the truth, Peter attempts to return the money to the taxpayers by dumping it from a blimp at the Super Bowl. But when he is arrested, his family must come to the rescue.
102/1ACX02: I Never Met The Dead Man
Written by Chris Sheridan, and directed by Micheal Dante DiMartino. First aired 11 April 1999.
While teaching Meg to drive, Peter crashes into a satellite dish and knocks out the city's cable. He goes crazy without television, until Lois suggests he spend more time with his family. This plan backfires when Peter drives the family nuts. Meanwhile, after Lois forces Stewie to eat his broccoli, he attempts to destroy all vegetables by building a weather control device.
103/1ACX04: Chitty Chitty Death Bang
Written by Danny Smith, and directed by Dominic Poicino. First aired 18 April 1999.
Lois is furious with Peter when he allows Meg to attend a party the same day as Stewie's first birthday. Unbeknownst to Meg, she's actually attending a cult meeting and when Peter brings her back home, the cult leader follows. Stewie recognizes the leader as the man who wants to return him to the "ovarian bastille."
104/1ACX03: Mind Over Murder
Written by Neil Goldman and Garrett Donovan, and directed by Roy Allen Smith. First aired 25 April 1999.
When Peter goes to Chris' soccer game, he inadvertently punches a woman he thought was a man. Restless under house arrest, Peter turns the basement into a bar and Lois ends up stealing the show. Meanwhile, Stewie attempts to create a time machine to avoid teething pain.
105/1ACX05: A Hero Sits Next Doors
Written by Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman, and directed by Monte Young. First aired 02 May 1999.
When a bubbly new family moves next door, Peter gets annoyed. Lois becomes fast friends with Debbie, Meg tries to pick up on son Kyle and Peter is forced to invite Joe to play on his company baseball team. But when Joe shows up to the game in a wheelchair and wins the crowd's hearts with his slick maneuvers and winning plays, Peter decides he wants to be a hero too.
106/1ACX06: The Son Also Draws
Written by Ricky Blitt, and directed by Neil Affleck. First aired 09 May 1999.
Chris is booted from the Youth Scouts, so Peter takes the family to the Big Apple to get him reinstated. But when Peter takes a wrong turn, they end up at a Native American casino where Lois hits the slot machine once too often. Peter must embark on a vision quest to prove he has Native American blood to save the day. Stand-up comedian Bobby Slayton makes a guest voice appearance as Lenny, the pit boss.
107/1ACX07: Brian - Portrait Of A Dog
Written by Gary Janetti, and directed by Michael Dante DiMartino. First aired 16 May 1999.
Peter persuades Brian to swallow his pride and enter a dog show to win some extra cash. But when they argue over a trick gone bad, Brian decides he's had enough of being a second-class citizen. His struggle to assert his civil rights lands him on death row at the pound, where he discovers every dog has his day.
The second series of Family Guy began on Fox in the US on September 23rd 1999. This second outting for the Griffin's introduces some more risky humour, and some fantastic episodes with it. This series has been full of interruptions as the future of Family Guy was looking dark, thankfully Fox saved it from cancellation in July 2000.
201/1ACX08: Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater
Written by Chris Sheridan, and directed by Jeff Myers.
When Lois' wealthy aunt dies unexpectedly, the Griffins inherit her extravagant mansion. Although his family doesn't want to relocate, Peter is eager to enter the ranks of the upper classes and moves them onto the estate. Revenue from the sale of the Griffins' old house goes to the live-in servants, who haven't been paid in months. Caught up in the spirit of his new social standing, Peter bids ten million dollars at the Historical Society for a work of art, offering to trade his mansion for the piece. It is revealed, however, that the mansion used to be a whorehouse and is not worth any significant amount. A commoner once again, Peter finds that his family still loves him.
Transcript (Rob Pengelly)
202/1ACX11: Holy Crap!
Written by Neil Goldman and Garrett Donavan and directed by Bob Jaques.
