The Daughters of Strongbow, Part One: Chapter 7 A Self-MSTing by Alan (John Alan Riggs) You want disclaimers? Check the end. (Dr. Forrester paces back and forth in his lab in Deep 13.) DR. F.: I think I'm about to do something really evil. (He presses a button to send a transmission to the Satellite of Love.) (Meanwhile, Mike and the bots are kicking back on the Satellite. All three are in lawnchairs, with a glass of iced tea by the side.) MIKE: One more fanfic almost under our belts, guys. Not bad, huh? CROW: Actually, it is kinda bad. This one hasn't been too painful. Don't you think that this might give the big Doc some ideas? SERVO: Nah. Like he's actually that evil. (Just as the robot start to kick back, Dr. Forrester's visage appears on a video screen.) DR. F.: Aloha, my dear subjects. Things are gonna get a little goofy from this point on. You will finish "Daughters" this time - the two last chapters in one sitting! And after that... well, well... I've got a surprise in store for you! CROW: Oh, poopy. Just what we needed to brighten our day. Thanks a lot, Forrester. Pfffflt! (The fanfic sign goes off. Mike and the bots spring from their chairs.) MIKE: Oh, we got fanfic finale sign! (They run into the theater...) -- >7: Into the Night CROW: Geez! Let Benny Mardonez dwell happily in obscurity! >The Wolfriders gathered together the next night. They were great in >number now. But not for long! SERVO: Suspense? Foreshadowing? Hell, who needs 'em? >Bearclaw and Joyleaf were there. They may have looked happy, but they >certainly were not. The uneasy feeling between them crept into >every thought, every words. And their parting words would be >remembered for long... > >"Yea, lifemate, whatever! The next time you let Cutter go to battle, >let me remind you of what Two-Spear said right before he went crazy!" >Something was working within Joyleaf, for sure. MIKE: For sure! Uh huh. CROW: Say, anyone remember how Two-Spear went crazy? MIKE & SERVO: No... > >Strongbow and Moonshade were *not* there. Their son Dart was in the >care of Woodlock, and their rebellious daughter Foxfur... well, she >was there somewhere. SERVO: Tonight on the eleven o'clock news - the elven day care crisis! >Right now, many elven eyes were upon Strongbow. What bothered him? >The fact of his evil Joining with the chief's lifemate. MIKE: For those lucky enough to have missed the last chapter. >And why would he not confess what he had done? Fear and pride. But >eventually, he would have to... Would he ever change? No one knew. > >Also there were every other potential hunter: the bold Treestump, >the famed One-Eye, the aging River, Brownberry (who looked remarkably >like Foxfur), CROW: Today on Non-Sequitur Theater... >Rain the Healer, Skywise, and of course Cutter. Oh, and Foxfur was >out there somewhere, with her friends. SERVO: Later on the eleven o'clock news - fanfic authors who don't care! > >The hunt was on! But it was not a fun hunt, not at all. No one knew >who or what the Evil was, so they couldn't just rush out and kill >it. And the trail was strange and unfamiliar. The Wolfriders found >it frustrating. > >Foxfur trailed behind Skywise. She was riding on her wolf friend >Deadfall, an old and annoying creature. MIKE: Enough about Deadfall! He's the most interesting character in this whole damn thing. >Moonshade had told her to support Skywise, and not to rip his hopes >of being lifemates someday. But what did her mother know? Nothing... >nothing indeed. To Foxfur, her "self" was the sole source of >knowledge. And Skywise happened to be the bane of all of that. >Dortboy, CROW: DORTBOY?! SERVO: Whitebread! MIKE: Nerfherder! CROW: Silly person! >she bitterly thought, dort of dortboys. > >Cutter, Blood of Ten-or-so Chiefs, I Forgot How Many, SERVO: Aaaaargh! (His head explodes.) MIKE: Not again... >was right beside his two friends. Being still a youth, Cutter knew >little of the hunt. What he would learn in one night! > >"Hey Skywise," he said quietly, "Looks like you got Foxy back." > >Skywise rolled his eyes, a sign of insanity. CROW: 0_0 (Crow faints.) MIKE: Great, just great... >"Shh, Starjumper..." he told his wolf friend. > >Foxfur had heard that comment. She shot at him, **Don't call me >FOXY!!