Week 7

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border-top:1px solid #393939; clear:both; display:none; width:100%!important; position:relative; z-index:999999!important; height:90px!important"> <div class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:916px;"> <div id="footerAd_container" style="display:block!important; float:left; width:728px"> <iframe id="lycosFooterAdiFrame" style="border:0; display:block; float:left; height:96px; overflow:hidden; padding:0; width:750px"></iframe> </div> </div> </div> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=50 BGCOLOR="#330033" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div>      <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#CC9900" FACE="Celticmd" ><B><IMG SRC="1b36e230.jpg" border=0 width="366" height="35" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></b></FONT>     </div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Devastators Domain"><U>Home</U></A>          </div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <A HREF="week1.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 1"><U>Week 1</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 2"><U>Week 2</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 3"><U>Week 3</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 4"><U>Week 4</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 5"><U>Week 5</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week6.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 6"><U>Week 6</U></A>   |   Week 7   |   <A HREF="week8.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 8"><U>Week 8</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week9.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 9"><U>Week 9</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week10.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 10"><U>Week 10</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week11.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 11"><U>Week 11</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week12.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 12"><U>Week 12</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week13.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 13"><U>Week 13</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week14.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 14"><U>Week 14</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week15.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 15"><U>Week 15</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week16.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 16"><U>Week 16</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 17"><U>Week 17</U></A>   |   <A HREF="week18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Week 18"><U>Week 18</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=150 BGCOLOR="#C0C0C0" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Devastators Domain"><U><IMG SRC="2f4801b0.jpg" border=0 width="128" height="27" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" height=430 BGCOLOR="#C0C0C0" TEXT="#080000"> <bR> <div> <B><U>Wasting Tequila</U></b></div> <bR> <div> Three guys go into a bar: a guy from Dallas, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Boulder. They drank and got a little rowdy.</div> <div> Suddenly, completely without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked a Colt .45 pistol out of his pocket and shot the bottle, spraying tequila all over everything and everybody. </div> <div> The patrons at the bar shouted, "Hey, bud, why'd you waste that tequila?"</div> <div> The Texan said, "Heck, it's just tequila. Us Texans go across the border all the time and get all the tequila we want."</div> <div> Not to be outdone, the Californian whipped out a corkscrew and uncorked a bottle of wine. He poured some into a glass, swirled it, sniffed, commented on the tart insolence of its bouquet, sipped, tossed the bottle in the air, nicked it with a round from a silly little chrome-plated pistol, and showered a couple of patrons at the bar with wine.</div> <div> The patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern for their safety, expressed their displeasure and astonishment, to which the Californian replied, "Well, I'm from Napa Valley, and we have more than enough wine where I come from."</div> <div> The Boulderite, a quiet observer up to this point, touched the crystal hanging from his neck, adjusted his Birkenstocks, flipped back his ponytail, put down his guitar, and borrowed a bottle opener from the bartender. He popped the top off a bottle of Fat Tire beer, hammered it back, threw the empty bottle into the air, pulled a 9mm Beretta, took careful aim, shot both the Californian and the Texan, and caught the falling bottle.</div> <div> The patrons screamed in utter disbelief, "Why'd you do that?"</div> <div>  The Boulderite replied, "I'm from Colorado. We've already got too  many Texans and way too many Californians, but glass bottles, now  those can be recycled!"</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Longer Dipstick</U></b></div> <bR> <div> A blonde pulls over at the gas station, gets out of her car, opens the hood, and checks the engine oil.  After a few seconds of intelligent thinking, she takes the dipstick in her hand and, raising her chest high, walks up to the attendant.</div> <bR> <div> "Excuse me sir, but can I buy a longer dipstick?"</div> <bR> <div> "May I ask why you need a longer one ma'am?"</div> <bR> <div> "Because this one isn't long enough to reach the oil!"</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Rudolph's Revenge</U></b></div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="3e4a1370.jpg" border=0 width="417" height="567" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> submitted by Wayne</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>The Old Goat</U></b></div> <bR> <div> The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. </div> <bR> <div> "Goat," the little boy replied. </div> <bR> <div> "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" </div> <bR> <div> "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'" </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Getting Older</U></b></div> <bR> <div> Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. </div> <bR> <div> One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." </div> <bR> <div> The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." </div> <bR> <div> The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!" </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <U>Frozen Turkey?</U></div> <bR> <bR> <div> A new young bride calls her mother in tears.  She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." </div> <bR> <div> "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." </div> <bR> <div> "No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price." </div> <bR> <div> "Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." </div> <bR> <div> "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket." </div> <bR> <div> "Airplane ticket....  What did you need an airplane tick for?" </div> <bR> <div> "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Cubicle Wisdom</U></b></div> <bR> <div> If you do a good job and work hard,  you may get a job with a better company someday.</div> <bR> <div> The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.</div> <bR> <div> Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.</div> <bR> <div> Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.</div> <bR> <div> A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.</div> <bR> <div> If at first you don't succeed -- try management.</div> <bR> <div> Never put off until tomorrom what you can avoid altogether.</div> <bR> <div> Never quit until you have another job.</div> <bR> <div> Hang in there: </div> <div>           Retirement is only 30 years away!</div> <bR> <div> Go the extra mile -- It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.</div> <bR> <div> Pride, commitment, teamwork -- words we use to get you to work for free.</div> <bR> <div> Work:</div> <div>           It isn't just for sleeping anymore.</div> <bR> <div> There are two kinds of people in life: </div> <div>           People who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> submitted by Terazona</div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>