Peter's dad is forced to retire from the mill. A stern workaholic, the elder Griffin does not take retirement well. When Peter and Lois suggest that he come spend some time with them, Peter's dad agrees, and Peter gets excited at the prospect of bonding with his father. But the new living arrangement doesn't go according to plan: In addition to being a workaholic, Peter's dad is also a control freak. He tells the children what TV shows they can watch, tells Peter how to spend his free time and instructs Lois on how to raise the kids. Peter decides that the best way to get closer to his father is to bring him along to the toy factory, but this plan also backfires. Peter's boss is impressed by the retiree's work ethic and hires him as a foreman, ensuring widespread misery at the plant. After Peter's dad increases work hours and implements strict rules, Peter is desperate to make him quit, and tries to convince him to participate in a plot to kidnap the Pope. The Pontiff is also impressed by the retiree's ambition, and offers him yet another job.
203/2ACX06: Da Boom
Written by Neil Goldman and Garrett Donavan, and directed by Bob Jaques
Peter is paranoid about the end of the world and makes the family cancel all their New Year's Eve '99 plans. For once, he is right about something: On January 1st, 2000, bombs destroy every structure in the world, except for a surprisingly sturdy Twinkie factory. The Griffins set out to find the factory, but along the way Stewie is kidnapped by a band of mutants. The episode ends with Victoria Principal telling Patrick Duffy that she just had a dream in which she saw a crazy episode of Family Guy.
204/2ACX01: Brian In Love
Written by Gary Janetti, and directed by Jack Dyer. Guest Voice: Sam Waterson.
After cleaning up more than few pee stains around the house, Lois thinks it may be time to potty-train Stewie. Stewie, outraged that he's being blamed for the carpet stains, totally resists Peter's efforts to train him. Meanwhile, Brian knows the truth - that he's the one responsible for the "accidents." Mortified, he continues to blame Stewie, until an accident in the grocery store reveals his messy little secret. Brian goes to a therapist (Guest Voice: Sam Waterston) who suggests a European (you're-a-pee-n?) vacation to ease Brian's stress. Not until he returns from his travels does Brian realize the true source of his problem - his secret crush on Lois!
205/1ACX13: Love Thy Trophy
Written by Mike Barker & Matt Weitzman, and directed by Jack Dyer.
When their Who's the Boss float takes top prize in the Quahog Harvest Day Parade, the neighborhood literally goes to war over who gets custody of the trophy. Meanwhile, in an effort to get big tips at her new waitressing job, Meg tells customers that Stewie is her illegitimate crack baby. When family services investigates, and finds the Griffin home in the middle of a war zone, they take custody of Stewie. Once everyone finds out that Stewie's in foster care, the neighborhood declares peace and plots a rescue mission.
206/1ACX14: Death Is A Bitch
Written by Neil Goldman and Garrett Donavan, and directed by Bob Jaques. Guest Voice: Norm MacDonald.
After Lois discovers a lump in Peter's breast, he lands in the hospital. He's okay, until the whopping bill arrives! To avoid payment, Peter fools the hospital into thinking he's dead. As a result, Death pays a visit to the Griffin home. While Stewie is excited to meet his idol, the rest of the family doesn't want Peter to go--especially Peter! A chase ensues and Death is injured. While He recuperates, Peter is forced to take over Death's unpopular duties.
207/1ACX15: The King Is Dead
Written by Craig Hoffman, and directed by Monte Young.
Lois is named the new artistic director of the Quahog Players theatre group and decides to direct The King and I as her first production. Peter wants to be a star and becomes such a nuisance that Lois makes him a producer to get him out of her hair. He goes on a major power trip and soon wrestles total control away from Lois, kicking her off the production team all together! Peter soon realizes his vision by turning the musical into a racy cyborg battle, complete with bikini-clad dancing girls.
208/2ACX02: I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar
Written by Chris Sheridan, and directed by Monte Young.
