alright, s0o I come I saw, all that's left is to conquer! the thing is though, the city has adopted me, whether it was warranted or not... but I think it was, maybe I was just being coy about the whole thing. who really knows, huh? the only thing i'm really sure of right now is the fact that I am home. who cares where i'm living, right? all that matters is... I am here. here I am. yes, that's it. it's not so much that I am here as much as it is here I am. HERE I AM WORLD! DO WITH ME WHAT YOU MUST! it wont matter one bit-because I no longer have to face west five times a day. I just have to look up into the sky and say "ahhhh" free at last free at last thank god all mighty I am free at last. someone said to me before I left... well, you are bored here... you'd just be doing the exact same thing there... Yes, I said, exactly, i'll be doing it THERE. i've followed the rainbow to it's end... now what? I suppose i'll have to conjure up some more unobtainable dreams and achieve them too! damn life is rough! hahaha :-D I have this feeling of awe and wonder... like wow... those two men are holding hands on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of a crowded bus... wow. god, life is good. the most horrible thing that has happened since i've been here is that I thought I might not get the job I interview for... but I did. I got the job-it was a horrible 24 hours though! oh the agony of it all! next thing's next- an apartment. this should be the most difficult of all things I have ahead of me this month (besides getting to work on time through all the public transit I have to endure) if it is twice as hard as it was to get a job I will be extremely lucky. I havent yet had time to miss anything in louisiana, except maybe the arms of my girl... wow that sounds like im off at war or something. well, In a way I am off at war. I'm fighting to prove that I can do anything on my own. i'm fighting to prove that yes, there is a place where I am normal... even "average" i'm fighting to know that no matter what I do, i'm doing it the way I want to. IT IS BETTER TO REGRET SOMETHING YOU HAVE DONE THAN SOMETHING YOU HAVE NOT. here I am. now what?