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December 20, 2005

Well we were on the radio! The show is still on the page as of now, I think it stays up for a week... go to Radio Ulster - Talk Back Show - Monday 19th. We tried all night to record it on the computer but couldn't make it work...might have had something to do with the 2 bottles of champagne we consumed.  We are in the first 5 minutes if you want to listen. Anyway, we were on for quite a bit actually (all but the part where I said "bullshit", which is too bad cause I was making a very good point about separating religious beliefs from civil laws). It was cool! Although it seems we are always on the radio and never on the TV. Must be too ugly!

Today was my last day of work before xmas break! I now have 20 consecutive work-free days. Yippee!!!!!

December 19, 2005

WEDDING DAY!!! Ok not my wedding day. But the first civil partnerships in all of the United Kingdom took place today in Northern Ireland and I was there to cheer on the couple that was the first, interestingly enough a bi-national couple like ourselves: American/N. Irish.

It was all very exciting because it was the first one and there were so many media people there. Coll and I did a quick interview forTalk Back Radio Ulster... dunno if we made the air or not, I inadvertently swore so maybe not! I'm sure we'll turn up on the news tonight too cause there were so many cameras everywhere! I am in danger of courting attention of this sort. I was all smiling for my close-up! Ha. Anyway the radio show should be online tomorrow.

There were also the usual crowd out protesting with their placards and banners, with their dour and sour faces. They became quite aggressive when people (namely PA McLoglainn) argued with them. But these two other fellows stole the show! Dressed up as a parody of the protesters (bad suit jackets, heavy glasses, fake moustaches) but with no pants on - just their tidy-whities (must have been freezing!), these two guys jumped on the bandwagon (literally- there was a giant lorry with a full sized billboard condemning homosexuality) and "joined" in waving their own signs and sneering at the supporters. Their signs read "Earth is Flat" and "Bring Back Slavery". It was hysterical.

Anyway, we got to see the couple go inside and then we waited outside to try to drown out the protesters with "All you need is Love" We threw flowers when their car left and the various reporters and camera people ate it up with a spoon. A very exciting morning!

December 15, 2005

I can't tell you how much this depresses me! What is going on with DC? It almost makes me miss the squalor of china town. I am afraid it will be much changed since I was last there. What's this about Urban Outfitters at Gallery Place? A movie theatre, bowling alley - its like a giant suburban mall has opened. I bet its full of "those" people as well. You know who you are former frat boys of mid-western colleges!

I'll be home soon though. Get ready DC Rhinos!

December 11, 2005

I just got this photo in the ole email. This is Colleen and i with a famous person. True, i had never heard of her but apparently Nuala McKeever is a comedienne and a big hit with the lesbians - we met her at the LASI web launch. Then i got us tickets to her one woman show since she happened to be in town. She was very nice but i kinda hated her act. It seemed to pander to the attitudes of a generation ago. Of course this is Ireland. We are definitely at least a generation behind!

December 5, 2005

The Civil Partnership Act went into effect today. It’s a victory and all but I still can’t help feeling kinda depressed about the whole thing. I mean the excitement that everyone is feeling is creating a pressure to be happy! And for god’s sake we can’t have that.

We went to a screening of “Same Sex America” last night which was about the first gay marriages in Massachusetts.  I’ll admit I cried a bit. Here in the UK we aren’t getting “marriage” but civil partnerships which is basically the same but has some differences when it comes to joint parental and adoption rights. Of course in Mass. they aren’t getting federal rights like immigration which are soooooo important to us bi-national couples.

Speaking of which, we met a couple last night that are like us, one American, one northern Irish. They are getting hitched on the first day they can legally (Dec. 19) to solve their immigration worries. Since I am all legal here there is no rush for colleen and I to run to city hall and I think that is contributing to the weird feeling I have.

I want to do the “civil onion” thing in principal (I have whole other issues with the “separate is not equal” bit) but I wish it was occurring more naturally. If the law was never an impediment, I believe coll and I would have made it official years ago when we first decided to live together in the same country for keeps. 4 years later it seems contrived to have a big ceremony and all but I also feel I need to because it was a hard won victory and to assert the fact that gay couples can and should have the “big day” however they want same as straight folk (still working to combat colleen’s northern Irish internalised homophobia). Plus whether we do the big wedding or not, we’ll sure as hell get partnered or whatever they call it to get all the rights we have coming to us – and keep pushing for full equality.

