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About the Jerboa
Mongolian Five-toed Jerboa (Allactaea sibirica)
The Mongolian Five-toed Jerboa is a nocturnal, burrowing
inhabitant of steppes and deserts. In the colder parts of its range it may hibernate for as long as 7 months.
That's right. Nocturnal.
And burrowing. And it has five toes! I wouldn't have believed it either, but, as you can see, there it
is, I wrote it myself. Whenever I think, "Why am I here, and where is the human race headed," I simply remember
the Monglian Five-toed Jerboa, and I'm all like "Oh, yeah."
Not only are they amazing and unique, but they
are undoubtedly the most important animal to the functioning of humanity. Think about it. Where would
we be without them. That's what I thought. You can barely walk down a street in this country without not seeing
a Mongolian Five-toed Jerboa.
Don't let the name fool you, these guys not only
live in Mongolia, but in China, Mongolia, Afghanistan, Turkey, America, and Mongolia. They can change colors to
blend in with their surroundings, and and can eat, like, 300 bagels in one sitting. They have the strength of 50 really
strong orphans, and can make you go insane JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU.
Here's the thing about Mongolian Five-toed Jerboas:
When you piss one off, you know that he's either going to kill you in your sleep, or write on your face in your sleep.
So one night, he writes on your face, and you're all like "Oh crap, next time I piss him off he's going to kill me."
So then you piss him off again, and your all like "oh man." But he just writes on your face again. Then you're
all like "He isn't going to kill me no matter what I do," so you piss him off again. Then, that night, while you think
you're safe, he kills you.
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