** What a miserable, sackling, puckery excuse for a... > >One of the more stealthy Wolfriders stopped in his tracks. Someone >quickly Sent, **A dead wolf cub. Our prey is a predator.** SERVO: You know, that would be a cool crossover. MIKE: Back already? > >"We've got a problem now," muttered Rain. > >Noting this brilliant remark, MIKE: When the author's sarcasm hits the fan - you run! >Cutter saw that Rain was coming near him. For no particular reason, >he quipped, "I hope your healing skills won't be needed tonight, >healer." Cutter's wolf was more alert than he was, and already saw >the danger coming nearer and nearer... > >The healer wanted to get the Evil now. He could feel it so much >now... MIKE: OK, now we've passed the "sick" boundary. Doesn't Rain think about *anything* but sex? CROW: Doubt it. SERVO: Welcome back, Goldenrod. >"So do I, young Cutter..." he said, completely blowing their >position. > >And just like that, Rain died. Struck by a vicious nail that he had >not seen. SERVO: The Oliver Stone version of "Elfquest." > >Now the hunt was on! It was here, it was there, it was everywhere. >The clawed hand belonged to a gigantic beast. Standing on its >hideous two feet, it had remarkable agility, power, and intelligence. >Years later, Cutter would acknowledge that the beast was in fact the >Evil, a product of foul magic and nature. But he barely lived to tell >the tale. For this Evil beast was a master of Sending, and had the >power to hurt rather than heal. It seemed immune to damage, and some >Wolfriders died pointlessly. CROW: Another day, another liability. >Its name was Madcoil, the bringer of death. > >--Character Profile 10: Madcoil-- >Gender: unknown. Race: "magical." Age: unknown. Soul name: unknown. >Relatives: none. MIKE: So, in summary... we don't know squat about Madcoil. >Love/Lifemates: none. Likes: Hate, death, killing, blood, fun. >Dislikes: Pain. CROW: Don't we all? >Other info: It is told that Madcoil was produced by old magic that >was ruined over time. The Wolfriders never see anything else like >it. Quote: **HA HA!** SERVO: Mommy! Madcoil's teasing me! > >Marcis was aflame! MIKE: Crow! CROW: I didn't say anything... >All at once charged with the utter thrill of blood, he pounced before >the Evil one. Dressed once again in proper clothes... how better to >kill with?... he drew his naked sword. SERVO: Metaphors gone bad... characterization from hell... inane dialogue... random character profiles... You can find it all in "The Daughters of Strongbow, Part One"! MIKE: Better settle down there, little buddy. >Standing at the feet of Madcoil, *now* he knew the secret of this >Sending! It was not you, but who you were Sending to. And did Marcis >ever Send! **I came to this place, foul BEAST, for one reason - to >kill you!! Feel the pain of this weapon!!** CROW: This story has pretty much exhausted the world's supply of exclamation points. > >Madcoil Sent back... laughing wildly... **Death, blood, pain! He-he- >ha!** > >That was too much! Marcis attacked immediately. Drawing his sword >arm back, he prepared to gouge the monster... but it attacked first! >Marcis grimaced... the giant claw was for him! ALL: Happy birthday, Marcis. >He shook violently, missing his magical target. And the opponent had >no mercy for Marcis... > >Sezen was frozen! He had never known such FEAR! The Evil Madcoil >was huge and terrible beyond every vision... and it had just >killed Marcis. SERVO: Glad they told us that. Otherwise, I would be totally lost... >The only words that the son of Orash could utter were, "Not Marcis, >no, no, the first one to die... not Marcis..." > >All about Sezen everything was moving in double time. Except Dobil. >He was petrified as well. But Dobil at least was keeping a decent >watch, MIKE: So... he borrowed an old Timex from someone? CROW: I'd believe it. >like a true descendant of Orash the Hero... In fact, he was watching >the enigmatic yellow-haired female Wolfrider. From what little Dobil >knew, the thing was that she had to live one way or another. And >then Dobil saw something else