So how unromantic is that? Not “darling, I love you and I want to be with you forever”, but “hey, now that we finally can, ya wanna take advantage of most of the rights and responsibilities afforded to straight couples?”  It’s a bit of a let down, seems I am a romantic at heart.

 November, all of it, 2005

Ok lots of stuff happened in November. I forgot to write it down. We bought a house (see entry below where I talk about the badly decorated house), we saw Miss Saigon from the worst seats in the opera house, we took a small child to the zoo in the freezing rain and we did other stuff that is just not as memorable or written down in my date book.

 HALLOWEEN! October 31, 2005

So this year we really got our acts together. We went as WhinoRhinos! There was paper maché involved and everything.  Our dear friend Oliver had a small gathering which allowed us to premier our ensembles amongst like-minded individuals. Here are some photos…

      

October 19, 2005

House hunting sucks. We've lost out on two houses in one week...outbid! Prices are rising before my very eyes. So we keep looking and keep looking. Saw one the other night that still had a toilet in the back yard! Charming original feature...too bad I can't say the same for the inside of the house. This place was "decorated" within an inch of its life. Stripes, flowers, 17 layers of paint and stencils everywhere! Sconces affixed to any surface that would stand still. They'd also taken out the original fireplaces and replaced them with really really ugly ones that don't suit the house. It was very depressing. The woman was very proud of all her decor unfortunately...luckily colleen is diplomatic enough to say something like "its very homely" while I tried not to gag! It would take forever and loads of money to restore to normal - but its the only thing on the market in the area we like. Can't dilly dally or it will be gone! Argh!

October 17, 2005

I'm just back from a weekend with the youth of the Village at Lusty Beg Island. We actually had a great time - beautiful island which would be ideal for a nice local break (if it weren't now tainted with memories of the Youth Forum). We got to do some fun activities too including 4x4 off road driving. I was GREAT at it - I think I'll become a stunt driver...Also did archery and canoeing which made me pine for my youthful summers at Deep Creek Lake, Maryland.

September 19, 2005

Aaarggh, 'tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day, you scurvy land loving curs! (Or as EE would have it, ITLAP Day, such a fan of the initials is she)
So, as promised, here are some choice sayings that Scurvy Pirates Never Say:

First, the original list dating all the way back to 1996 when three drunken yanks confused the people of Ireland by running around the country saying things like: Arrrggh, I need a manicure! Would you like your daily vitamin supplement, aarggh? Arrrgggh, my psychiatrist says I'm transferring my anger at my mother. Would ye like some vegemite (arrrgggh)? Aaaarrrggghh you going to Scarborough Fair? Would ye like another slice of quiche, aarrgghh?

Now the new submissions just in time fore ITLAP Day '05:

• Arrggh, can I have a mojito?

• Arrggh, can ye tell I’ve been using Crest WhiteStrips?

• Arrggh, have ye read the latest Oprah book club selection?

And last but not least, a classic Colleen one - this is a thinker now...

• Sure, kill the parrot.

Don't worry, it's never to late to send in your Things Scurvy Pirates Never Say! After all, here at the WRP, after enough mojito's, everyday is ITLAP Day!

September 16, 2005

Sent home early AGAIN! Guess its just not safe to hang in the Village today...or people want a half day and civil unrest is a handy out. Not to make light of the very serious violence that is occurring but it is getting ridiculous - I haven't worked a full day this whole week and now its the weekend so "protesters'" efforts will be redoubled (why on the weekend - no idea, its not like these people have jobs! yeah yeah I know that's part of the problem)

On a happier note, preparations at the WRP are now in full swing for September 19, International Talk Like a Pirate Day! I believe I have mentioned this day in the past, particularly as I so enjoy playing the game "Things Scurvy Pirates Never Say" . ( A diversion invented on my first trip to Ireland with fellow scurvy pirates EE and young Brian of my college days) The classic opening line of this game is usually "Aaarrggghhh, I need a pedicure!" I'd love to hear from my faithful reader(s) with anything that they think Scurvy Pirates Never Say. Perhaps I'll list my favourites on Sept. 19.

