50 Ways To Have Fun At the Expense of Others

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99
copies.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

7. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."

8. Practice making fax and modem noises.

9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss.

10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "In accordance with prophecy."

12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

15. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email
correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

18. Honk and wave to strangers.

19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary
mints by the cash register.

20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

21. type only in lowercase.

22. dont use any punctuation either

23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

27. Ask people what gender they are.

28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

30. Sing along at the opera.

31. Page yourself over the intercom at school or work (Don't disguise your voice).

32. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

33. Encourage your classmates to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

34. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

35. Put soda with no caffeine in your friend's refrigerator for 3 weeks. Once they have gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to caffeine again

36. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

37. Ask your teachers what sex they are.

38. Sing along at assemblies and plays.

39. Go to poetry club and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

40. Find out where your teacher shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your teacher does (This is especially effective if your teacher is the opposite gender).

41. Send e-mails to the rest of the school to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

42. Put mosquito netting around your desk.

43. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

44. When the candy or soda comes out of the vending machine, scream "I Won! I Won! Third time this week!!!"

45. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

46. Every time you see a broom, yell "Hey guys, Bob is here!"

47. If your sneakers are too slippery for the gym floor, bring some maple syrup and squirt it all over the floor, then walk through it, and tada! No more slipperyness!

48. Whenever you see a cop, oink at him or say to a friend "I suddenly have a hankering for bacon."

49. Sit on your neighbor's lawn with a guitar, even if you don't know how to play it, and make up hippie songs off the top of your head, e.g. "We gotta stick together, we gotta save the earth, peace out man, come on, just peace out..." and insist
they pay you. (This works well if you are wearing shorts and a tie dye tshirt in the middle of December and it is snowing out)

50. Call random people on the phone, and as soon as they answer, start a conversation as if you know them, and when they ask who it is, act like you think they're joking, then say "Come on! You know who it is! It's your Uncle Sam!"