Peter starts telling inappropriate jokes at work and a female coworker sues him for harassment. Forced to go on a retreat for women, Peter resists at first. After two weeks, however, the effects of female bonding kick in and Peter becomes a sensitive male. Back at home, no one finds Peter's new "female" behavior charming, least of all Lois. Sure, the cuddling in bed is nice, but when Peter tries to breast-feed Stewie, Lois starts getting annoyed. When they both attend a women's charity dinner, Lois and the guest speaker get into a knock-down, drag-out fight--and Peter gets so turned on by the "chick" wrestling, he snaps out of his female phase.
209/1ACX12: If I'm Lyin' I'm Dyin'
Written by Chris Sheridan.
When Peter's favorite show, Gumbel 2 Gumbel, faces cancellation, he takes drastic measures to save it. Using Chris as bait for "The Make-A-Dream-Come-True" Foundation, Peter tells them that Chris' dying wish is that the show be renewed. But when the Foundation arrives to check up on Chris' "tumorsyphillis-itis-osis", Peter panics and tells them that Chris was miraculously cured. Word spreads of the "miracle" and Peter becomes the "Miracle Healer of Quahog." Of course, Peter loves the attention and Lois thinks it's immoral to live such a lie. When the Griffins become mysteriously plagued by everything from locusts to bloody bathwater, Lois forces Peter to end the charade.
210/1ACX09: Running Mates
Written by Garrett Donavan and Neil Goldman, and directed by John Homquist.
Lois decides to run for the school board, which thrills Stewie who will be somewhat unsupervised during her campaign. Lois runs unopposed until Peter joins the race in order to get his favorite teacher reinstated. He immediately starts negative campaigning that spreads lies about Lois and shows sexy photos of her.. His tactics work and Peter is elected. His first order of business is to replace the hall monitors with robots. Ultimately, his new policies backfire when Peter allows Chris to bring porno mags to school and protests erupt. Peter must publicly apologize in order to win Lois back and save face with the town of Quahog.
Transcript (Rob Pengelly)
211/2ACX07: A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Bucks
Written by Craig Hoffman, and directed by Gavin Dell.
During a birthday visit to Funland, Peter runs into a former classmate who founded the amusement park. Peter starts to think he won't have a great legacy like Funland to leave once he dies. Chris gives Peter a painting to cheer him up, and Peter sells it to a New York gallery for five grand. Deciding that Chris is his only hope for a legacy, Peter moves the family to New York so Chris can become a famous artist.
212/2ACX08: Fifteen Minutes Of Shame
Written by Steve Callaghan, and directed by Scott Wood.
In an effort to up her popularity, Meg has a slumber party. However, the night is disrupted by the embarrassing antics of both Lois and Peter. Mortified, Meg takes the family on a talk show where they are "discovered" by network execs. The Griffins become a TV sensation when they are followed around by cameras 24-hours a day in a show called "The Real Griffins." Soon after the show's premiere, executives decide that Meg is too boring and have her recast with a slutty teen girl.
213/2ACX12: Road To Rhode Island
Written by Gary Janetti, and directed by Dan Povenmire.
When Stewie begins causing trouble at his grandparents' house in Palm Springs, Brian offers to go across country to bring him home. But as Brian drinks in an airport bar, Stewie manages to lose the airline tickets, forcing them to road trip back to Quahog. Along the way, they stop at the puppy mill in Austin where Brian was born. After finding out that his mother has died, been stuffed, and now serves as a table, Brian and Stewie manage to steal the table (er, Mom) to give her a proper burial.
214/2ACX04: Let's Go To The Hop
Written by Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman, and directed by Glen Hill.
When the kids at Quahog High discover that licking toads will get them high, Peter poses as a student at Meg's school to narc out the young offenders. But the undercover work goes a little too well -- Peter soon finds himself the big man on campus, living the high school life he always wanted but never got. Next thing you know, Peter's going to the big school dance with Meg's rival Connie, the most popular girl in school.
