The ElfQuiz Parody: The Revisionist History: Take-a-Look 3: Curtains for Glue Fountain

Chapter Three: The Social Merry-Go-Round
Nightfall sat down by the Geyser, shaking her head in dismay. "Damn," she said sullenly, "What just happened there? Remind me again?" she asked of anyone who would listen.

"I sure don't know," Treestump said, sluggishly walking in her direction, "One moment we were having a nice GAME, and the next... someone falls through the ceiling, and - I think - the floor." He gazed back in the direction of the GAMEboard, but it was no use. The hole made by the falling being had wrecked half of the board... the Gliders' half. They had not been pleased to fly out of the way and postpone the GAME, but that was life... or so Treestump thought.

Bobbing her head slowly, Nightfall replied, mumbling, "No one told me where Redlance was for seven full turns, and even now he seems to be 'elsewhere.' But that's nothing compared to this. It's a sick GAME, that's what it is! And if I have to play my turn once more - blam! pow! Fists will fly and foes will fall."

Though just as distraught as everyone else, Cutter looked at Nightfall with pity. "Please," he said, "not now." He knew full well what she was like in these situations.

Slightly startled, Treestump sat up and turned towards Cutter. Sounding less pathetic than moments before, he stated, "All I want to know is where Dewshine is. I think I lost her in the crowd somewhere." He tried to think back to when he had last seen her, but it was no use.

From one of the passages near where Winnowill and Tyldak had been standing prior to the GAME, Dewshine appeared. "Ayoah," she said rigidly, "It appears that things have happened, and events have taken place. How fascinating. Now, will someone enlighten me?"

"I'll try," Moonshade said, scratching the rough area one of the chains had made on her left wrist, "Most of the tribe reunited, and were forced by the leaders of this place to play some sort of 'GAME' for the freedom of Strongbow and I. From what I could see, it was interrupted by someone crashing through the ceiling, and so they decided to just let us go. Potential future charges are still pending, of course." Glancing over at her lifemate, who was silently fuming, she wondered if there was something they could do to break the tension.

Stepping from out of the crowd, Stormbringer could clearly see just how displeased most of the tribe was. Trying to sound cheerful, the alleged daughter of Foxfur said, "Dewshine, why don't you tell us what you've been doing? Enlighten us."

The young, blond elf felt uncomfortable, and though she walked toward the Geyser, she was visibly lost in thought. "I suppose I could," she stated hesitantly, "Well, here's my story..."

Dewshine's Story

"You know, ever since I got dropped into this place, I've had a very nervous feeling. Maybe it's the goo, maybe that Glue Fountain is strangely drafty... I don't know. Well, whatever it is, it probably has some sort of implication for me, and application for my life. Even so, the Gliders seem nice... yes, very nice--I can't describe it, just that they've been unusually friendly to me. Well, I'd rather not reveal anything more... and... um..."

As Dewshine ran out of ideas, the quiet scene was broken by Tyldak making an entrance. The bird-like elf swooped over the hole in the ground, soaring in their direction... but all very slowly. Meanwhile, on the ground, Quickblade was standing several Elf-Widths behind the others, and he was preparing his mango launcher for one last launch.

He fired, and hit.

SPLAT!

All the Wolfriders' eyes were quite suddenly on Quickblade, who was proudly standing beside his mango launcher. Unfortunately, "all" of them included Pike, who was not in his best mood today. Immediately, Pike ran from the Geyser towards the youth, lifted Quickblade one Elf-Width off the ground, and rang his scrawny neck.

"Uuuhhh..." moaned Tyldak, now on the floor, "...Nasty. I *hate* mangoes!" He was quite a mess, and he had not thought to bring a towel with him.

As Pike set the irresponsible one down, and went back towards the Geyser, Quickblade's parents stared at the cub. "You're gonna pay for this one... this time, cub," Leetah whispered, feeling ready to strange him herself.

Just the, Winnowill sauntered in from the back tunnels. Still appearing just a bit too nice, she cooed, "Oh, I am sure the boy meant no harm. Right, Tyldak?" In response, Tyldak shook his curiously shaped head to disagree. Instantly, a zap! was heard as the winged elf's body shook rapidly, then toppled to the ground. Ignoring her unconscious hench-elf, Winnowill asked, "Now that that's taken care of, may I join in your discussion?"

