::bows politely:: Konnichiwa! I said I wasn’t going to give Recca a birthday fic, but he’s such a cool character that I had to do it ^_^ Well, since I suck at parodies I’m going to write this in my worst possible form...script form! Unhappy FoR cast: Yay... I knew they’d love the idea ::grin:: Happy birthday, Recca-chan! While you officially SHOULD be turning 17 today, the anime hasn’t continued yet and so you’ll still be 16. Gomen! This is to Bonnie-chan who laughed so hard at my Fushigi Yuugi/Sailormoon crossover that I was compelled to write another parody in script form ^^;; Why is this taking place on a plane? Well, a few months ago I was going to Florida with a Sara (Spring break) and she had to carry around this idiotic yellow and orange bag on the plane because she had brought on a water pistol (long story ^^;;) that looked a bit like a real gun ::sweatdrop:: Enjoy the madness! Oh, there are some surprise guests from Ranma 1/2 and Rurouni Kenshin in this fic! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The FoR Birthday Plane Experience Written for: Hanabishi Recca 7/27/99 Christina Ortega =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Part One: Weapons and Seating Arrangements... or Domon, the Frightened Gorilla... Recca (singing): Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to meeeee! Happy birthday to me! Mikagami: Why did I let myself be dragged into this? Fuuko: Because, deep inside, you know that we’re the closest friends you’ve ever had since your sister died? Mikagami (absently): I think it’s because I would get a free plane ticket. ::Fuuko tips over:: Koganei: Che...it’s Recca-niichan’s birthday which means I hafta be nice to him!? This sucks! Recca: Live with it. On your birthday, I’ll treat you nicely. ::Koganei, who can plainly see Recca’s fingers crossed behind his back, facefaults:: Domon: Fuuko...are you positive that this plane is going to be safe? We might crash! ::He glomps her:: Fuuko: We’ll be safe...and LET GO OF ME, HENTAI!!! ::The others sweatdrop as Domon is punted through the roof of the airport:: Stewardess: Flight number 2669 heading to Orlando, Florida is now ready to board. Please enter through gate 10A. Yanagi (in her, as always, overly cheerful and cute voice): Wai! Disney! I’ve never been! Reeca-kun, you’ll come with me to Disney World, won’t you? Domon (who miraculously landed in the exact same spot that Fuuko had kicked him from): Oi, Hanabishi, are you really going to be dragged around that kiddy park? Recca (eyes dark): Are you disagreeing with what Hime wants to do, Mongoloid? Domon: Who the hell are you calling a Mongoloid!? ::The two engage in a large brawl, a dust cloud covering them:: Fuuko: Anou...Mi-chan, shouldn’t you be sticking up for Yanagi, also? You like her, too, don’t you? Mikagami: Why waste my time with those two apes? Besides... ::He eyes Yanagi warily:: Mikagami: I feel like I’m committing incest. ::Slowly, the group consisting of Fuuko, Yanagi, Koganei, Mikagami, Recca, and a horribly bruised Domon walk through the gate leading to their plane, getting on...well, most of them...:: Domon (hanging onto the door of the plane for dear life): I don’t wanna go!! DON’T MAKE ME!!!!!! TASUKETE!!!!!! Fuuko (x’s on her forehead): Hora! Stop being such a big baby! You’re a man, aren’t you!? Domon: I don’t wanna be one if I have to RIDE THAT!!!! Mikagami: Baka. ::Fuuko and Recca finally manage to kick Domon through the door and into the plane:: Koganei (cheerfully): Well, we’d better find our seats before that big gorilla tries to make any more trouble. ::Domon grabs Koganei by the shirt:: Domon: Who the hell is a big gorilla!? Mikagami: Isn’t it obvious? Domon: Snobby bastard! ::Fuuko pushes Domon down into his seat. Koganei sits