The AX Report 2001

by Xoth, Master of Black Magic

Character Descriptions

    Here is where I get to make stuff up about my fellow FFML/AXers and wildly exaggerate their character traits.  In keeping with the theme of anime, I’ve also thrown in my crappy image manipulations.  If you can guess whom I’ve chosen to turn each FFMLer into, then you get the Duh Award for Anime Newbies; after all, I wasn’t about to scour Japanese websites for the latest and/or most obscure anime characters.


Sailor Xoth
Xoth

.. Age: 22
Height: 5' 8" (3' 2" SD)
Weight: 128 (really)
Blood type: red
DBZ Power Level: 75
Weapon of choice: Rubber chicken
Special attack: Elastic Poultry Whip Lash
Quote: “Nothing like the smell of a 10,000MegatonNuclearExplosion spell in the morning.”

That’s me, the pretty Black Mage Sailor Xoth, back for my third FFML-AX meeting and my second report about it.  I’m an Asian-American male with a degree in art history and pretensions toward being an artist.  Never let it be said that I can’t laugh at myself—in most cases.


Team Rocket Mabis
Mabis

.. Age: 21
Height: 5' 6" (3' SD)
Weight: Guess.
Blood type: 55-65% plasma
DBZ Power Level: 355
Weapon of choice: Explosives
Special attack: Detonator
Quote: “You can learn many things at anime conventions.  For example, at AX2001, I learned that Angemon can dance.”

Master writer of fanfiction.  She has a habit of using explosives on that which displeases her, such as idiotic fanboys and -girls, Walmart or the nation of France.

Note: Just a disclaimer.  No anime fans, Walmarts or French people were harmed in the making of this FFML/AX meeting.  The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the entire group.  Threaten me if you must, but I have restraining orders ready, and I’m not afraid to use them.


Daran 1/2
Daran

.. Age: 23
Height: 5' 8" (3' 3" SD)
Weight: I'm not telling!  =ppPPppPPpp
Blood type: human
DBZ Power Level: 205
Weapon of choice: Baseball bat
Special attack: Orbital Body Launch
Quote: “Super Bass Sound will make you the Prisoner of Dance!”

Everyone’s favorite wacky gender-confused (or -confusing) fan...-person.  Keeper of Instant Gayness and the legendary Magic Orgasm K-Y.  He’ll, err, she’ll—it'll make homosexuals out of us yet! (Uhh—yeah.  You heard me...... *runs*)

Note: Though many anime characters don’t have hair colors found in nature, I’m not exaggerating his hair color.  He did dye it purple.  Not exactly cosplay, but it’s more than I’ve ever done.


Pyxie Sana
Pyxie

.. Age: 22
Height: 4' 11.5" (2' 4" SD)
Weight: 110
Blood type: crimsonish-vermillion
DBZ Power Level: 25,000
Weapon of choice: Baka mallet
Special attack: Head Whomper
Quote: “Lodi...CAMERA!!! Lodi...help me with my costume! Lodi...do this do that. Lodi...I love you. ^.^”

The all-powerful mistress of the Anything Goes School of Sexual Arts.  Yep, she’s got a huge harem, magical powers, and a variety of anime/video game-themed disguises which she uses in order to mingle with us lowly mortal otaku.  (To those of you who are clueless, yes, I’m talking about cosplay.)


Pokey Rei
Pokey

.. Age: 24
Height: 6' 3" (4' 4" SD)
Weight: 165
Blood type: platelets, red and white cells, and plasma
DBZ Power Level: 500
Weapon of choice: Heavy boots
Special attack: DDR Combo Stomp Attack
Quote: “Arr matey!”

Pyxie’s boyfriend, lover, manager and pimp.  Err, scratch a couple of those.  But he really is Pyxie’s little—or rather big—Dutchman.  And a huge DDR fanatic as well.  Huh?  What pun—ohh.  Well, fancy that.  What, you didn’t think that was intentional, did you? ;D


Golbez—er....
Golbez

.. Age: 18
Height: 5' 8" (3' 2" SD)
Weight: 175-180ish?
Blood type: the kind preferred by vampires the world over
DBZ Power Level: 1,250
Weapon of choice: Mad 1337 dancing skillz
Special attack: Hypnotic Hip Shake
Quote: “time to kick it to some anime... OLD SCHOOL! *gangsta-like handsign* 
            ('nother guy pops in) ‘Word!’”