An idea came to Moonshade. Remembering her political ambitions, she exclaimed, "Just a moment ago, we weren't talking about anything in particular... but I'm about to change the topic to the Social Circle! It's a group that I founded several turns back, consisting of the females of my tribe. We haven't met, though, in two moons, four days, six hours, and... nine minutes. Anyway, if this is gonna happen, then the males have got to clear out!" She said these words with passion and enthusiasm - the Social Circle was the outlet for her frustration.

The non-females characters surrendered, leaving in a quick procession - even Tyldak went, for Rain carried him. Since Cutter was the first to leave, Treestump jokingly remarked, "We... follow him!"

Clearing her throat loudly, Moonshade began the meeting by presenting her mission statement to the many newcomers: "The Social Circle is now open for all. Though formerly known as Moonshade's Female-Oriented Organization to Promote the Aforementioned Founder's Future Queenship, I have changed my mind since that time. No platitudes will I give you, my sisters, for I still want to be Queen of the Wolfriders. However, the Social Circle is my more conservative means of accomplishing that goal."

Most of the females present, even Leetah, applauded. Only two of the newcomers did not - Stormie and Hoodbearer. "And what do you two find wrong with that?" Winnowill politely asked of them.

Hoodbearer's face twisted into a grimace. The human-raised elf stood and declared, "That's the worst thing I've ever heard - and humans say some pretty nasty stuff. You're a queen alright... and not in a good way. Call me anti-feminist if you want, but I'm not bowing down to one who thinks she's great. In short, either I will be heard, or I will not follow!"

Though somewhere between dreamberry happiness and sleep, Clearbrook blurted, "Uh, who is that? Seems a bit angry, somehow," posing the question to all who might hear.

Foxfur knew. She calmly replied, "Why, this young elf is called Hoodbearer. She's had a very interesting life thus far, and it just might get better from here on. For it just so happens that she's your daughter." It was a fact, and how could Foxfur withhold that truth?

Something registered in Clearbrook's synapses. She gasped and said, "Oh my... I would not have thought. You know the saying 'As each star differs in brightness, so do the children of man'? It might be true," then shook hands with Hoodbearer, who was also standing after her speech, and said, "Congratulations, cub, and welcome to the family."

Not feeling very well, Hoodbearer looked at Winnowill, who was just sitting around and looking smug. She nervously asked the anti-healer, "Do you know a human named Tabak?"

Though Winnowill was worried about how this strange elf knew about the human slave, she responded, "Yes. Why?" Touching her own chin, she thought, This has become interesting, for certain - but now it's become dangerous for me.

The daughter of Clearbrook continued, boldly, "Go and punish him - harshly!" She watched, and sit down, as Winnowill left to perform the task.

Despite everything, tension still hung in the air. Always ready with a witty comment, Nightfall added, "Well, this is jolly fun! I see now how the Social Circle can change with just a few additions. How about a comment from one of our other new members - say, Ember or Stormbringer, or for that matter, what's Leetah thinking? As for myself, I just enjoy seeing all this unfold!"

But the huntress was too late with her humor, for Stormie jumped up and declared, "Hoodbearer is right. It's time for a Social Circle revolution. I say *down* with the ambitions of Moonshade! Who's with me?" she demanded of the now-stunned others.

"What the...?" Leetah exclaimed amidst the quarreling, "What's the point in this? So some are with the concept of queenship, and some aren't. I say 'so what?' Isn't our first objective to work together? Or what... is.. this-" Her voice faltered, for the discussion had devolved into a catfight. Apparently, there was a different purpose to the Circle.

Before long, Moonshade, Nightfall, and Foxfur were brawling with Hoodbearer, Stormie, and Clearbrook. Unbeknownst to them, Ember, Dewshine, and Leetah snuck out just as the fight started.

***
The males of the Wolfrider tribe had no Social Circle, but they had a few organized discussions of their own. These meetings were mainly about sports, females, fighting, or hunting, though they would occasionally get around to a more serious topic. Fortunately, Pike, Rain, and/or Quickblade were usually around to remedy that.

When the three refugees from the other room came in, the males all groaned, and continued their chat (or IRC) in quiet voices. The only exception to this rule was that Skywise and Aroree were entertaining each other in a well-hidden corner. Also, Tyldak had finally come around, and for the moment, he was keeping to himself.

