Well hello there, moose afficionados. Welcome to this week's True Cross Competition. Every week, one lucky contestant will have the chance to win an authentic Holy Relic, a piece of the True Cross, the same one that was used at the Passion (according to St Matthew, at any rate). Some of the sceptics among you may doubt that I have in my possession the True Cross, but you would be people who have never witnessed the amazing bargains that one can make in the flee markets of Zug, in Switzerland. All sorts of things are sold for ridiculously low prices at these events, and some real gems can be found in the midst of the piles of old tableware. For example, I have acquired a signed photograph of Errol Flynn, a working set of bagpipes, a Knight Rider commemorative plaque, and now, the True Cross. Having acquired such a piece of World Heritage as this, I decided to share it with the rest of humanity. This is why every week, I will saw off a piece of it and send it to a deserving winner.
All that you have to do to become the proud owner of one of these priceless relics is to answer the following simple questions, and the tie-breaker question. Winners will be notified by email.














Question 1: According to Gene Kelly, in Singin' in the Rain, "Moses supposes his toeses are roses..." 
   "... what Moses proposes is insanity"

   "...'cause Moses's toeses smell quite flowery" 

   "... but Moses supposes erroneously"

Question 2: In your opinion, in which language does Genesis, Chapter 1, verse 3, sound better? 
   "And God said: "Let there be light!". And there was light."

   "Et Dieu dit: "Que la lumiere soit!". Et la lumiere fut."

   "Und Gott sprach: "Es werde Licht!". Und es ward Licht." 
[Note to the pedants out there: "ward" is archaic German, which is why it seems to be incorrect, but it isn't.]

   "Dio disse: "Sia la luce!". E la luce fu."

Question 3: The Supreme Pontife recently announced that Sir Thomas More would henceforth be the patron Saint of politicians in general. But who is the patron saint of Tony Blair's "New" Labour Party in particular?
   Saint Niccolo di Bernardo dei Macchiavelli (b. 1469 - d. 1527)

   Saint Macbeth (d. 1057)

   Saint Anthony Blair (b. Not very long ago - d. The New Dark Age)

Tie-breaker question: "Verily I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall bind on Earth shall be bound in Heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on Earth shall be loosed in Heaven". Do you reckon that God trusts our judgement rather more than is reasonable?


"Holy True Cross of Our Lord
Jesus Christ, Batman! Last time, you
questioned papal infallibility,
but this time, you're actually doubting
the Lord Himself!"


"Well yes, but this semblance of scepticism
is designed to backfire on the Heretics,
as the ensuing discussion will prove
that such doubts are absolutely unfounded,
you timorous role-model for closet homosexuals!"





Please visit the True Cross Competition Forum for previous weeks' answers, competition winners, entries and discussion of the various topics.
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