BEER vs PUSSY
| 1. |
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. |
| 2. |
The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy. |
| 3. |
A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. |
| 4. |
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. |
| 5. |
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. Advantage: Draw. |
| 6. |
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy |
| 7. |
24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy. |
| 8. |
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy. |
| 9. |
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer. |
| 10. |
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer. |
| 11. |
6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy |
| 12. |
Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. Advantage: Draw |
| 13. |
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Pussy |
| 14. |
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Pussy |
| 15. |
With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer. |
| 16. |
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer. |
| 17. |
Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God. Advantage: Pussy |
| 18. |
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Pussy |
| 19. |
Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. Advantage: Pussy. |
| 20. |
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Draw |
| 21. |
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer. |
| 22. |
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: beer. |
| 23. |
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer. |
| 24. |
Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Advantage: Draw |
| 25. |
Good beer: Guinness, Big Daddy, Anything Kevin or Newt Makes Good pussy: Almost all but the above. Advantage: Pussy.  "I'll drink to that!" CAUTION: 
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