Fallacies
Recently, I was sent a fowarded email survery which I noticed contained some glaring fallacies. Since I war in a debatish mood, I corrected them and sent the email back. All names have been changed to protect the innocent (in other words: I want to keep my lawyers pay check as small as possible).

note: The question is directly followed by his answer, which is followed by a space and then my helpfull input. "Helpfull".

1.WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?
*censored

Fine. This one is correct.

2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?
Multi ---- Camo

Um....fine

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
NickleBack: Figured You Out

Nickleback sucks. Listen to rap.

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
Which phone... Gotcha there

No, no you don't. Because it's YOUR phone number so it's your cell phone number. The house you live in is your parents, not yours thus it is not your number.

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
My own blood

Except that was fake blood.... you can't bleed that much from your mouth, nor does blood have lumps unless you have HIV - been visiting brothels latley?

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Midnight White

This answer does not need to be addressed, because anyone can see for themselves how pointlessly stupid this is.

7. WHAT IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
What ever it was in the last second

No, a storm could have changed into a tornado in a second so thus this answer is wrong! YAY FOR HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS.

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE??
My voice mail machine

Last PERSON. A Voice mail MACHINE is not a person!

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes

....right. So that's what they call those things on girl's chests now?

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?
Do I like him, no. Do I trust him, Yes.

I sent you this... I'm not a him.... and you really reallly reallllllly shouldn't trust me. Ever.

11 . HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
I'm a little monkey-ish, or I'm a little concrete-ish

Your brain does resemble that of a monkey, however concrete answers mean correct answers that cannot be rebuffed - these are not correct, as I'm pointing out by rebuffing them with vigor.

12.FAVORITE DRINK?
Blood

That's not a drink simply because if you drink a glass of blood, you vomit. Not only this but you are not a vampire. Succestible people are you are the reason why Dungeons and Dragons is considered "evil" by various religous nutballs.

13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Every time I drink it I can't remember the previous night, thus I can't remember what I drank, so I don't know.

Memory triggers. Not only that, but the cans would by lying around.

14. FAVORITE SPORTS?
Tongue tag (but I only play with girls.)

Later on, you claim that you don't like kissing cause you don't know where thier lips have been. Thus these arguements both fall due to a contradiction of terms.

15. HAIR COLOR?
Black hat?------- Blonde

Hair. That thing you wash...

16 . EYE COLOR?
Sunglasses? -------- Deep blue that gets lighter the closer you go to the pupil

No, wishy washy watered light blue.

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope

You should, these answers of yours are so horrible perhaps you're reading the questions wrong?

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES?
Unknown

...you can, if you're an orphan, contact social services and find out. Thus, it's your own fault and the negative should not be bothered by this untopical arguement.

19. FAVORITE MONTH?
June-tober

Burn in hell and die! There is no 'june-tober'.

20. FAVORITE FOOD?
Fast (as in it's running)

PETA is going to come kill you in the night for shooting and eating live animals. Then we'll see who's running ; )!

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Underworld ;)

This fits in with your extreme illusions that you are a vampire. I suggest a visit to trained phsychologist.

22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
The one where I get to leave my cage

I SEE NO CAGE ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU ARE AT SCHOOL EVERY DAY. Unless this is a metaphor, you're crazy. And even if it isn't, I've supplied various evidence showing that you're crazy anyways.

23. FAVORITE SONG?
Why don't you and I

By who? This song has been performed many times. Please specifiy.

24. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Hella yes, I have to be coaxed or tricked into it. (that's when I want to go out with that girl too)

....coward. Coward. Coward. Coward. Coward. Coward!

25. ARE YOU A FREAK OR CONSERVATIVE?
Most definitely a freak

No, you're a completly average run of the mill loser.

26. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter: darker, colder,

I've said some pretty fucked up shit in my life... some really fucked up shit... but this oh-I'm-so-depressed-help-me is retarded. Knock it off. If you actually have the condition of depression, as I did, then I'll pity you but when you're just saying shit to get pity it annoys me and a lot of others.

27. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs, who know where your lips have been. They might of even been on me!

Cross supply my arguement on number 14.

28.RELATIONSHIPS OR CASUAL DATING?
*censored: his nick name = What ever he can get. *censored: his first name = Relationship

...'cept these two people are one person and if you did have multiple personalitys, you wouldn't know the other that well.

29. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla

I'm sure that given enough time I could come up with something genius against this answer, however I don't have alot of time so this is fine for now.

30. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?
Most of them already have, but yes.

Now you don't.

31. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
*censored: his nickname I'm guessing

Except you're *censored: his nickname, and there is no seperation between you two.

WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
*Censored: his nick name I'm guessing

Cross supply 31.

33. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
4 walls and a door

In your parents house...

34. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
1984, The Giver, The Divine Comedy, and Paradise Lost

Wonderful. I'll be sure to quiz you on them next time we talk.

35. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A lizard layin' back drinking, and a crab doing shots

........................................................................this is amazingly stupid

36. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
Nothing that rose my attention

Is this suppose to be vaqueley sexual?

37. FAVORITE SMELLS?
The girl I'm going out with

You're not going out with anyone...

38. WHAT/WHO INSPIRES YOU?
Umm nothing really, except pain.

If I let chechnian rebels torture you, you wouldn't be inspired. You'd be crying for your mutti.


39. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
To busy in the movies to think about food

No. Just No.

40.FAVORITE BRAND OF JEANS?
As long as it has a lot of pockets I like them

...so I can't figure out what's wrong with this answer... oh well. Guess I'll have to accept over 20 arguements.

41. FAVORITE PLACE?
Oregon: on the beach in the morning to watch the sun rise. With my surf board in one hand, and my girl in the othe

Except you're a "vampire". You don't like the sunrise. And you don't have a girl. Nor could she fit in your hand if you had one. And no, you're not a surfer.

42.FAVORITE CAR?
The one that goes vrroommm vroom VROOOOMMMM

Let's go back to kindergarden. Yay.

43. FAVORITE FLOWER?
A rose with thorns

Oh, this is that whole starving artist thing again.

44. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
5

Wow. An acceptable answer. Good for you!

45. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES HOW MANY?
No I can't

Ha. I outwit you.

46.FAVORITE DAY(s) OF THE WEEK?
Monday and friday

Monday? You freak.

47. RED OR WHITE WINE?
Red

As if you know one thing about fine wines.

48. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Stayed home alone, and watched reruns

That's not whar I heard...

49. DO YOU HAVE A DONOR CARD?
Nope

kk. Nothing to say here.

50. WHAT ARE YOUR LIFETIME GOALS?
To keep a smile, and to know that every thing will be all right

Have fun smiling in a cardboard box.

51 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
YAY ^-^ school

Which proves you suck.

52. WHAT SCARES YOU MOST?
Thinking that this will be the best that I'll be

That scares me too...

*EL FIN*