Today I will discuss why "Nice Guys" are actually low self-esteem losers who are afraid to be themselves around women, and therefore resort to manipulation tactics which fail miserably. Allow me to elaborate on the commonly known fact that nice guys finish last with a simple example.

~Here we have Tim. Tim is an average guy with average looks and average intelligence. One day, at a party, Tim sees a great looking girl. He wants to talk to her, but is afraid that she will reject him. He goes home that night without talking to her, and then beats himself up all night over it.

The next day, Tim sees that same girl in class. Again, he wusses out and doesn't talk to her because he's afraid she will reject him. This goes on for a few weeks, until a mutual friend introduces Tim to the girl, who we will call Laura.

Tim's first conversation with Laura is boring, with many pauses. Tim's mind is racing because he is thinking of what he should say that would make Laura interested. He certainly didn't want to say something that would offend Laura. After talking for a bit, Tim notices that Laura isn’t responding well. Tim thinks that he may have said something wrong, so he resorts to even more conservative conversation. This goes on for a little longer until Laura says that she has to go, but she had “a nice time talking to him”.

Tim comes away from the conversation feeling “ok” about it. He knew the conversation was bland, but on the other hand, he knew that Laura said that she had a good time.

Tim called/talked to/chated online with Laura every day. This went on for a few weeks. Tim would had nice conversations with Laura, and they would also hang out every now and then.

By this time, Tim realized that he really liked Laura, so sometimes when they got together he would take her out for dinner and pay for everything, or give her candy or flowers. He did this for quite some time, but never really progressed with Laura the way he wanted to. He finally got the courage to ask Laura to be his girlfriend, to which she responded, “I’m sorry. I think we should just be friends.”

Tim was crushed, but thought that maybe…just maybe…if he kept doing nice things for Laura that she would change her mind. So he continued to take her for dinner and buy her gifts, and of course, there was still no progress. He again asked her if she would be his girlfriend, to which she responded, “I told you that I just wanted to be friends.”

Again, Tim was crushed. However he soon found out that Laura was now dating a guy named Brad. He watched Laura and Brad together, and thought to himself, “That Brad guy is such an asshole. He says the most offensive things to Laura, but she‘s still with him. I just don’t get it.”

Tim would continue to keep being nice to Laura in hopes that she would see the light and get with him.

Many months passed, and Laura was still with Brad, while Tim continued to unsuccessfully pursuit her. Poor, poor, Tim never did get to be with Laura, and sadly, he never understood why.~

Now, allow me break down why Tim is a bitch.

When Tim first saw Laura, he was afraid to talk to her because he may have been rejected, so he didn’t talk to her then beat himself up for it. Then when he did talk to her, he didn’t want to offend her, so their conversations were boring. Then when she agreed to go out with him, he paid for everything, and got her tons of gifts. When she told him he wasn’t interested, he didn’t listen, and continued to be a nice guy and kept spending money on her. Then when she again told him she wasn’t interested, he was crushed again. However this was his own doing, because he didn’t listen to her the first time when she said she wasn’t interested.

As far as Brad goes, he wasn’t really an asshole. He was just himself. He said what he wanted, and did what he wanted, and was a man about things. Most likely he did mix it up and did nice things for Laura, which Tim obviously didn’t see. Poor Tim…

Now allow me to further break down the events that occurred in the story, then modify them to give Tim a better chance.

Tim’s initial mistake was that he didn’t talk to Laura when he first saw her. He had nothing to lose even if he did talk to her. The absolute WORST case scenario was that she would not have been interested. That is the ABSOLUTE WORST CASE POSSIBLE. However, more than likely, Laura would have been more than happy to talk to a new person. Meeting new people is always a great experience.

Ok, now let’s pretend that Tim found a pair of testicles and walked up to Laura and talked to her. Chances are, that if he had the same type of conversation with her as in the story, she would have not been interested. However, had Tim just said what was on his mind and talked about whatever he wanted without the fear of offending Laura, she would have been much more responsive. At this point, Tim has just established himself as an interesting person who doesn‘t care what other people think.

Now let us tie back into our story. Tim established himself as an interesting person the first night he met Laura, but then he started talking to her every day on the phone and online and whatnot. Now, even though Tim may be interesting, he’s beginning to come off as a needy little bitch.

Guess what? BAM! Laura is no longer interested. Why? Because women don’t want to date needy little bitches. Instead, lets pretend that Tim called every now and then, but kept conversation very short. However, even though the conversation was short, he would say something like, “I’m going to go get some coffee at Starbucks. If you want, you may join me."

Needless to say, Laura would most likely be intrigued by the offer and go have coffee with Tim. By now, Laura has seen that Tim is interesting, not a needy bitch, and also has his own agenda. Of course, during their little dates, Tim would keep conversation interesting and never let things get boring. Laura would most likely be interested by this point, and want to get together with Tim.

So what is the difference between the two stories? The answer is simple. The first Tim had no self-esteem. He tried to please Laura by being nice and buying her gifts, which actually push women away. Why? Because if you think about it, if you do these things, you’re not being yourself. You’re using manipulation to try to get the girl you want. How is that manipulation? Simple. You’re doing things to try to get somebody to do what you want. (i.e. Get them to like you.)

Tim number two obviously is confident in himself, and realizes that if somebody is not interested in him for who he is, then that is their problem, not his. He said what was on his mind, and wasn’t clingy. He knew that if Laura was going to like him, it was because he was who he was. Not because he bought her gifts and was extra nice to her.

Now, you have to ask yourself, which Tim do you want to be? You can spend months of your life being a bitch to unsuccessfully get a girl, or you can just be yourself and potentially get the girl you want. And if you do flop that first night or first date you have with that girl, you just move on. There are tons of women out there.

To be a bitch…to not be a bitch…

It’s your choice.