September 13, 2005

Got a little ditty in the ‘ole inbox today and since I seem to be ranting on about the no good kids and their “recreational rioting” I thought I’d share. (Sing this to the tune of that Belfast favourite “The Belle of Belfast City” which apparently is really called “I’ll tell my ma”) 

I'll tell my ma when I get in
That I've just torched a wheelie bin
I pushed it up to a peelers car
Then went and robbed the local Spar
It's not handsome it's not pretty
It's a stain on Belfast city
But it makes me oh so cool
Loads more fun than Primary school.

September 12, 2005

Just when you think summer's over...riots break out in Belfast! The worst violence in years broke out all over the place over the weekend and looks set to continue this week. Its Monday at 2pm and I am at home because our office closed due to "protests" about to take place in the area. Mind you, a free afternoon is a free afternoon, but even though it is all sunny and loverly out I can't go anywhere! Getting really annoyed about the backsliding going on and even more annoyed at how children and teenagers are being used as pawns in the traditional paramilitary game of havoc-wreaking. Here's an article from the Belfast Telegraph that seems to explain it well. I am worried about the kids I work with, even if they are not involved, they sure as hell are going to go have a look see at anything that happens - and with burning cars and police land rovers on three sides of the Village last night, I doubt they'll want to miss out on anything so exciting.

September 8, 2005

It's official. My two years are up and I got my residence permit in the mail today. I live in the UK. For good. Kinda an anti-climax I'll admit, but sooooo glad all that is over!

September 7, 2005

It was like running the gauntlet of drunken crazed football hooligans today on my way home from work. Apparently there's some little match tonight at Windsor Park between Northern Ireland and England. There is a bar at the corner of Sandy Row and Donegall Road where there are always a few drunks perching their beers outside on a trashcan... but tonight it was more like 300 of them. And then all of a sudden they were everywhere - a sea of  football tops and bizarre wigs and headpieces - all shouting and singing unintelligibly. Then I did something even braver - I went into the off licence at Bradbury Place...packed with the bloody bastards buying more and more drink! They looked drunk enough to me! All the way home I passed packs of them shouting and singing something about "We're not Brazil, we're Northern Ireland". As if you could confuse the two!

August 30, 2005

Have I complained about my evil, obnoxious, techno music loving, drug dealing, threesome having (we think!) neighbours before? They live below us and listen to some of the WORST "music" I've ever heard at the oddest hours. Basically whenever I am tired, have a headache, want to relax... that's when the music comes on. BOOM BOOM BOOM right up through the walls louder in our apartment than in theirs. Granted - this building is made of paper mache but still. They will sometimes have it on from midnight straight through to the next afternoon and there's no talking to them cause they are drugged out of their brains (the only way you could listen to that racket for so long. ANYWAY... I think they are moving out. There is definite packing going on. They have loaded up a couple of car loads since I've been home from work. Fingers crossed this is it. Also pray we don't get worse neighbours! Crying baby comes to mind....We continue to house hunt - finally sold our house for real - got the money and all - but there is nothing to buy in B'fast that I like and can afford. That and the cheaper neighbourhoods to the north seem to be getting scarier and scarier. Lots of unrest in the city these summer nights...

August 29, 2005

Hurricane! Katrina is wiping out New Orleans! My uncommunicative sister did manage to reply to a text that she is alive. She and her BF Michael have fled to Florida. We hope the goat is ok! The news is looking scary though, the city is underwater... only time will tell but it looks really really bad.

August 25, 2005

OMG! The Capital Lounge has burned down! EE is distraught. Whinorhino's in SW are in mourning. Our spiritual home and place of ultimate worship... this loss is deeply felt...

August 24, 2005

Last night was the Tennents Vital O5 concert, headlined by the Scissor Sisters. They were great even though it was raining and all. Quote of the night "Belfast is the most important meal of the day. Everyone should have a big Belfast in the morning" Also on the bill were Franz Ferdinand ( i was in line for beer during this) Maroon 5 ("We love you Burgundy!" shouts colleen), Jem and some local acts. We spent the night in line for various things, beer food and toilet but managed to get enough drink etc for the big act at the end. We also sent about 50,000 texts to friends that were no doubt four feet away but we never found all night long!

August 22, 2005

What a month, I can hardly remember my vacation. I think I need another one. I'm in the middle of my "summer scheme" for the no good kids in the Village - an area in Belfast. The first day of the scheme was marked by a shooting in Sandy Row and the street being closed preventing me from getting to work at all. There was also a "punishment" over the weekend involving tying up a teenager who apparently had been breaking into houses in the area to a light post and dousing him in paint and and other stuff while the neighbours looked on. Basically modern-day tar and feathering and throwing stuff at a prisoner in the stocks all rolled up into one.  So civilised that this is how crime is dealt with in today's Belfast.

