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My Talks With God~A Tribute to Rebecca
Today I was writing in my journal and began to think of the memories I have and how far back they go. Some of the
things I remember
are so far back that my brother and sisters say it must be something about which I have heard them talk. However I have
come up with things that they had no idea I could know. And it seems that the older I get, the farther back I remember.
For instance, now that I am almost sixty five, I can remember the first time I spoke to God. It was in the year of
our Lord, 1935, in January. I would be born the next year and God decided to make me aware of who and what I would be. I
do not know what I looked like and I can't remember his appearance very well, just that he had a big voice. He came over to
me and said he wanted to make me aware of what life would be like and what kind of person I would be so it wouldn't be a total
shock when I arrived on Earth and began my life.
He told me to pay attention and He began to tell me about myself after my birth. As he talked, my life was presented
to me as if in a movie and I was able to see myself and the things I would do after I was born and as I grew up. I watched
in wonder as different episodes of my existence unrolled before my eyes. I saw myself as a young boy, in and out of trouble
most of the time, mostly quiet and alone, and as I grew older the pattern of my life changed very little.
I began to understand what I was about and how I would live as I proceeded through life. I would not, of course, remember
this meeting with God after I came to be in my earthly form. However, I now realize why later, when something new happened
to me, it seemed as if it had happened before. Not many new things seemed to be surprising to me. Places I visited for the
first time were familiar to me, as if I had been there before, although I knew I had not. It was because before my birth,
God had given me this glimpse of my future life on earth. He told me that He does this for each person who is to be born.
My life wasn't anything special. I amounted to very little as I grew older and I spent much of my time in and out of
trouble. Materially I had very little. I stole what I wanted with no remorse. I came and went as I pleased and, although there
was family who tried to look after me, I did what I wished, right or wrong.
Finally, at age seventeen, I was brought before a probation officer who had known me professionally for many years,
and I was told I would be sent to prison for whatever my misdeed at that time had been. He was through dealing with me and
giving me more chances, enough was enough! I was terrified and asked for one last deal with him. If he would not send me to
prison, I would enlist in the US Army. He agreed and I enlisted for three years.
Then God said that was the end of the talk, that I would have to wait to be born to see the rest, the really important
things that would happen to me. He asked me if I noticed anything odd or unusual about what I saw. After pondering for a time
what I had seen, I said I had seen most of what would later be different aspects of my life, different emotions and feelings,
love, hate, desire, jealousy and lust. I noted I hadn't been a cruel person and had never intentionally done anything to harm
anyone or anything but, also, hadn't been very thoughtful toward others. I had lived within my self and for myself for the
most part and rarely if ever considered anyone else, either for good or bad. I had been bad much of the time and bad things
had happened to me as a result
Then a light came on in my mind and it dawned on me what was missing. It was 'good'. I had done very little that was
good for anyone, including my self, and not much good had happened to me. There was an abundance of 'bad' in my life and very
little 'good'. I saw a look in the eyes of God that told me I had noticed the main reason for this lesson I was getting from
Him.
I asked Him what I could do to change my life so it would have in it more 'good'. He said there was nothing I could
do. I asked him if I could make it through life without 'good' and He said no I couldn't but not to worry because someday
I would have all the 'good' I could ever want. I asked Him to tell me how I would know when that happened and He said no,
He would not tell me. He said that when it happened I would know. Then He told me we would talk again and He was gone. I was
born the next year.
Although I didn't remember the lesson from God, my life progressed as it had been told to me it would. I was the person
I was fated to be and lived just as I was supposed to, according to God's preview to me. Of course, never having been really
happy, I wasn't aware I wasn't happy. I just lived from day to day and that was enough for me.
Then I went into the Army and began my service to my country. Much of it was just doing as I was told and trying to
stay out of trouble. I tried to get overseas duty but couldn't so, after basic training in California, I spent the rest of
my tour of duty at Fort Bliss, Texas.
While I was there a girl I had known in Odessa, Texas, came to Fort Bliss and, after a day or two, she and I married.
Our life was uneventful for a time with nothing outstanding happening to us. Then on August fourteenth, 1956, something happened
that would change my life forever.
