From

As Transcribed by His Associate,

Mr. Pierce Reticule-Flambois

Notations The Second: Seized By A Wild Surmise

A proclamation is, I think, in order, Pierce (observes The Doctor languidly, speaking from the comfortable depths of his preferred chair near the window, from which he can observe the comings and goings of the populace of The City, and in particular those of the young gentleman tending Mrs Lopside's topiary gardens across the street, and especially on a day such as this when the sun, bearing down upon the strapping lad, causes the light to glisten off his sinewy form in such as way as to nearly fog the lens on The Good Doctor's spyglass), and that is (he continues, unaware that his observations have been so closely observed) to wit:

Whilst I am second to none in my Admiring of the grandeur of God's Holy Creation, I must confess clearly and boldly, without concern for the consequence, that I bear no fondness toward toadus horticultura horribilus, or common garden-frog, several large-ish and amphibiously hideous exemplars of which currently reside in the muddied pool-let which His Satanic Majesty Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken insists on maintaining (badly, it must be pointed out, and in a general slipshod and disorganized manner that he ridiculously describes as a "natural, self-sustaining ecosystem" - large words indeed for what amounts, in my studied opinion, to little more than laziness and slovenliness of the basest order) solely for the purposes of annoying me and causing me crippling gastrotic agonies of a character both painful and embarassing.

These animals, if indeed they are to be numbered among the Natural Creatures that blithely wander our globe, emit horrid "mooing" noises well into the night, and break my morning slumbers with their eerie, ghastly cries and gulps. They frighten the innocent fish, and terrorize the snails. They upset the plant pots that whatshisname has arranged in such poor order around the edges of his waterfilled pit. They squat in a most ungainly and undignified manner upon the rocks surrounding the so-called "pond" and, when not spewing their vile cries and fiendish noises (upon the making of which, it is to be pointed out, they inflate their green bodies to preposterous dimensions, and then flatten out in a manner that can only be described as Obscene) they are staring balefully at me, with Expressions upon their bright green faces than are nothing other than Threatening and, dare I say, reflective of pure Evil incarnate.

Simply: I do not care for the frogs.

And that, Pierce, is what I wish to communicate to the world upon this electronic web device. The frogs, with which the Author of these dismal pages is clearly utterly besotted, are not lovable and sweet, like unto, say, bunnies or baby birds. They are wicked, and not to be trusted, and clearly without discernable merit or redeeming quality.

I shall make it my business to Destroy them.

But first, concluded The Doctor, I must complete my observations of the other, more pleasant fauna that aboundeth upon God's Earth, for I will be d----d if I will let the spawn of E---- interfere with my daily scientific work. Pierce, I demand the cleansing cloth immediately. The lens is positively opaque!