Strongbow, still a bit unhappy after his prison term, stomped his left foot on the ground. He sent openly, **This place is making me sick, and so are all of you. I expected you to win me my freedom for good at the tal match. Now... who knows what will happen? Well, before something else does, I'm getting out of here.** He stood up and prepared to do exactly that.

Always the practical one, Woodlock asked, "How do you plan to do that? We got in by falling down into a pit. The only sane way to escape is via the Gliders' bond-birds."

**I do not think so,** Strongbow shot back. He scanned the room, then sent, **Tyldak! Tyldak! Listen to me and come over here.** The only thing Strongbow knew was that Winnowill's favorite victim had one too many secrets. This would not be for long.

Tyldak walked over to Strongbow. Forcing himself to get uncomfortably close to the archer, he mockingly asked, "What is it that you demand of me, good ex-con, sir?"

The Wolfrider was not amused. He wanted to kill Tyldak, but the flesh-shaped elf probably would have something intelligent to send before he died. **You, Tyldak, poop-pot of Winnowill, are going to tell me - here and now - exactly how I can get out of here,** he sent furiously.

Let it be said that Tyldak was not without a temper. He told Strongbow in turn, "You're getting out of here, alright, when I say you can! In short, I don't think so. If we can come up with a few more charges, you're back to prison, and probably in the same cell as Windkid! So to avoid meeting the Captive of Captives, don't bother with our Doors!"

All was silent. Strongbow fell to a kneeling position, then started sending as never before. Tyldak had spoken truth - the way out would require Strongbow to mentally convince the female Door to let him out. Ignoring the fact that Tyldak was walking away, Strongbow sent, **Fedoor! Wake up, you! Get me a way out of here.** With one exception, the entire Wolfrider tribe was inching away from Strongbow.

**Think harder,** Fedoor bluntly replied.

Barely bearing her mental insult, Strongbow answered, **I don't care WHAT Winnowill tells you! Just do your job. I don't have all day.** By this time, Skywise and Aroree had flown the coop, and Tyldak was stealthily leading Dewshine into another room.

A moment passed, and then Fedoor blinked. She sent a small stone platform down toward the ground, not bothering to reply with words.

Just as Strongbow was about to board Fedoor's platform, Moonshade raced into the room. Looking deathly afraid, she pounced upon her lifemate. In turn, Strongbow grimaced. A second later, both of them went on the mock elevator. No words were shared as they were lifted towards the surface.

***
As One-Eye's story came to a conclusion, Starjumped started dashing around. The enigmatic cub shouted, in a voice that he hardly even recognized, "Why-yi stay he-here? Go, find glove!" He was ashamed - Why can't I get the message across? was the thought that tormented the young Starjumper.

Redlance was also puzzled. He was beginning to see something a bit familiar in this peculiar cub - and despite his primitive aspects, the youth had a certain vivacity, a drive, a free spirit... Then it came to Redlance: just like Nightfall. But how? Why? When? With whom? he wondered.

While the tree-shaper pondered, Dobil just sat still, trying to clear his head of all these lunatic adventures. He swore to himself that if one more thing happened, he'd have to...

Suddenly, One-Eye whispered, "Shhh! Someone else is coming!"

They became quite still - even Dobil. Poised to jump out, One-Eye stared into the bush, listening to his utmost. His expression turned from angry to deadly furious in an instant. Finding no more will to whisper, he then shouted, "It's the *traitor*! Yaaargh!" The disfigured Wolfrider, having identified his target with one hundred percent accuracy, burst into the bushes, charging after the retreating figure. He had waited long enough - and now his revenge would almost be complete.

The others stayed where they were for a long time, not knowing what else to do... Only one thing was sure: One-Eye was going away from the humans' camp, and away from Glue Fountain.


Go Home Page!

Back to Welcome Page

Another Gratuitous Geocities Link

TAL 3: Chapter 4 is finally up. Thanks for waiting!

This is a not-for-profit fan page, and is not affiliated with or sponsored by any person, company, or entity (with the exception of the webrings) mentioned within. Elfquest, its characters, and all indicia thereof are copyright 1978-1998 Warp Graphics. "The ElfQuiz Parody" is a satire thereof and should not be misconstrued as an actual work of Warp Graphics or its employees. This page was last updated, by John Alan Riggs, on October 2, 1998. Are we having fun yet?