next to him:: Domon: Nani!? Why am I stuck with the brat!? Koganei: Who the hell is a brat, Gorilla!? Recca: Hey, stop complaining. I didn’t come up with the seating arrangements. ::He sits down next to Yanagi:: Recca: I’m glad its my birthday. The author wouldn’t dare touch me on a day like today. Domon: Ara...but then where’s Fuuko going to sit? Koganei: She’s sitting in front of me. ::Points at Fuuko’s purple hair:: Domon: Ahhhh...! ::Glares daggers at Mikagami who is sitting in front of him and points:: Domon: You! Why are you sitting with my Fuuko!? Fuuko: What did you say!? ::Domon gains a lump on the head:: Mikagami (emotionlessly): It’s not my decision. Fuuko (glomping him): Mi-chan, you’re so shy! ::Domon grows x’s on his forehead:: Koganei: Damn straight it isn't his decision. Mikagami-niichan would be sitting with ME if he had a choice! Recca (clueless): Eh? Really? Fuuko (suspiciously): Erm...Mi-chan? Mikagami (turning red): Anou... ::A stewardess slowly approaches the group, pointing towards the Ensui in wonder:: Stewardess: Hey, how did you get that past customs!? Mikagami (shrugging): It’s just water... Stewardess: I’m afraid you’re going to have to have that tagged... Mikagami (dumbfounded): But it’s just-- Stewardess: No buts. ::Moments later, Mikagami is stuck with a yellow and orange bag holding the Ensui inside:: Fuuko: Talk about tacky. ::Mikagami sighs and shakes the bag. Water can be heard within:: Stewardess: Is this some kind of joke!? ::She points at Koganei’s Kougon Anki accussingly:: Stewardess: You’ll have to tag that weapon! Koganei: I don’t want that ugly bag! Ick! Besides, I won’t do anything with it! Would you rather it be in a different form? ::He changes the Anki into the chain sickle:: Koganei: It's completely harmless! ::He changes it into the giant scissors and attempts to chop at Domon's tuff of hair:: Domon: Yamete!! Stewardess: That is a dangerous weapon, and I'm afraid that... ::Trying to dissuade the stewardess, Koganei changes the Kougon Anki into a toaster:: Koganei: See? Harmless! Domon: Stop showing off, Baka Gaki! Koganei: Who the hell are you calling a gaki!? ::He jumps on Domon's head and starts biting his hair ala Yahiko:: ::Everyone sweatdrops:: ::A minute later, Koganei is holding one of the hideous bags:: Recca: Heh. That’s what you get for having a real weapon. My dragons are on the inside! You can’t bag that! ::Moments later, Mikagami and Koganei have stuffed Recca into one of the yellow and orange bags:: Yanagi: Anou...I don’t think Recca-kun can breathe... Mikagami: Is that a problem? Stewardess: Excuse me, Sir, but you’re going to have to bag that. Daikoku (pointing at his staff): This? It’s a fishing rod. Stewardess: Nice try. ::The Hokage watch as Team Ku, minus Fujimaru, enter the plane. Daikoku is holding one of the hideous bags:: Recca: Oi, where’s Fujimaru? Kukai (shrugging): He called and said he was a little lost but had found someone to help him get here... *** Elsewhere... Fujimaru: Are you sure this is the way to the fuckin’ airport, Kid? Ryouga: Don’t call me a kid...and it should be this way... ::The two walk into a tunnel. A sign outside reads ‘Welcome to Kyoto.’:: *** Stewardess: I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to bag that. Raiha (motioning to the sword on his back): This? I’ve never used it. Neon: It’s for decoration, really. I honestly don’t think he knows how to use a sword! Oh-hohohoho! ::X’s appear on Raiha’s forehead:: Miki: You’re so witty, Neon-sama. Aki: Hai! That’s how I know we’re sisters, Onee-sama! ::The three women continue with their “Oh-hohohohohos!” and enter the plane:: ::Raiha sits down behind them angrily with a yellow and orange bag:: Recca (paling): What are they doing here!? This is my