The summer has actually been marked by what seems like a lot of violence attributed to the Loyalist feud and I for one am souring on Belfast over it. No neighbourhood seems exempt, not the ones we can afford and it is putting me off buying a house here. A 15 year old was stabbed walking home in what I thought was quite a nice part of North Belfast last week. I know more people get killed in DC by far, (statistics can be obtained by contacting Charles E. King, expert on everything) but you sure hear about it more here!

I was going to write something else, something happy and now i can't remember what that was...I'll try again later. Tomorrow I am going to a big concert in the park - headliners include Scissor Sisters and Franz Ferdinand so that should be good!

July 22, 2005

Am I the only one who thinks Cillit Bang sounds dirty? Here's a guy who thinks it sounds like a dance track...Turn up the volume!

July 20, 2005

It really is special coming back to Northern Ireland appreciative for once of the cold and rain. Ok maybe not the rain. I’m just back from my fabulous holiday to Greece, completely wishing I was anywhere else than at the computer. But since I am I might as well write this journal rather than work! So I’ll tell you a bit about

“My Holiday to Kos Island, Greece”

Our trip started well, cruising out of town late Sunday evening with the top down and the windows open (ok the sunroof was open – no convertible yet) on our way to Dublin airport. As usual the car almost scuppered us by over heating but we still made it there in good times despite a detour to Newry – no reason to go back to that town! Anyhoo – everything was fine and dandy, even the flight which arrived in the middle of the night/crack of dawn was not too bad (although I watched “Taxi” inflight). After what seemed like a whole lot of waiting and not sleeping we arrived at Hotel Nefeli with some fellow weary travellers and checked into their “self-catering apartments”. Well it was bad – not unclean or anything, just uncomfortable and about a million miles from the luxury accommodation one expects from a island resort. It was two single beds pushed together with a big gap between them, not that there was any hope of romance cause we were sooooo tired (and later cause it was too hot to touch another person!) But we were too tired to complain and as the sun came up we went to sleep (only to be promptly awoken by the rooster and cows just next door!) Suffice it to say that between the several barking dogs, farm animals and neighbour children I didn’t sleep very much all week which is why I am soooo damn tired still.

 Right, so the first day we wake up to the hottest brightest sun you have ever seen. The whole island looked scorched like it hadn’t precipitated in years. And it was hot. HOT HOT. Like 40+ degrees centigrade. (damn Europeans have me thinking in centigrade for hot but I still think in Fahrenheit for cold… weird I know) Anyway, I can condense most of the trip by saying I was hot and tired but it was also really beautiful and relaxing. There wasn’t a whole lot to do and after we’d rented bikes and seen the sights we basically sat by the pool or on the beach periodically cooling ourselves in the water. Oh and then we’d eat and drink a whole lot and repeat the process the next day… Pictures over in the pictures section...

Highlights and points of Interest include: 