from the opposite direction. "Sezen...! >Trolls are coming! Cover them, for the sake of everyone else..." SERVO: Who said that anyhow? MIKE: Might as well be the enigmatic yellow-haired female Wolfrider. CROW: (Kuno) Tree-born, kettle-bearing, pig-tailed girl... >Dobil wasn't the only one who wasn't armed. > >"Trolls I will kill, for the sake of revenge!" Sezen shouted, drawing >his blade and rushing the foes. But why had they come now? It really >didn't matter... maybe they had been attracted to a new battle. >Worse yet, the trolls were a bit higher in number... six of them to >be exact, versus one elf. SERVO: My bet's on the trolls. ALL: Go trolls! Go trolls! >Sezen was scared again... "Dobil, get more help! Trouble!" > >His cousin responded, with his eyes wide open, "I'll get... Foxfur." > >Meanwhile, the battle was a fury of blood and Sending. Madcoil, >enraged, threw his worst thoughts at the Wolfriders. River, the >father of Nightfall, was the next to die. MIKE: Yeah... another stock character bites the dust. Go ahead and say it, Crow. CROW: This fic can bite me! >And the monster wasn't getting hurt at all! > >Bearclaw was living a nightmare. Joyleaf had gotten caught... and the >monster was at her. His attacks were horribly futile. The Blood of >Nine Chiefs believed that he lost his lifemate in this way. But he >had actually lost her just last night, when Strongbow committed his >sin. And the penance for Strongbow would be a long road for himself, >and others. SERVO: I prefer Vincent and Lucrecia. > >Foxfur was having a blast! This was just great, fighting with the >odds against oneself. Who cared about the other Wolfriders, they >could think her dead if they wanted. Heck, let them. She liked >solitude. > >She rode Deadfall like a human, MIKE: The fact that humans don't ride wolves is of course completely irrelevant! >trying to annoy the Evil. And it worked! The creature's Sendings >would not hurt her, for she was strong in the Way. Even though those >"others" were being distracted (including Brownberry, who died), >Foxfur had a season's share of fun. Then from out of nowhere, Dobil >showed up... CROW: (Dobil) Hi-keeba! SERVO: (Dobil) I am Sailor Child Moon, champion of justice! MIKE: (Dobil) Duh, I'm not late, am I? > >Foxfur stopped her maniac charge and got out in a clearing. **Is >something wrong?** she Sent, trying to avoid an interference. > >**Yes!** Dobil seemed to scream, **Sezen is in trouble - trolls!** CROW: Took ya long enough, Dobil. > >Oh, the trolls. They were causing too much trouble for her to let >them live. Well, farewell tribe. You won't be missed, not for a >second! Foxfur replied, **I'm coming, and let me bring my wolf, OK?** > >**Sure,** Dobil Sent back, **And I have to get something, too. Tell >Sezen I will be there... but this could be important. Isn't the >yellow-haired female supposed to live?** SERVO: (Foxfur) Yes, dammit! Haven't you been paying attention for the last twenty pages? MIKE: (Dobil) Duh... oh yeah. Keep forgetting about that dang plot thread. SERVO: (Foxfur) Dortboy. >Foxfur quickly Sent, **Yes, and don't be seen by anyone!** She rode >through the thickets towards where Sezen was. > >As the battle began to clear, Bearclaw had nearly broken down. Five >Wolfriders lost in one night... and his lifemate. There was only >one solution: retreat. "Ayoooah! Run for your lives!" he said, >meaning more than one thing. CROW: Um... that's a cliffhanger? What the hell just happened there? MIKE: Forget it. We've got one chapter left of this... -- Brief Notes: Hey, none of the references in this one are mega-obscure! I really should do this more often... One more chapter, and then I'll move on to Part Two of "Daughters." In the next installment, you'll get a little foreshadowing of what the MSTing of Part Two will be like. Oh, and if anyone has an EQ-related thing they'd like me to take on, I'll gladly take it! -Alan Disclaimers: "Elfquest," its characters, etc., are copyright 1978-1998 Warp Graphics. "Mystery Science Theater 3000," its characters, etc., are copyright 1988-1998 Best Brains, Inc. This MSTing was created by Alan (John Alan Riggs) on November 17, 1998.