The AX Report 2003

by Xoth, Master of Black Magic

Day 1: Adventures in Otakusitting

    That morning, we got up for three important reasons.  First, because of opening ceremonies at 10 o’clock, and second and third, because Piro and Austin both showed up at our room that morning.  Unfortunately, we were caught a bit off guard by this development.  We let Piro in while SadSiren was, err, getting ready for the day, and—unpleasantness resulted.  Luckily Piro has a resilient skull, and we were more conscientious when Austin showed up a little later.  So despite a rough start, we smoothed things over enough so that we could go to the opening ceremonies with no lingering animosities.

Note: Yes, I lie; or rather, I exaggerate.  We weren’t entirely awake when they showed up, but no one was indecent, and no one was greeted by bodily harm.

As we headed up to the third floor of the Anaheim Convention Center, where the Main Events room was located, I got my first good look at the building.  I had been inside the Convention Center arena before, when it had served as the AX ’99 dealers’ room, but I soon learned that it was a relatively small part of the entire complex.  A vast foyer area ran parallel to the convention center’s exhibit halls and allowed natural light in through its glass-and-metal-framework façade.  The building had only three floors, but its ground floor was probably two stories high.  Additionally, the second and third floors did not extend all the way to the outer wall, and so in certain places one could look over railings into the levels below.  As in 1999, I found myself a little awed by my surroundings, despite all my previous experience.  However, soon I encountered a more familiar sight: a crowd of people, some in elaborate costume, waiting for admittance into the Main Events hall.  I had wanted to photograph more cosplayers this year, but since we were lining up, I was hesitant to get started then and there.  Siren must have noticed me uncertainly drawing my camera out my backpack, though, and before I knew what was happening she dragged me out of the line and over to various cosplayers and then cheerfully talked/coerced me into taking their pictures.

Siren’s answer to rude interruptions.

Note: Slight exaggeration there, but not by much.  She didn’t literally drag me around, but Siren did push me a bit to photograph cosplayers and I did meekly comply. ^_^  I probably could have made up something wackier, but eh, I’m tired. :P

    With the guests all introduced, all that was left was for the AX people to officially declare the start of the convention with the traditional painting of the daruma’s right eye*.  And with that, we headed off—but to where?  Surprisingly, not the dealers’ room.  No, our first goal was the AX Idol sign-up, as both Lorinan and Siren were hoping to show off their singing and/or voice acting talents to a panel of (mostly) professional judges and an audience of otaku.  Okay, next question: where was the AX Idol sign-up?  We searched high and low, far and wide, here, there, and everywhere for the priceless AX Idol, dodging hostile natives, deadly booby-traps, and dastardly Nazi agents.  At last we discovered the long lost Convention Center of Anaheim, and deep with in its ancient walls we at last found the sacred relic!  Then the Nazis caught up to us and overwhelmed us with sheer numbers, but their lust for power once again proved their undoing.  They tampered with forces beyond their understanding, and the idol unleashed its fearsome sorcery upon them.  As the defilers shrieked and perished in flame, Bahamut X snatched up the now-lifeless artifact and we fled the collapsing convention center, escaping certain doom by the skin of our teeth.  So once again, the world was safe.  Cue sunset; fade out.

Note: So maybe I haven’t lost my touch quite yet. :D  Yeah, we spent quite some time searching the convention center and our hotel for AX Idol sign-ups.  I forget exactly where we found them, but we must have, because Lor and Siren—whoops, just gave it away.  Look a couple paragraphs down for details.

Note: I hope I don’t need to point out what I made up in that last paragraph.  Even if Deeb and Scudguy had not arrived with enough time to drop off their luggage before the start of Idol (which I presume they had), I hope that relieving themselves of their burden would have taken precedence in their minds.  And even it had not, they certainly wouldn’t have been allowed to saddle ME with their burden. ;)

Simon relishes the opportunity to insult a whole new category of human beings: otaku.

Yet despite this obstruction, I was able to enjoy AX Idol—some of it, anyway.  As I mentioned earlier, Lor and Siren hoped to be among the participants, and sure enough they were.  Some contestants sang, and some acted or did dramatic readings; afterwards, they received criticism from a panel of judges: some of the guests of honor, two American voice actors, and one “fan judge” chosen from the audience.  Lorinan decided to test his musical talents, while Siren went the acting route.  I was pulling for them, to be sure, but ultimately I wasn’t able to truly get into AX Idol.  While music and voice acting are undeniably important parts of anime, I couldn’t really link what the contestants were doing with the convention experience.  Some of them tried, at least, by choosing songs or scenes from anime, but many didn’t even do that.  I almost felt as if I had left the convention and gone to a clinic for performing artists.  The judging also varied somewhat.  The professionals were, of course, professional, offering advice and some funny remarks.  However, criticism naturally tends to be more instructive than entertaining, and so it was in this case.  As for the fan judge, I sometimes sensed he was trying too hard to be witty and brutally honest (or honestly brutal), à la Simon Cowell.  But the most disappointing part of AX Idol 2004 was the fact that neither Lor nor Siren made it past the first round.  After learning of this, we responded in typical FFML/AX fashion: flip off the judges and ditch the joint.

    At this point, my memory gets fuzzy.  We might have been drugged and kidnapped by Disneyland spies in retaliation for the post-AX ’00 rampage.  Or perhaps it was some Nazis who escaped the idol’s wrath.  Then again, maybe I left to visit with my sister once more.  Though that last explanation is a bit fishy, I concede that it could account for why I did not record what happened after we left AX Idol.  Plus, it could explain why the next thing I remember is the others watching the Japanese live-action movie Battle Royale in the room, and not plotting our escape from a dank dungeon.  But of course, possible does not equal likely.  Anyways, however we ended up back in our room, Austin and Piro eventually left for a late night of gaming.  With that, I decided to turn in and rejuvenate myself; apparently, I hadn’t endured the torturer’s whip as well as I had initially thought.

    ...Wait a minute.  Whip?  (cue ominous music)

Note: Okay, I did not in any way mean to suggest that visiting with my sister was akin to torture.  No, seriously.  The kidnapping was just something I randomly thought up to cover my lack of more specific memories.  I like my sister, really; she bought me a digital camera. ;)

[ Intro ]        [ Day 0 ]

Onward to:

[ Day 2 ]        [ Day 3 ]        [ Day 4+ ]        [ Miscellaneous ]
 
 

* - For those of you not up on your Japanese customs, here’s the explanation.  A daruma is a rotund doll-like thingy with no pupils painted in.  A Japanese person will get one when he/she is about to begin an important endeavor to insure success; the right eye is filled in at the beginning, and the left is added once the deed is done.  The SPJA has thus made a tradition of getting a daruma for each AX, painting one eye at opening ceremonies and the other at closing ceremonies. [ Back to the top ]

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