1. The Temple and Alter of Dionysus, the greek god of wine. As a whinorhino, this is a scared spot and I was sure to take many pictures even if it meant getting my shoes scruffed and nearly dying of heat stroke cycling to it.
2. Hippocrates’s tree. Yeah, other people get alters, the founder of modern medicine gets a tree. But there was also a café there that had really really good sandwiches.
3. Shananigans – of course there is an irish bar on Kos. Actually there are about 12 or so I’d say. But we were forced to go to this one by the dour faced holiday rep Roisin to find out the details of our return flights etc. I’ve never seen irish so desperate to remain irish when abroad, and that’s saying something. Shenanagins was over the top and i couldn’t wait to get out!
4. Greek night – we actually went to 2 traditional greek nights – the first was a total bust – a tourist trap of the worst kind but the second, at our hotel was good fun because the food was great, we were drunk and there were people there crazier than us.
5. Smoking a strawberry from a hookah. Nikos, our new Greek boyfriend and proprietor of Hotel Nefeli, taught us how to smoke fruit. Weird I know but oddly tasty.
6. Tim and Wendy – these people are actually named Dave and Karen if you are interested, but we know them as Tim and Wendy thanks to the antics of Moira and Susan (the nutters pictured dancing and smoking with us at Greek night). But back to Tim and Wendy. They were our Australian tour guides for the crappy Greek night and to Turkey. Tim constantly referred to Wendy as “the wife” but it was clear who the brains of the operations was since Tim repeated himself about 50 times no matter what he was trying to express. He also had a host of expressions like “put on your shopping head” that really grated on my last nerve. I was so close to telling him to fuck off even though he was trying to be nice. Fortunately no blood was shed, but I came close to pushing ole Tim off a mountain or two.
7. Trip to Bodrum, Turkey. Because we had to check out at 12 and our return flight was not until 5 am the next morning (I know, cheap flights) we decided to go to Turkey for the day to kill some time.  Well it wasn’t until Tim had us gathered round in the burning hot sun ( I was hungover of course from the good greek night) at the harbour lecturing us on Turkish lire and exchange rates and using our shopping heads, that he slipped into the conversation that it is always hotter in Turkey than on Kos. Like 10-20 degrees hotter. And although I had acclimated a bit and it had cooled somewhat since our first days, I was in no state to take on a trip to a hotter place. Well we went anyway, and braved the gauntlet of tourist shops and men calling out to come here and buy this and special price for you! I bought nothing but water. Colleen got one thing for her brother in law strangely enough and that was our day. Oh but then we did also go to the Bodrum Gold Centre and look at expensive jewellery too. And of course have a whopping big dinner complete with belly dancing for all the eager tourists looking on.

The trip back was much worse than the trip there  - also an over night event with the bus to the airport at 2:30am, the plane at 5am landing in Dublin at 7:30am (2 hour time difference in the flight) getting to our car at 9am and arriving at my bed at 11:03am. I hadn’t properly slept in days due to drinking a lot and going to turkey and staying up all night. Anyway, I’m back 2 days now, have slept and done many loads of laundry. I don’t want to sound like I complained the whole time, but I kinda did. Did I mention it was wile hot? No need to worry, I’m back in Northern Ireland, it’s never hot.

 July 1, 2005

Last night we were soooo cultured. Seriously. We went to an opera in the Botanic Gardens. It was Puccini's La Boehme. We packed a picnic and some wine and a blanket and everything. In fact we were amongst the Belfast elite (don't laugh!) enjoying the music and the fading sunshine - twas an amazing day - when some drunken boys stumbled by us. It was none other than Donal and Adam our recent acquaintances from such nights at drunkenness at the Union karaoke after booking a random holiday to a greek island. Anyway, they were exhibiting wonderful whinorhino tendencies and invited us to join their party a few meters away on the lawn. How could we refuse. Long story short, we had WAY more wine and i have no idea how La Boehme ends. Someone dies i think...

May 31, 2005

My last Wine Appreciation class was last night. I will miss it, trying all those delicious wines, strolling drunkenly around Queen's pretending to be a real student. I miss student life...but I will NOT miss being hung-over on Tuesdays! That's what Thursday is for.

This weekend we did more house stuff. Went to Derry to re-flat pack all our furniture, bought a big pot to transport my wee tree and other lucky garden items that are coming with me. Then on Monday we went to look for places to put all this stuff. Saw a beautiful huge house in North Belfast. (go to 14 Glandore Avenue from that page) An absolute mansion but it needed too much work for our limited experience and budget. I dunno I still like it. Got lots more to see though and its wearisome...

May 25, 2005

Colleen's friend from school days, one Miss Claire Browne, got married this weekend and became Mrs. Tree. Well I can't remember the groom's name - all I know is his friends call him tree from some reason. I asked at the reception and never got a satisfactory answer. oh well. Anyway most of the pictures were taken by some drunk woman (that's her in the middle shot) so they aren't very good but here are a few just so you can see what a great time we had. I meant to take a picture of my shoes for EE since she is always photoing her new shoes... New Shoes! Well hell - hang on I'll get my camera.

     

hee hee ok here are my shoes taken from different angles and on 2 surfaces... 

May 10, 2005

I hate my job. I broke the copier, the printer won't print anything in the middle of the page and I managed to book meetings every night for the rest of my life.

Also my boss was not elected to the local council. Neither was Cat, my old classmate...so much for my political influence! Now where is that wine?

May 9, 2005  

So let me bring you, loyal reader, up to speed with the rest of the exciting performances at the Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival! An action packed weekend has left me worse for the wear...

