"The Daughters of Strongbow, Part One" A Self-MSTing by Alan (John Alan Riggs) Chapter One (At the SOL's bridge room, Mike and the two bots are standing around and talking. This is the first time that something like this has happened in... quite a while. However, both bots are clad in their "best" Strongbow outfits, while Mike is simply stuck with wearing a t-shirt which has the word "Scout" on it, and "er" added to the end with a cheap marker. Gypsy is at the controls, and is consciously ignoring them.) SERVO: (Strongbow) So, Chief Mike, why have you called council? CROW: (Strongbow) I want to go back to the hunt! MIKE: Jeez, guys... I can understand that you'd want to be in character... but you're going both too far and not doing enough. CROW: Oh, so we're not good enough for you? You mean to say I made this elaborate costume just so you could make your smart-alecky comments? Hrrrmph! MIKE: Crow! You're wearing a cheap serape that just happens to be the color of Strongbow's "Book 8" outfit, and your bandanna isn't staying on. SERVO: Yeah, Crow. My outfit's the best. Not only did I dig up my "Elfquest: Fantasy with Teeth" shirt, I made this longbow myself out of cardboard! If that isn't getting into character, I don't know what is! (Abruptly, the large monitor hanging on the wall comes on. Dr. Forrester's face fills the entire screen, and he looks deliriously happy.) DR. F.: Greetings, my victims... er, guests! Looks like you're comfy and all, so I think I'll *ruin* your day once again. Prepare yourselves for the actual "creative" part of "The Daughters of Strongbow"! Nya ha ha hee hee! CROW: How cliche. SERVO: Yeah, not all mad scientists have a long, disturbing laugh. You really have to add more variety to your routine, Doc. DR. F.: I don't like what I'm hearing. Especially not after that "forty" riff. Looks like I might have to lock those theater doors behind you! MIKE: OK, you're original now, Dr. Forrester, sir! SERVO: Yes-yes-yes-very-original. CROW: Truly and mahvelously so. Well, I think it's about time-- (The movie sign comes on.) CROW: ...for the movie sign. MIKE: Oh, we got fanfic sign! SERVO: Fanfic? More like spamfic. MIKE: I wouldn't stand around gabbing, "Strongbow." (They rush into the theater, through all six doors. All take their respective seats, as the fanfic resumes.) >1: Three Parties CROW: I am there, man. > >The small, young one walked alone in the forest. All about her, the >world was strangely peaceful. No one else was about. SERVO: Then the atom bomb dropped and she died. The end. MIKE: We're feeling dark today already! CROW: Not only that, the sentence structure is strangely Shatnerish. >There were no wolves, no humans, no animals, and best of all, no >other elves. The dagger shifted about her belt. It was only one in >a long line of well-used blades. Her black hair and brown clothes >were certainly a giveaway. SERVO: The ladies of our church are casting off clothing of all kinds! MIKE: Tom... >But it was not as if that mattered. She was a warrior, a hunter, one >who took nothing at face value. Life was all good for oneself, but >not necessarily for others. MIKE: This fic has been brought to you by Planned Parenthood. CROW: Maybe this part will be about the meaning of life! >The Way was all there was. She was Foxfur, the Wolfrider, and the >daughter of Strongbow. > >Not far away, a somewhat young Wolfrider male was Sending powerfully. >He was strong, dangerous, and cold - at such an age. SERVO: Damn you, Dr. Forrester! That was a good riff! >But Foxfur was not in *his* sending, by all the High Ones. Instead, >Strongbow's opponent was his chief, Bearclaw. > >**Bearclaw, how could you?? Your cub may be growing, but he can't >be risked on some childish escapade! And you tell me this escaped >you?** Strongbow's Sending was harsh - worse than usual. > **No, Strongbow, why are you accusing me? CROW: (Bearclaw) I mean, come on! I've been teaching in the temple all this time, and all you had to do was-- MIKE: Crow! >Cutter merely found a good fishing pond well within the Holt. >Besides, he was with Skywise, and ... ...what's her name again?** SERVO: Oh, crap. Bearclaw can't even remember his own tribe members' names. This one just went to eleven... (His head begins smoking.) CROW: It's midnight. Do you know where your members are? MIKE: (Bearclaw) I hate the Now! It makes me keep forgetting all the stuff I need to know, and remembering all the crappy stuff like "Help Me Rhonda." > >Strongbow was angrier than ever. It wasn't his daughter that had >caused the problem, though. He could out-Send Bearclaw even when >completely drunk (almost never). And he couldn't take this >nonsense... > >--Character Profile 2: Strongbow-- >Gender: Male. Race: Wolfrider. Age: adult. Soul name: Rael. SERVO: Wow! Another break with "Elfquest" continuity. Is anyone keeping track of the mistakes here? MIKE: I'm not gonna bother. >Relatives: cub Foxfur, cub Dart. Love/Lifemate: Moonshade. Likes: >Wolves, hunting, Sending, action, independence. Dislikes: Slowness, >conversation, evil. Other info: Strongbow is one of Bearclaw's best >hunters. He is very receptive to magic and Sending, CROW: And they called him "Satellitebow." >and detects the presence of an evil first. However, he fails to >acknowledge it for what it is, and thus falls tragically. Quote: >"I'm not talking because I like to sound like you..." MIKE: Another example of "stealing from the original." I'm really beginning to enjoy the "originality" of this fanfic... SERVO: (Han Solo) Luke? Luke's crazy. Can't even handle an academy of Jedi Knights, two or three would-be girlfriends, or staying on our side, much less saving the galaxy in every book. > >Further away than any Wolfrider knew, another small group of elf >warriors were in trouble. They had lost the battle, been captured, >and their fate had already been decided. Their names were Dobil, >Sezen, and Marcis. These young "Go-Back" CROW: (Raye) Go... go home! MIKE: Well, how much "Sailor Moon" do you watch? >elves would be taken by troll guards to some tunnel far away. It >was part of an ongoing northern troll project to create tunnels in >new directions. This one lead far into the south, where it seemed >that there were no other trolls. So far, no puny little elfling had >come back, so it much be pretty good place to kill them by surprise - >or so the trolls thought. SERVO: Yeah, uh huh. "Project"? More like obvious plot setup. CROW: I agree. That's bullshit - of course there's trolls in the south at this point! Do the northern trolls have amnesia? MIKE: Anyway... let's take a break before the next chapter. SERVO: Damn good idea. My circuits were starting to go. CROW: Seven more parts... --- Brief Notes Section: Thanks to everyone who's given me their comments and criticism. I appreciate all feedback! The address is, as before, . (I don't know if there is an "Elfquest" Fanfic Comment board. It was mentioned in the mailing I got when I joined this list...) One person asked that I give a warning about the language and innuendo at the beginning. I considered this, but then I read these words from Stefan Gagne's "Ranma 1/2" fanfic "The Ends": I'm not going to put a 'Disclaimer' in front of any more stories warning people that they might be upsetting, or strange, or otherwise naughty; these are my words and I'll stand by them rather than playfully decry them to cover my ass. A trend I'd love to see in other authors, including Lemon authors. Be proud of your work. (Source: ) It's not that I'm *against* ratings or warnings, it's just that they tend to become superfluous, and sometimes even advertisements. Well, thanks for reading. You can expect Chapter 2 in a few days. -Alan (John Alan Riggs)