Can't Buy Me Love

Okay, I really had to slap myself to bring this film's rating over the 'C' mark, but I don't care...I like it. This one stars Patrick Dempsey as a teenaged nerd who wants only one thing...to meet Zsa Zsa Gabor. No, I was just kidding! All this dude wants is to become popular. How should he accomplish such a thing? After all, the high school clique system is among the most mysterious things on the planet earth. Well, he deduces, if he dates the captain of the cheerleaders, it might work. One fateful afternoon, when he's about to buy a $1000 telescope in the mall, he catches this bodacious babe in a dilemma; she ruined her mother's weird-looking white dress and can't get the clerk to exchange it. (Yeah, like he would exchange it!) So, nerd teenaged guy offers to buy the dress if she makes it appear they're dating for a month. She agrees. The entire high school is stunned by the concept, but they soon accept him as one of their own…but at what cost? Well, he has to ignore all his old friends for one thing. Plus, as most kids who were popular in high school, he turns into a complete jerk. Cheesiness ensues, but I like the message. I especially enjoyed the part where Dempsy turns on American Bandstand to imitate the dances, but he accidentally turned on PBS where they were enacting a tribal African mating dance. Lo and behold the new dance craze! Oh, I probably flushed my movie critique career down the toilet giving this a B- (the respectable critics panned it) but it was already there to begin with.

Movie reviewed by Michael Lawrence

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Starring:

Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Courtney Gains, Tina Caspary, Seth Green, Sharon Farrell, Darcey DeMoss, Dennis Dugan, Cloyce Morrow, Cort McCown

Directed by:

Steve Rash

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1987 romance/comedy

Rated PG-13.

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Don Ignacio's score: B-

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