The AX Report 2001
by Xoth, Master of Black Magic
Character Descriptions
Here is where I get to make stuff up about my fellow FFML/AXers and wildly exaggerate their character traits. In keeping with the theme of anime, I’ve also thrown in my crappy image manipulations. If you can guess whom I’ve chosen to turn each FFMLer into, then you get the Duh Award for Anime Newbies; after all, I wasn’t about to scour Japanese websites for the latest and/or most obscure anime characters.
Xoth
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Age: 22
Height: 5' 8" (3' 2" SD) Weight: 128 (really) Blood type: red DBZ Power Level: 75 Weapon of choice: Rubber chicken Special attack: Elastic Poultry Whip Lash Quote: “Nothing like the smell of a 10,000MegatonNuclearExplosion spell in the morning.” That’s me, the pretty Black Mage Sailor Xoth, back for my third FFML-AX meeting and my second report about it. I’m an Asian-American male with a degree in art history and pretensions toward being an artist. Never let it be said that I can’t laugh at myself—in most cases. |
Mabis
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Age: 21
Height: 5' 6" (3' SD) Weight: Guess. Blood type: 55-65% plasma DBZ Power Level: 355 Weapon of choice: Explosives Special attack: Detonator Quote: “You can learn many things at anime conventions. For example, at AX2001, I learned that Angemon can dance.” Master writer of fanfiction. She has a habit of using explosives on that which displeases her, such as idiotic fanboys and -girls, Walmart or the nation of France. Note: Just a disclaimer. No anime fans, Walmarts or French people were harmed in the making of this FFML/AX meeting. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the entire group. Threaten me if you must, but I have restraining orders ready, and I’m not afraid to use them. |
Daran
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Age: 23
Height: 5' 8" (3' 3" SD) Weight: I'm not telling! =ppPPppPPpp Blood type: human DBZ Power Level: 205 Weapon of choice: Baseball bat Special attack: Orbital Body Launch Quote: “Super Bass Sound will make you the Prisoner of Dance!” Everyone’s favorite wacky gender-confused (or -confusing) fan...-person. Keeper of Instant Gayness and the legendary Magic Orgasm K-Y. He’ll, err, she’ll—it'll make homosexuals out of us yet! (Uhh—yeah. You heard me...... *runs*) Note: Though many anime characters don’t have hair colors found in nature, I’m not exaggerating his hair color. He did dye it purple. Not exactly cosplay, but it’s more than I’ve ever done. |
Pyxie
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Age: 22
Height: 4' 11.5" (2' 4" SD) Weight: 110 Blood type: crimsonish-vermillion DBZ Power Level: 25,000 Weapon of choice: Baka mallet Special attack: Head Whomper Quote: “Lodi...CAMERA!!! Lodi...help me with my costume! Lodi...do this do that. Lodi...I love you. ^.^” The all-powerful mistress of the Anything Goes School of Sexual Arts. Yep, she’s got a huge harem, magical powers, and a variety of anime/video game-themed disguises which she uses in order to mingle with us lowly mortal otaku. (To those of you who are clueless, yes, I’m talking about cosplay.) |
Pokey
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Age: 24
Height: 6' 3" (4' 4" SD) Weight: 165 Blood type: platelets, red and white cells, and plasma DBZ Power Level: 500 Weapon of choice: Heavy boots Special attack: DDR Combo Stomp Attack Quote: “Arr matey!” Pyxie’s boyfriend, lover, manager and pimp. Err, scratch a couple of those. But he really is Pyxie’s little—or rather big—Dutchman. And a huge DDR fanatic as well. Huh? What pun—ohh. Well, fancy that. What, you didn’t think that was intentional, did you? ;D |
Golbez
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Age: 18
Height: 5' 8" (3' 2" SD) Weight: 175-180ish? Blood type: the kind preferred by vampires the world over DBZ Power Level: 1,250 Weapon of choice: Mad 1337 dancing skillz Special attack: Hypnotic Hip Shake Quote: “time to kick it to some anime... OLD SCHOOL! *gangsta-like handsign* ('nother guy pops in) ‘Word!’” Friend of otaku everywhere, he has an extensive video library, games galore, and all the hardware an anime fiend would need: VCR, PSX, S&M—err, whoops. Well, anyway, he also has the fastest dancing feet this side of—something which...has sides. Yeah. So no wonder he's such a DDR whiz. :) Anyways, an all-around cool guy, not nearly as evil as his namesake. |
Locke
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Age: 20
Height: 6' 0" (4' SD) Weight: 160 Blood type: sanguine DBZ Power Level: 275 Weapon of choice: Knife Special attack: Steal (what else?) Quote: “???” Locke, the world-famous master thief and ladies’ man. Plus, he will 0wn j00 at any Capcom fighting game. Beware and ph34r him, lest he come and steal away your treasures and women—or just your collection of Capcom games. Note: He’s no thief. He’s much too nice for that. But he does possess 1337 gaming ski11z. |
Bahamut X
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Age: 20
Height: 6' 7" (4' 9" SD) Weight: 240 Blood type: Not blue DBZ Power Level: 500 Weapon of choice: His size Special attack: Magic Dragon Bodyslam Quote: “We went half way across Chicago in the wrong direction!!” The only person I know of taller than Pokey. Not nearly as big as his namesake, but still pretty big. Yeah. He went to Anime Central with Locke and Spacecat, so he’s not exactly new to anime conventions. And he was perhaps the only person more obsessed with DDR than Pokey. ^_^ Well, assuming anyone COULD be more obsessed than Pokey. ;D |
Tenshi
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Age: 19
Height: 5' 8" (3' 4" SD) Weight: 125 Blood type: Ordinary DBZ Power Level: 350 Weapon of choice: Shotgun Special attack: Angelic Shotgun Blast Quote: “It doesn't matter—I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.”—Suicidal Tendencies Bahamut X’s girlfriend, and the list member at the get-together who joined most recently. She seems to have some cosplay experience, since she was the only one aside from Pyxie who actually made and brought costumes. Aside from that...well, I don’t know all that much about her. Sorry. ^_^;;; |
Piro
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Age: 14
Height: 5' 7" (3' 3" SD) Weight: 180 Blood type: wet and kinda sticky DBZ Power Level: 250 Weapon of choice: Chainsaw Special attack: Disemboweler Quote: “Uh, what? Huh?!... okay, I guess” No, not the Piro of Megatokyo fame (though that would have been nice, too). This is list member Hunter Morrison, a.k.a. Piro1 or Piro. He only stopped by for a few brief moments last year but ths year decided to stay for—a whole afternoon! ^_^ |
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