Welcome to my Stories & Things page. I'll just sit here and look out the window while you read.
1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you buy me. 2. Give me time to understand what you want of me. 3. Place your trust in me-it's crucial to my well being. 4. Don't be angry at me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your entertainment and your friends. I have only you. 5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when its speaking to me. 6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it. 7. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones of your hand but that I choose not to bite you. 8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask your self if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak. 9. Take care of me when I get old; you, too, will grow old. 10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it, or, "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember, I love you.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me-it's crucial to my well being.
4. Don't be angry at me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your entertainment and your friends. I have only you.
5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when its speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it.
7. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones of your hand but that I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask your self if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old; you, too, will grow old.
10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it, or, "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember, I love you.
On average what it costs to be a cat owner. Adopting a cat from a shelter $25 First Year vaccinations $200 Each year thereater $27 Other annual veterinary care $80 Annual feeding $145 Annual kitty litter $78 Annual toys, grooming supplies $160 Daily boaqrding $10 Source: Humane Society of the United States, 1991
See how many yes answers apply to you. Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them? Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress? Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month? Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter?Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?Does your cat sleep on your head?Do you like it? Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?
Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them? Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress? Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month? Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter?Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?Does your cat sleep on your head?Do you like it? Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?
1. Doors: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened,it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swing doors are to be avoided at all costs.2. Chairs and rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an oriental rug. If there is no oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.3. Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything---just sit and stare.4. Hampering: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering". Following are the rules for "hampering". a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you lie across the book itself.c) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it.d) For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity) keep in mind the aim---to hamper!! First sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.e) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.5. Walking: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.6. Bedtime: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
2. Chairs and rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an oriental rug. If there is no oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.
3. Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything---just sit and stare.
4. Hampering: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering". Following are the rules for "hampering".
a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you lie across the book itself.
c) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it.
d) For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity) keep in mind the aim---to hamper!! First sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
e) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.
5. Walking: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
6. Bedtime: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
A three year old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. Upon returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There are two little boy kittens and two little girl kittens". "How do you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
"One cat just leads to another."
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
"People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
10. E-Mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy." 9. Traces of kitty litter on your keyboard. 8. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like (alt.recreational.catnip). 7. Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.feline.com/. 6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it ... and a strange aroma of tuna. 5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of "CyberDog." 4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II. 2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser. and the #1 sign your cat has learned your Internet password... 1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
I ask for the privilege of not being born ... not to be born until you can assure me of a home and a master to protect me, and the right to live as long as I am physically able to enjoy life ... not to be born until my body is precious and men have ceased to exploit it because it is cheap and plentiful.
Well I'm tired of sitting in the window and I'm going to see what Brandy is doing. I hope you enjoyed some of the stories and things on this page. To go back to my main page just click the paw below. Thanks for the visit and come back soon! Now where's that dog. Maybe she's sleeping and I can bite her ears.;o>