Here’s one that required almost no rewriting: this hymn to discretion being the better part of valor fits perfectly as it is:
I was getting on well
Down in old Rivendell
With a girl named Undómiel
When in walked a man
With a Ring on his hand
And he was looking for you know who.
He said, "Hey there, mortal
Why do you darken my portal?
Whatcha tryin' to prove?
'Cause that's my daughter there
And I'm an Elf-man who cares
And this might be it for you."
I said, "Excuse me"
I was scared and fearing for my life
I was shaking like a leaf on a tree
'Cause he was lean, mean
Big and bad, and
Pointin' that Ring at me.
I said “Come on, mister
I didn't even kiss her
We ain’t even plighted our troth.
And I know you don't owe me
But I wish you'd let me
Ask one favor from you."
"Oh, won't you
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, Elrond
Gimme three steps toward the door?
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, Elrond
And you'll never see me no more."
Oh, sure
Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
I was tremblin' like a flower
And I'm telling you, son
Well, it ain't no fun
Staring straight down a Ring of Power
Well, he turned and looked at Undómiel
And that's the break I was looking for
Well, you could hear me screaming a mile away
I was headed out toward the door
"Oh, won't you
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, Elrond
Gimme three steps toward the door?
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps, Elrond
And you'll never see me no more"
Show me the back door