birthday fic! I didn’t invite them! ::Recca eyes the little chibi brown-haired girl sitting at the front of the plane suspiciously. She quickly ducks:: Fuuko (suspicously): If that sword doesn't have anything to do with Raiha's elemental weapon then where the hell does he keep it!? ::Raiha offers her a sly smile:: Koganei (blushing): I know where he keeps it. Fuuko: Really? Where? Koganei: Well, he keeps it-- Christina-chan: Dame, dame, dame!!! No ecchi while I'm on the plane! ::The chibi girl runs back to the front of the plane as if nothing had happened:: ::Everyone shares a collective sweatdrop:: Stewardess: Anou...you can’t bring that on here. Genjuro: Are you serious!? ::He looks at Shiju first and then at the tree form of Mokuren that he has stuck into a large rainbow-colored pot:: Genjuro: Which one? Stewardess: That ugly animal should be in a cage...and why are you bringing a tree onto the plane!? ::Koganei pales considerably:: Genjuro: Wakatta. ::A moment later, Shiju is in a giant cage and Mokuren has been kicked next to the plane:: Mokuren: I want a rematch! Send that Hanabishi brat and that guy that looks like a girl down here! I’ll rip them apart! Recca (clenching his fists): Brat!? Mikagami (eyebrow twitching): Looks like a girl!? ::A moment later, half of Mokuren has been frozen and the other half has been burnt:: Kurei (iron mask and bright purple lipstick in tact): Hmm...looks like I missed some of the party. ::He eyes Mokuren before entering the plane and looking around:: Stewardess: You can’t bring that on here. ::She motions towards Kurenai who is perched on Kurei’s arm:: Kurei: She’s my one true love. Why not? Stewardess: She may be your true love, but she’s a fire hazard as well. ::Reluctantly, Kurei puts Kurenai out:: Raiha: I’ve saved a seat for you, Kurei-sama. Neon: No, Kurei-sama, we’ve saved a seat for you. ::The three women “Oh-hohoho!” again. Sweatdropping, Kurei opts to sit with Raiha:: Recca: Why is HE here!? This is supposed to be my birthday fic! If I was running this thing, we’d already be in Florida! Kagero (entering): Be patient, Recca. If you focus on a situation with your mind...feeling the force of the Univerrse...you will learn that the true way of the Hokage is-- Kondo (cutting off Kagero's babble): Don’t be so hotheaded, Moron! Ganko: Baka! Stewardess: Shouldn’t he be in a cage? Kondo: Cage!? I don’t think so, Baby! Have you ever seen a stuffed fox in a cage!? Stewardess (sweatdropping): I’ve never seen a stuffed fox talk let alone in a cage. Kondo: That’s more like it. Raiha (whispering): Why does the toy speak in Kansai dialect? Kurei (whispering back): That’s just one of the many plot holes of the first season. No one can figure it out. Kai: Good! I didn’t miss the plane! ::Mikagami pales considerably:: Stewardess (starting to become frazzled): You can’t have that sword in here! Kai: Oh, really? I’m not planning on doing anything with it. Stewardess: Mattaku...just who IS running security in the airport anyway!? *** Back in the security section... Kuchibashimaru: Let’s practice our cheer again! Hanemaru: Sounds good...and Tsumemaru, if you screw it up again I’m going to kill you! Kuchibashimaru: We’re the triads! Hanemaru: The strongest! Tsumemaru: Three idiots! ::The other two fall over. Tsumemaru is clueless:: ::Hanemaru watches a group walk by with wide eyes:: Hanemaru: Hey, you there! Stop! Let’s see those weapons! Kenshin: Oro? ::He takes out his Sakabatou:: Tsumemaru: It’s cool! Let him pass! Kuchibashimaru: What about that? ::He points towards Sanosuke who is holding his Zanbatou:: Sano: What about it, Tight-ass!? Hanemaru: I like it. He can pass, too! ::The group continues on:: Misao: Hurry, Aoshi-sama! We’re going to miss our flight! Aoshi: .... Sano: Shit, I don’t WANT to fly! Saitoh: Ahou ga. Sano: TEME! Kenshin: Don’t worry...it’s a little bit smoother than a train de gozaru yo! ::Sano begins shivering:: Kaoru: Kenshin no Baka!! You’ve made things worse! ::She whacks Kenshin who mutters a startled "Oro!?" and falls over, eyes spiraling:: Hiko (bored): Never expect my stupid pupil to do anything right. *** Back on the flight... Kai: I’m glad I made the plane! After all, I did come back from the dead for this. ::He plops down next to Mikagami and throws an arm around his shoulders:: Kai: After all, I have to take care of my Little Bro here. ::A huge sweatdrop appears on Mikagami’s forehead:: Saicho (trying to make pleasant conversation): So, when is Hanabishi-san going to open his presents? Recca: I don’t think I want to know what some of the people here got me... Mikagami (smirking): Who says we got you anything? Fuuko: Mi-chan, you’re so cruel. Kai: He is, isn’t he? ::The two laugh:: Mikagami (looking at the two sitting next to him): I’m in Hell. Stewardess: Ok, we’ll be taking off in a few minutes. Let me draw your attention to the safety pamphlets in front of you... ::Domon quickly grabs his and reads everything within carefully:: ::The stewardess finishes her explaination quickly, and Domon shakes with fear:: Domon: Did you hear that!? We might crash in WATER! We’re all going to die! I want off! ::He gets up and begins moving towards the door:: Mikagami: Idiot. Recca: Domon, you Mongoloid! You haven’t given me my present yet! Koganei: Sit down, Gorilla! Aki: I can take care of this one. Neon: Are you going to send him mental images like you did before? Aki: Even better. ::She pulls out a needle and pokes it into Domon’s arm. He yawns, the drugs taking effect immediately, and flops on top of the three women:: ::The others share one giant sweatdrop:: Yanagi: Anou...are you all still alive? Miki: Mmph...rhm hmph mhs! Minamio: I think they want the big brute off. Koganei: I say you should just leave them like that. ::Finally, Kurei and Raiha manage to pry Domon off:: Neon: Kurei-sama, you saved us! ::The three women glomp him making Kurei fall over, eyes spiraling:: Raiha (sweatdropping): No appreciation whatsoever... ::Slowly, the plane begins upwards...there’s no escape now! Hahahahahahahaha!:: Fuuko: Ara...where’s that evil laughter coming from? Koganei: I know that voice... Recca: You mean she really is on here!? The author!? Mikagami: Someone kill me. Genjuro (looking eager): May I? Just imagine how well the Shiki Gami would work with your hair! ::Mikagami facefaults:: Saicho: Something tells me this is going to be a long flight... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The End for now.... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-= That’s why I suck at parodies ^_- Oh, I haven’t seen all of Rurouni Kenshin, but I meant to write the Kenshin Gumi and friends OOC...seriously! Ganko: Baaaaka. ::Christina-chan sweatdrops:: I did include a small part for you Mikagami/Koganei fans ::eyes Hecate-chan and flashes a v-sign:: Why didn't I just go with the flow and seat them next to each other? Well...Rachel-chan, a friend of mine, celebrated her birthday a few days ago...the first part of this parody is part of the birthday present I'm giving her tomorrow ^_^ And...since she's such a big Mikagami/Fuuko fan I had to put that in for her. Oh, and I kinda stole the Kougon Anki-toaster joke from Sakura-chan who said she would probably turn the Kougon Anki into a microwave ^_^ I thought that was too funny! There’s more in store for the unfortunate Hokage as they are trapped aboard this evil ship. Stay tuned to find out what will happen next in chapter two of this horribly twisted parody: Gift Giving... or An Airborne Strip Club...