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Lament
I do not fear the wind in the trees at night
Though it shrieks
and mutters through the dancing leaves
It whispers secrets better left unuttered
Tearing at the boughs, it moans and
grieves
I do not fear it's howl as it sweeps the wood
I do not fear, although it's wailing cry
Through the
darkness, sobbing, searching, haunting
Seems to me a bitter lullaby
I hear it's nightly battle with the branches
Hear it fighting, yearning to break free
I hear it's vain and futile screams and pleadings
I hear it thrash and
roar and try to flee
I do not grudge the wind it's midnight racing
If I could get free, I too would fly
A
rushing, streaming banshee in the moonlight
Gusting wild, escaping every tie
Matt Bridger/DHD Photo Gallery
Who Am I?
I am not who I am
A woman grown, twenty nine
The wife of a good man
The mother of two children
I am not this fearless woman
Strong before her daughters
Never allowing her family to see
Her terror or rage or pain
I am not who I seem to be
A woman, wife and
mother
A daughter, sister, friend
Inside, I am none of these
I am only thirteen
Naive and innocent
Four
months ago, a woman
Learning about my body and how kisses can make me feel
I am a child-woman
Excited to have
my first boyfriend
Sickened by the daily abuse
Bruised by hateful groping hands
I am trapped inside this moment
Six faces, leering
Twelve hands, tearing
Dignity and self ripped away like the tee-shirt that I wore
I
am this girl with wide staring eyes
Fighting, incredulous,
I just can't believe
This is happening -- it can't
be real
I am inside this body
Disbelieving as hard fingers bruise me
Watching as they stare at me
Listening
as they laugh and enjoy their power
I am not who I am
Wife, mother, daughter, friend
I am none of these women
I am the girl, aching and ashamed
I am only thirteen
No longer innocent
Suddenly hating this body
And
the way they made it feel
This is who I am
A frightened child-woman
Trapped inside a moment
This is who
I am
The Mirror
Dark is all I am inside
Anger, emptiness and pride
Hate
and rage within me hide
The secrets that I keep
And in that midnight mystery
I look inside myself and see
The glass portrays me faithlessly
My true face buried deep
A Chill Of Early Frost
There are things
we never talk about,
Secrets hidden deep inside
In darkness mysteries abide
Steeped in anger, fear and doubt.
Memories I will not see,
Pain and rage I must forget,
Though I have not forgiven, yet.
This hatred gains
ascendency
And so I pray to God I might
Forget, forgive, and let the past
Be past, and then be free at last
Not stricken by this bitter blight,
This cold, this chill of early frost,
All alone, and always lost.
Momma
I always trusted you
I believed just what
you told me
I always did what you said
I was a good, good girl
I never got in trouble
I never told you lies
And I brought you all my problems
Like you always said I should
"Little problems, little girl.
You don't know
what pain is.
So you say they called you names?
Oh, welcome to the world!"
I was a good girl, Momma
I never
got in trouble
Put my tears into my pillow
Kept my problems locked inside
"You never try to tell me
What's
going on in your world.
You know you can tell me anything,
You know that's why I'm here."
Of course I know that
Momma
No everything's just fine
Yes I know that I've been spending
A lot of time alone
I don't have any problems
I'm a good girl Momma
I never tell you lies
Never get in trouble
I hold all the pain inside
But it's going
to burst my skin
Erupt right to the surface
Scattered tears and bloodstains
And an empty shell of me
So I
come home with bruises
And with burn-marks on my ribs
And my jaw pops when I talk
Because they shoved it out of
place
And I just can't face you Momma
So I go hide in my bedroom
And you come in to tell me
"Come on, it's
time to eat."
But I've got something to tell you
And I struggle with the phrases
You say, "Later." Always later
So I come out, like you said
And I push the food around
And I fade into my dungeon
And you finally re-enter
And you sit down on the bed
They've been doing bad things to me
They've been touching where you told me
No
one should ever touch me
Can you please just make it stop
"Now, you listen to me, baby,
This is something women
live with.
Don't you ever tell your Daddy,
Cause he wouldn't understand."
But I'm scared I'm shaking Momma
What
if they really hurt me?
I bet Daddy'd listen to me
I bet he'd make them stop
"So how are you going to say it?
How are you going to tell him?
I'm trying to save you from it,
Don't you know you'll be ashamed?
Now be a
good girl, honey.
Don't cause any trouble.
The school year is almost over,
Summer's almost here."
So I listened
to you Momma
I didn't cause you trouble
And I locked my fears inside me
Where nobody else could see
And it
happened three weeks later
Just like I expected
They really hurt me Momma
When they caught me all alone
But
I never told you Momma
I never caused you trouble
Put my tears into my pillow
I kept it all inside
When The Wind Blows (For the girl who was me)
When the wind blows,
I'll remember you
I'll think about the things you said
The things you've done
When the wind blows, I'll remember
When the rain falls, I'll cry for you
I'll cry for the life you loved
The life you lost
When the rain
falls, I'll cry
When the sun shines, I'll smile for you
I'll smile for the times you smiled,
The smiles you'll
miss
When the sun shines, I'll smile
When the lightning strikes, I'll live for you
I'll live the life you
loved
The life you lost
When the lightning strikes, I'll live
When the thunder rolls, I'll die for you
I'll
die for your pain
I'll die for your loss
When the thunder rolls, I'll die
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