Madonna's Top Ten List

My Top Ten complaints about Dave

10. Couldn't vogue if life depended on it.

9. Always asking, `Whatever happened to that nice Sean Penn?'

8. Stole his nickname, `Material Girl,' from me.

7. Before sex, always asks, `Do you have any music for this, Paul?'

6. Can't fit entire Evian bottle down throat.

5. Driving isn't the only thing he does too fast, if you know what I mean.

4. His Top Ten lists keep getting lamer and lamer.

3. Calls the cops every time I break into his house.

2. Doesn't look good in a cone bra.

1. He's still a virgin.