Friend of otaku everywhere, he has an extensive video library, games galore, and all the hardware an anime fiend would need: VCR, PSX, S&M—err, whoops.   Well, anyway, he also has the fastest dancing feet this side of—something which...has sides.  Yeah.  So no wonder he's such a DDR whiz. :)  Anyways, an all-around cool guy, not nearly as evil as his namesake.


Locke Lupin III
Locke

... Age: 20
Height: 6' 0" (4' SD)
Weight: 160
Blood type: sanguine
DBZ Power Level: 275
Weapon of choice: Knife
Special attack: Steal (what else?)
Quote: “???”

Locke, the world-famous master thief and ladies’ man.  Plus, he will 0wn j00 at any Capcom fighting game.  Beware and ph34r him, lest he come and steal away your treasures and women—or just your collection of Capcom games.

Note: He’s no thief.  He’s much too nice for that.  But he does possess 1337 gaming ski11z.


Totoro Bahamut
Bahamut X

.. Age: 20
Height: 6' 7" (4' 9" SD)
Weight: 240
Blood type: Not blue
DBZ Power Level: 500
Weapon of choice: His size
Special attack: Magic Dragon Bodyslam
Quote: “We went half way across Chicago in the wrong direction!!”

The only person I know of taller than Pokey.  Not nearly as big as his namesake, but still pretty big.  Yeah.  He went to Anime Central with Locke and Spacecat, so he’s not exactly new to anime conventions.  And he was perhaps the only person more obsessed with DDR than Pokey. ^_^  Well, assuming anyone COULD be more obsessed than Pokey. ;D


Tenshi Ayanami
Tenshi

.. Age: 19
Height: 5' 8" (3' 4" SD)
Weight: 125
Blood type: Ordinary
DBZ Power Level: 350
Weapon of choice: Shotgun
Special attack: Angelic Shotgun Blast
Quote: “It doesn't matter—I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.”—Suicidal Tendencies

Bahamut X’s girlfriend, and the list member at the get-together who joined most recently.  She seems to have some cosplay experience, since she was the only one aside from Pyxie who actually made and brought costumes.  Aside from that...well, I don’t know all that much about her.  Sorry. ^_^;;;


Piro Gundam
Piro

.. Age: 14
Height: 5' 7" (3' 3" SD)
Weight: 180
Blood type: wet and kinda sticky
DBZ Power Level: 250
Weapon of choice: Chainsaw
Special attack: Disemboweler
Quote: “Uh, what?  Huh?!... okay, I guess”

No, not the Piro of Megatokyo fame (though that would have been nice, too).  This is list member Hunter Morrison, a.k.a. Piro1 or Piro.  He only stopped by for a few brief moments last year but ths year decided to stay for—a whole afternoon! ^_^



Back to:

[ Intro ]

On to:

[ Day 1 ]        [ Day 2 ]        [ Day 3 ]        [ Day 4+ ]        [ Miscellaneous ]



[ Main ]        [ Reports ]        [ Photos ]        [ Memories ]

Disclaimer: This account contains a lot that could offend people.  Sexual content.  Drug use.  Profanity.  Violence.  Celebrations of Japanese culture.  Non-white people.  Crudely drawn pictures.  Sentence fragments.  If anything in this account offends you, find another web page. If your kid reads something that offends you, tell them to find another web page.  If you’re really ticked off by it, then e-mail “cosmic_chicken” at “excite” dot “com” so I can ignore you.  Certain characters, events, etc. referred to and depicted in this account come from Japanese animated films and television series and are copyrighted by their respective companies.  Whatever the SPJA and Anime Expo have copyrighted belongs to them.

The pages were designed in Netscape Composer at 832 x 624 resolution.