Somewhere a long time
ago, I surrounded myself from the hurt and the pain of
life.
Protecting myself,
becoming immune to much of the sorrow that I had felt.
Locking out feelings,
emotions and trying to make them a faint memory.
Taking my life into a
cocoon and weaving my work and family around me.
Existing in my protected
area, focusing on others and their needs with little
thought of my own.
This sufficed as my
world, my meaning for facing each new day and the
challenges it brought.
My world has changed and
I find myself outside of my cocoon free to fly as a
butterfly.
Enjoying the new
freedoms of my life but not sure of where I should fly to
next.
Knowing only that to
survive I must spread my wings, and take on new
challenges.
Learning to be for me,
do that which I enjoy and facing the world on my own and
alone.
It is a time I looked
forward to, and yet now that it is here I am once again
at the crossroads.
Unknown territory,
strange emotions, a rediscovery of myself as I unfold my
wings.
What exactly is a
butterfly suppose to do, its' purpose in life so it is
fulfilled?
This flitting from rose
to thorn experience, when do I find my place again in the
world?
Sometimes wanting to try
to reenter my cocoon but finding it no longer fits my
needs.
Missing the shelter it
provided and the purpose it gave my life ... but now all
that is changed.
Hoping to spread my
wings with a renewed confidence not yet found in myself.
Wanting to find new
meaning to my life and bring experiences into it never
felt before.
Knowing I have so much
to offer and just trying to find a way to apply myself.
A new existence, a new
life, another bend in the road and I can not see the
other side.
Trying to understand my
new role and how to be the best butterfly I can be.
Cheryl C. Helynck
1998
DS
2/14/2000
I found this tonight. It fit me a lot, like
on
how I am feeling right now, where I am at in my
recovery. Thank you Cheryl,,,,,,,,,,
http://whiteshadow.com/ReflectionsIntroduction.htm
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