215/2ACX09: Dammit Janet
Written by Mike Barker and Matt Weitzman, and directed by Bert Ring.
Fearing that Stewie has no social skills, Lois places him in daycare. Stewie hates the bureaucracy of the playground until he sets his eyes on doe-eyed toddler, Janet. While he tries various ways to impress her, he finally wins her over by sharing his cookies.
Meanwhile, Lois now has nothing to do all day so Peter talks her into becoming a flight attendant. Peter's ulterior motive is to take advantage of the free travel - and he promptly starts abusing the privilege. When Peter and Lois land on the same flight, Peter's game is over! Unfortunately the plane is highjacked and forced to land in Cuba, where Peter and Lois remained stranded. After a trip to the local black market, the gain passage back to the U.S. on a lifeboat filled with refugees.
216/1ACX10: There's Something About Paulie
Written by Ricky Blitt, and directed by Monte Young.
Peter buys a new car, but the sale goes terribly wrong. Peter meets a mobster whilst drowning his sorrows in the local bar and the mobster offers to help him out. In return Peter takes the mobster's nephew (Paulie) to the movies.
217/2ACX10: He's Too Sexy For His Fat
Written by Chris Sheridan, and directed by Glen Hill.
Due to Brian's embarrassing flea problem, the Griffin's move into a hotel while the house if fumigated. Lois and Peter soon discover that Chris has been skipping gym class because he's self-conscious about his body. Peter tries to talk Chris into getting liposuction, while Lois starts preparing him special low fat meals. Stewie starts taunting Chris by eating everything in sight, and starts packing on the baby fat.
Even though Chris isn't up for surgery, Peter decides to go for it. The new, svelte Peter has Lois all hot and bothered. Peter loves the results of his lipo and decides to have some work done on his face. The new, handsome Peter starts getting all sorts of special treatment: at the gym, at the grocery store, even from total strangers. Lois doesn't like the new Peter's attitude, especially when he joins "The Beautiful People's Club." Karma catches up to Peter while he's on his way to the club. Unable to take his eyes off himself, Peter plunges his car over a cliff. The nasty fall - and subsequent crash-landing into a large vat of lard - leaves him horribly disfigured (ie: back to normal).
Transcript text file (James G)
218/2ACX13: E. Peterbus Unim
Written by Neil Goldman and Garrett Donovan, and directed by Rob Renzetti.
It's tax refund season, and everyone's cashing in except Peter! Tired of watching his neighbors buy expensive toys, Peter decides to get an accountant that can net him a profit. Satisfied that the new CPA will get him a huge refund, Peter announces to the family that he's going to use the money to put in a pool.
While excitement at the Griffin house grows, Peter goes to get a building permit. He's shocked to learn that the city codes do not allow swimming pools. Outraged, Peter digs deeper (so to speak) and learns that the county has no record of his land. Armed with this new info, Peter decides to declare his land a country and make himself the president!
219/2ACX14: The Story On Page One
Written by Craig Hoffman, and directed by Gavin Dell.
After an interview at Brown University, Meg realizes she needs more extra-curricular activities to gain entrance to this prestigious school. She joins every club and even tries cheerleading, but fails miserably at them all. Finally, she decides to join the school newspaper.
Her journalism career goes nowhere, until Peter fabricates a story regarding actor Luke Perry. Peter writes a gossipy article, but uses Meg's byline. When the article is published it creates a sensation, because Peter claimed Luke Perry was gay. Meg and Peter soon become embroiled in a headline-grabbing lawsuit when Luke sues them for defamation of character.
220/2ACX15: Wasted Talent
Teleplay by Mike Barker and Matt Weitzmann, the story is by Dave Collard and Ken Goin, and was directed by Bert Ring.
When the local brewery has a contest offering tours of the plant, Peter and his friends go on a drinking binge trying to find the winning beer can. Through a stroke of dumb luck, Peter and Brian actually find one of the winning "scrolls". In a Willy Wonka homage, Peter and Brian start the tour, but are quickly kicked out after breaking the rules.
