Traveling With Your Teen

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Avoiding The Headaches

     The family vacation.  To most of us this means time for fun, travel and togetherness.  For many teens, however, the family vacation is the equivalent of being held hostage.  Whether they feel they’re too old, don’t want to leave behind a new, or steady flame, or just can’t stand the idea of being trapped on the road with parents for long stretches of time, teens can be downright stubborn, difficult and occasionally, unmoving in their views.  If this sounds all to familiar read on to see how to get the most cooperation with the least amount of hassle.

UNCOVER THE REAL ISSUES

     Understanding where your teen is coming from is, at best, a frustrating experience, but a necessary step to gaining cooperation.  Start by sitting down with your teen for a good, old-fashioned, heart-to-heart.  They may have very valid reasons for not wanting to go along, and while staying home may not be an option, knowing what is causing the resistance can help guide you towards a solution.  The following issues are common concerns, or reasons, teens have for not wanting to take a family vacation.  There is no one solution that will work for every family, or every teen, but they can, at the very least, open the door to negotiation.  Just encourage your teen to be honest when discussing their concerns and reassure them they won’t be in trouble for voicing their opinions.  Sometimes, the bottom line is something very simple, but the teen is afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings.

·         Privacy: Every child reaches an age when privacy becomes of utmost importance and sharing a hotel room or camper with their parents, even a very big one, is no longer deemed acceptable. If you can afford to expense an adjoining room for the teen can solve the problem. Another option is to encourage the child to save up for this expense if there is enough time for the money to be earned.

·         Road Trips: Long road trips with parents isn’t any teens idea of a good time and if you think back you’ll probably agree it wasn’t yours either.  You may not be able to shorten the distance you need to travel, but you can take steps to make the trip itself more enjoyable.  If you teen is bothered by motion sickness take him/her to a doctor for medication.  Plan for frequent stops along the way for site seeing, food and rest.  Involve your teen in the planning of the routes and sites, if there is something they would like to do, or a place they’d like to see along the way, be open to suggestions.  Encourage them to bring along music/headphones, reading material (if they aren’t prone to motion sickness) or another activity to do along the way. 

·         Obligations.  As teens get older they have activities and obligations that can get in the way of their desire to take a family vacation.  Planning is crucial if you want to gain the most cooperation.  If possible plan family vacations at least five months in advance and clear the schedule with everyone ahead of time.  Don’t make plans for the day after the baseball season ends if there’s a chance your child’s team could make it to the playoffs, and don’t plan to travel during the biggest dance of the year.  If your teen if starting a new job, or already has one, remind them to put in for the days they will need off well in advance or they will forget and won’t want to ask on short notice.  Choosing your vacation dates carefully is the best way to ensure there is no last minute resistant due to other obligations.

·         Boredom:  Your teen may feel they are just too old for a family vacation, or that they will be board the whole time.  You can alleviate these concerns by including him/her in the planning of the vacation.  If you are considering several different destination, let your teen have the final say at where you’ll go.  Encourage them to study the area you’ll be staying in and choose one or two activities they could pursue on their own.  Travel agencies and tourism bureaus have information on activities, or use the web to research the area you’re traveling to. If your teen enjoys fishing or biking, and you have the ability, take along their equipment.

BEING FLEXIBLE

     While we may not like to admit it, there is no such thing as the perfect family vacation, and sometimes it is not our teen that is being unreasonable.  I have a friend who admitted he always hated going on vacation with his parents because they would only eat at certain “chains” along the way – even if that meant going without eating for long periods.  When I asked if he’d ever mentioned this to them he said yes, their reply was “this is how we do things”.  Period.  No discussion.

      Being flexible can make the difference between a “bad” vacation and one where everyone has a really great time.  If your child’s aversion to a trip is obvious take the time to try to fix it.  If your teen doesn’t want to leave behind a friend and you can afford an extra tag along, bring him, or her, with you.  It may not be your idea of a family vacation, but it might make it an enjoyable one.  If your teen wants a little more freedom, grant it.  If you learn to be flexible, your teen will be more willing to cooperate, and you all might just have so much fun you can’t wait to do it all again.  I can’t think of a truer measure of a successful family vacation than that, can you?

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