Since Then

surrounded by death
and surrounded by decay
i sit here in the hot sun
thinking of what to say
when i see them again
will we still be friends?
this rot is overwhelming
i don't know what to think
if i were to stay here much longer
i'd  throw up in your sink
i need to leave for my breain is dying
i've been trying
to say how i feel
in my head i say it often
when i dream i say it often.
in it lies love
decaying.
you'd only laugh if i were to voice my feelings
i'd leave and never be able to speak again
i don't believe i could face a rejection like that
and this is why i write this letter
a dead butterfly lies upstairs
still swaying in the wind
half a mouse lies beside her
with blood
with blood
with blood
i've missed them since october
i've been dying since then.