Meanwhile, Lois's students have a big piano recital/competition coming up - and Lois is praying one of her students wins. She thinks she's got a lock on it when she signs a new student, Ling, a piano prodigy. However, in her enthusiasm, Lois works Ling too hard and she drops out! In an odd twist, Peter - in a drunken stupor over being booted from the contest - sits down at the piano and plays brilliantly! Lois is thrilled and keeps Peter drunk long enough to win the piano recital.
221/2ACX16: Fore Father
Guest Voices: Patrick Warburton, Nicole Sullivan and Phil Lamarr. Written by Bobby Bowman and directed by Scott Wood.
After a father-son camping trip, Peter realizes how irresponsible Chris is after raccoons steal their food and their car. Back at home, Peter gets Chris a job at the local golf course to try and teach him to be more responsible. Chris is content to just pick up golf balls, until he discovers that Peter has entered the father-son golf tournament, with Cleveland Jr.!
Discouraged that Peter is focusing all his attention on Cleveland Jr., Chris rebels by hanging out with Quagmire at strip clubs. Ultimately, Cleveland Jr. abandons Peter who recruits Chris at the last minute. However, when they lose, Peter must deal with an angry group of gamblers who put money on Cleveland Jr. Despite all the recent heartache, Chris gives his dad his first paycheck in order to save his butt!
301/2ACX17: The Thin White Line
Written by Steve Callaghan, and directed by Glen Hill.
Searching for meaning in life, Brian decides to devote his time to helping others. Using his keen sense of smell, he gets a job with the local police department and becomes the top-dog - until his nose gets him into trouble.
[Airdate: July 11th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
302/2ACX20: Brian Does Hollywood
Written by Gary Janetti.
In the conclusion of a two-part story line, Brian leaves Quahog for Hollywood in order to write films. When the Griffins visit him in Los Angeles, he desperately takes the first job offered to him in order to impress them - and finds himself directing a adult film. Faced with fame and loneliness in his new field, Brian realizes that every dog needs a home. Stewie goes on "Kids Say the Darndest Things".
Guest voices Jenna Jameson as Herself and Niki; Ron Jeremy as Himself; Ray Liotta as Himself.
[Airdate: July 18th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
303/2ACX11: Mr. Griffin Goes To Washington
A conglomerate buys Happy Go Lucky Toys and installs Peter as president. The conglomerate also owns a tobacco company, and before long Peter is on his way to Washington to testify before Congress on the benefits of smoking.
Guest voices include Gary Coleman and Alyssa Milano (as themselves).
[Airdate: July 25th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
304/2ACX19: One If By Clam, Two If By Sea
Peter and his mates catch a beer-besotted version of the “Spirit of '76” when a Brit buys the Drunken Clam and turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie plays 'Enry 'Iggins to Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter.
[Airdate: August 1st 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
305/2ACX22: ...And The Wiener Is
Meg makes the flag-girl squad at James Woods High. That's “almost a cheerleader,” she boasts, but it doesn't impress the cool kids. Meanwhile, Peter develops a severe case of Chris-envy.
Guest voices include Fairuza Balk, Patrick Duffy and Debra Wilson.
[Airdate: August 8th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
306/2ACX21: Death Lives
An episode featuring Death (now officially voiced by Adam Corrola).
Peter pays a price when he plays golf on his anniversary---he's struck by lightning. The Grim Reaper, who guides Peter through his “near death experience,” which leads to a “revelation” concerning Lois. Also, Peter offers the Reaper dating tips.
Guest voices include Peter Frampton, Chuck Woolery and of course Adam Corrola as Death.
[Airdate: August 15th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
307/2ACX18: Lethal Weapons
With a few tae-jitsu lessons under her black belt, Lois turns herself into Quahog's answer to Xena, cutting a wide swath through the hordes of obnoxious leaf-peeping tourists from New York. But soon her violent ways begin to hit home.