Sometime during that day a nurse at William Beaumont Hospital, Fort Bliss, Texas, handed me a small bundle. I took
the bundle into my arms, very careful to hold it just right. My heart pounded and I felt weak and anxious. I moved the edge
of the blanket that surrounded the tiny bundle and gazed upon the most beautiful sight my eyes had ever beheld! I could not
speak. I could hardly breath. The tiny face that peered back at me was so radiant I was dumbstruck. She was such a lovely
vision I could not begin to describe the feeling I got by just holding and looking at her. Looking at her and holding her
made my heart soar to Heaven. Then, from my total existence, I heard the voice of God for the second time.
He said," James, as I promised you, here for you is a lifetime of pure 'Goodness'. Love and cherish this child
and you will know 'Goodness' Forever! She is Rebecca!"
I loved her and watched her grow and she was always kind, considerate, compassionate and good. As a reward to her, God
had made her 'good' for everyone who met her. She always had a ready smile and she had enough smiles so she could give at
least one, sometimes two, to everyone she met. She always had enough goodness to go around and she made everyone she met happy.
For whatever reason, Rebecca and I parted for a time. I saw her occasionally and accepted her love and her smile. She
married and had children of her own. Her life was an inspiration to everyone who knew her. She was a wonderful wife to her
husband and a loving mother to her children.
Some time later, Rebecca and I had a private talk. She had questions for me about things she couldn't understand. I
answered her questions and we cried together and she said she finally understood what had bothered her. She told me she loved
me and I told her I had always loved her. We became closer than we ever had been. I was with her at every opportunity. Donna
and I planned every vacation we could to be with her. She was a joy and a blessing. She was all the 'good' I could ever want.
Then one day Rebecca was attacked by a vicious disease. There was no reason for it. It was a mistake. But the demon disease
didn't care that it had the wrong person. This could not be happening to Rebecca, but it was. She began treatment to defeat
the disease and for a while it seemed she would win her battle. At one point there was no trace of the demon left and Rebecca
was filled with joy and we all thanked God for delivering her from the fate she had faced.
Then something happened. No one knew why but the disease returned with a vengeance. This time there was no reprieve.
Rebecca suffered for over a year then, when there was no hope left except for the miracle she and I had prayed for, she left
the hospital at Denver and went home to Colorado Springs.
I called her several times every day and we talked briefly. She gave me a kiss and told me she loved me. I returned
her kiss and said I loved her. Then one day I called her and she could hardly talk. She gave me a last kiss and I told her
I loved her we agreed to meet in Heaven. Later that day she died.
That night Donna and I cried for Rebecca. We were sad for Rebecca and the life she didn't get to finish. How could this
terrible thing happen to someone as perfect, as loving, as caring and compassionate, as 'good' as Rebecca? There was no good
reason for it. It made no sense that death could take someone who deserved to live many more years. The world would be worse
off now. Everyone would grieve for her and suffer her loss. Mostly she would be cheated out of the rest of her life! It was
wrong and I told God so. I railed at Him and asked Him why he had let this happen. I told Him of the many hundreds of people
who had prayed for His help and mercy for Rebecca. I asked where the Merciful God was who could have performed the miracle
we prayed for. I told Him He was wrong and unmerciful and could not be counted upon.
God listened for a time then He spoke to me for the third time. He said," James, I know you are sad and I don't
blame you but I had a good reason for taking Rebecca to Heaven. The World has been getting more wicked for many years and
more and more people are leaving Me and following the Devil. The Angels and My Son and I have had to give more and more goodness
to everyone, the older people and the younger people, even the newborns. It is such a chore that sometimes I lose track of
what is going on around me. In Heaven We had given out so much goodness that things were beginning to change. Heaven is only
as big as the goodness that is there. One day awhile back I noticed Heaven getting smaller. After checking things over I realized
we were having to give out so much goodness that we were using up Heaven. I spoke to My Son and the Angels and we decided
that to save Heaven for all Eternity, We had to replace the goodness we had given out for the last million years. Then we
began the search for that amount of 'goodness' and the only place we found enough 'goodness' to last for all Eternity was
in a Precious Child named Rebecca. So, James, you can see why I had to take Rebecca to her Heavenly Home sooner than I wanted
to. It was to save Heaven for all Eternity. Now the danger is gone forever.
As you can see, I couldn't argue with the reasoning of God. I understand why He decided to do what He did. I know that
no one else on Earth could do what Rebecca has done in saving Heaven. Still, I love and miss her so much; we all do. We'll
see her again in Heaven.
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