Guest voices include Michael Chiklis, Johnny Brennan, Peter Gallagher, Thomas Dekker and D.D. Howard.
[Airdate: August 22nd 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
308/3ACX02: Kiss Seen Round The World
Meg gets an internship at a TV station. It's a dream job...because she thinks the station's male anchor is dreamy. But it turns nightmarish when the station's other intern, “the biggest dork on the planet,” gets a crush on her. Meanwhile, a bully steals Stewie's tricycle.
Guest voices include Hugh Downs and Abe Vigoda (as themselves); Adam West (Mayor West); and Michael Chiklis (Cartooney Crewman and Mechanic).
[Airdate: August 29th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
309/3ACX04: Mr Saturday Knight
Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, dies suddenly (at the Griifins' house, as it happens), and the toy factory dies with him. Not surprisingly, Peter's “career transition” is less than smooth. Then he decides to follow his 25-year-old dream and become a jouster at Quahog's Renaissance Faire.
Guest voices include Will Ferrell as the Black Knight, Charles Durning as Francis and Adam Carolla as Death.
[Airdate: September 5th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
310/3ACX05: Fish Out Of Water
Still out of work and now grotesquely overweight, Peter finally decides to find his true calling: fishing. He doesn't have the money to buy a boat so he goes to a police auction and overbids on one. Peter visits a loan shark and unwittingly signs a contract that will put him in debt forever. When Peter finds out about a mythic fish with a price on its head, he realizes that it's his best way of getting all his money back and his now repossessed house and possessions. Peter and the guys set out to catch Daggermouth, the man-eating bluefish. They go out and find the fish, only it turns out to be a robot. He collects the cash and gets everything back.
Meanwhile, Lois tries to cheer up Meg because she wasn't invited anywhere for spring break. Lois takes her to a beach party and Meg gets jealous of all the attention her mom is getting. When it becomes too much to bare, Meg decides to flash all the spring breakers. Lois and Meg consequently get arrested.
[Airdate: September 8th 2001 21.30 ET/PT]
3ACX01: Emission Impossible
Peter and Lois visit Lois' sister Carole who is alone and pregnant since her husband walked out on her. While at the house, Carole goes into labor and Peter is forced to deliver. Overwhelmed by the experience, Peter and Lois decide to have another baby. A shocked and appalled Stewie however, makes it his mission to stop any conception whatsoever.
Through varied attempts and schemes, Stewie is able to avoid any colloidal collisions between Peter and Lois, but when they lock him out of the room, he's forced to go into emergency mode. Stewie shrinks himself down to microscopic size and seeks out his new sibling (sperm-brother) inside Peter's body. Instead of killing his unborn brother, they hit it off - bonding over the desire to destroy Lois. Stewie leaves Peter's body with the new hope that his brother to-be will soon join him in his attempts at world domination.
Guest Voice: Wallace Shawn (from The princess bride, and Toy Story)
[Airdate: November 15th 2001]
3ACX09: To Love and Die in Dixie
When Chris Id's a convenience store robber, his family is placed in the witness protection program and sent down to the Deep South for their own protection. There, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. When the town puts on a reenactment of the Civil War, reinventing history by having the South come away victorious, Peter questions the truth and the town turns against him. Because of Peter's "slander," Sam's father forbids Sam from seeing Chris. Upset, Sam kisses Chris on the mouth. Although flattered, Chris tells Sam that he's doesn't like him in a physical sense.
Back in Quahog, A FBI agent accidentally tells the convenience store robber the location of the Griffins. At a party in the Deep South, Sam reveals to Chris that he's actually a girl. The robber arrives in the town and is about to kill Chris before the town residents step in and stop the thief.
Guest Voice: Waylon Jennings.
[Airdate: November 15th 2001]
313/3ACX08: Screwed The Pooch
Brian admits to Peter and Lois that he has had a lot of sexual yearnings lately. Lois suggests that Brian join them on their visit to the Pewterschmidts for a change of scenery. In the meantime, Peter is determined to pick up the Pewterschmidt culture. Peter starts to impress Mr. Pewterschmidt, but all is for naught when he accidentally unties a knot while sailing.
When Brian sees Mr. Pewterschmidt's dog, Sea Breeze, he loses it and attacks her. The doctor informs them that Sea Breeze is okay, but is pregnant. When Mr. Pewterschmidt refuses to let Brian near Sea Breeze or her litter, Brian sues Mr. Pewterschmidt for custody of the puppies, but only if he gets neutered. While Brian is in one room ready to be neutered, Sea Breeze is in another about to give birth. Just as Brian is about to neutered, Lois rushes in to save him and tells him that Sea Breeze gave birth to another breed and thus saving Brian from fatherhood.
Guest Voice: Bob Barker.
[Airdate: November 29th 2001]
314/3ACX06: Peter Griffin - Husband, Father...Brother?
Chris gets a new job as the water boy for the basketball team. After being around the black players, Chris becomes a super-cool black dude in a white person's body. Cleveland takes Chris to learn about his own Irish heritage at a museum. Chris later visits a library to look up his genealogy and is elated to discover that a black man (Nate Griffin) was part of his family. Peter tries to embrace his black culture by visiting a black theatre and club, but he doesn't get it. When Lois' parents visit, it is revealed that the Pewterschmidts' ancestors owned Nate Griffin. The Pewterschmidts' give Peter money to alleviate their guilt. Soon Peter begins to suffer the discrimination of being black.
While at a basketball game, Peter looks in the mirror and he sees Nate, who shows him that he has been selfish. Peter announces to everyone in the gym that he was a jerk for taking the money. He throws the cash in the air, and everyone scrambles to get their share, showing that all races are unified by greed. Meanwhile, Stewie plots to get rid of the head cheerleader so he can be on top of the pyramid.
[Airdate: December 6th 2001]
315/3ACX07: Ready, Willing & Disabled
Joe compete's in the Special People's Games.
[Airdate: December 20th 2001]
2ACX03: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
Lois loves the holiday season and is excited about decorating the house, opening presents and introducing Stewie to Santa Claus. Stewie, on the other hand, is completely paranoid about this fat man in a red suit who can somehow maintain 24-hour surveillance on all the world's children!
Peter, sent to drop off one gift to Toys for Toddlers, accidentally gives all the family's presents to the charity. When he and Lois hit the mall to rebuy everything - they are caught up in the last-minute shopping madness. Lois and Peter are completely frazzled, but Lois clings desperately to the hope that they can still have wonderful Christmas. That hope is dashed, however, when they arrive home to find Brian, the house and the Christmas turkey burned to a crisp. Lois finally snaps and goes on quest to snatch the star from atop the city's huge Christmas tree. Only Stewie's motivational speech as the baby jesus (and a tranquilizer gun) can bring Lois back down to earth.
Guest Voices: Kiss as themselves
[Airdate: December 21th 2001]
317/3ACX03: Brian Wallows & Peter's Swallows
When Brian is arrested for drunk driving, he's forced to do community service, which consists of helping Peggy, a middle-aged, agoraphobic, bitter woman. Brian gets so fed up with her insanity, that he storms out of her house. Later, Brian watches a television documentary that reveals Peggy's past as a top advertising jingle singer of the 1950s and 60s. Brian warms up to her, realizing where her pain comes from, and eventually she warms up to him too. He convinces Peggy to actually go outside, but she gets by a bus. While on her deathbed, Brian and Peggy share a fantasy intimate moment, but as they are about to kiss, she dies.
Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and learns that a swallow has nested inside it. He wants to shave it off but can't when he finds out the bird is an endangered species. Peter eventually grows attached to the bird and starts feeling maternal. Lois is finally able to convince Peter to let the bird fly away and also teaches Brian about moving on with his life after Peggy's death.
[Airdate: January 17th 2002]