Friday night was "Prince Buster", self proclaimed-granddaddy of ska. Well I thought it was more reggae than ska, but I suppose its evolved since he invented it. The man is like 70. I've never heard of him, but he packed the festival with the most bizarre collection of people.  They loved him! I found him rude actually. The tipping point was a song whose chorus was "China Man You Stole My Land" which, given Belfast's current problem of beating up Chinese people, seemed a tad on the racist side to me! I was afraid he was going to start in on the gays next...if he did, I didn't notice cause I stopped listening to the words but I must say there was a high lesbian count at the show so maybe he didn't dare! It was a pretty good night anyway cause we met up with some girls from my work and engaged in dangerous binge-drinking practices both before during and after the performance in several area pubs...

On Saturday, I was very excited for 2 performances. The first of which we nearly couldn't find because it was in a car park. It was a play called "Parallel Parking" and the audience had to traipse around Donegal Quay Multi-Storey car park following the shady characters that were up to no good and the hapless office temp that was trying to deliver a package. I must say I enjoyed it very much, it was really funny and even sweet, but it was f***ing freezing. A nice enough day out, it was just damn cold when you are up 7 stories in an open air parking lot standing for an hour. Anyhoo, it was good.

So then to warm up we went to dinner in the first place we could find. It was actually quite fancy McHughs I think, but the food wasn't all that! So we overpaid for dinner and decided to move on for drinks elsewhere. We explored the cathedral quarter a bit more, and had a drink a few places to kill time before the main event...

Ardal "Father Dougal Maguire" O'Hanlon! For those of you not familiar with Dougal you should definitly watch some FatherTed as it is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. My dear Ardal has gone on to do other shows but he will always be Dougal to me. He did his stand-up routine for us at the Festival Marquee, following a kilt-wearing, song-singing, audience-heckling, gay in the extreme, Scottish boy who opened for him. I must say 'ole Ardal seemed a tad nervous and a bit shy. He wasn't sure what to make of Belfast. "What can I talk about, I can't ask you your religion!" And he did admonish us for voting DUP in the recent election...then he seemed to think maybe he shouldn't bring it up - it was a pretty big crowd! He also talked about his fear of octopuses a lot...AND in a bid to win the hearts and minds of the drunk people in the audience shouting "ARSE" and "DRINK" a la Father Jack - he sang "My Lovely  Horse" - Dougal's tribute to...his lovely horse. Funny!

On Sunday I didn't leave the house. Not once. I didn't get out of my pyjamas even. I was tired. But not too tired to overindulge in wine tasting rendering me useless for the long Monday ahead...

May 5, 2005  

ELECTION DAY!!!!! Yes, it’s a double election day here in the UK. The excitement is… well not really all that palpable. Even though I actually know some candidates! Former classmate Catriona and current boss Paula are both standing for local council seats, Downpatrick and South Belfast respectively. It takes forever to get the returns though so I’ll not know who wins locally till like Monday night or so…oh and also Tony Blair and some other guys are up for election over at that parliament thing in England… 

More exciting than that, in a continued bid to be more cultured and get out of the tiny apartment more, I went to a dramatic production of “A Clockwork Orange” last night at a trendy nightclub called the Potthouse.  Unfortunately I have somehow made it this far in life with having read the book or seen the movie, so it was a bit of a shock. I did have a vague idea of the plot and I knew that it was violent. It was. But I must commend the actors, especially the guy who played Alex on an exceptional performance and a brilliant use of the space. It was theatre in the round (or on 3 sides anyway) in the actual dance club. The audience sat on some really uncomfortable risers, benches, and even on the bar and the players leapt about on top of furniture and swung from the poles and used the bar as part of the play. They even used the bathroom for one scene (the rape and murder of the wife) and filmed themselves doing it used a camcorder sending the images back into the main space so the audience could see what was going on. Pretty horrific but just far enough removed through grainy images and swerving camera movements to get the idea across without actually making the audience sick. So I give it two thumbs up. It was very well done, the lead actor certainly carried the show and more than made up for some lesser performances, and it was a very good idea to stage it in a non-theatre space like a night club. 

I guess I should read the book now…I kinda don’t want to see the movie since I’m told it is way more violent than what we saw last night, which was pretty horrific for being so close to it all. The Potthouse was cool- I guess it’s a pretty poseury sort of place (I mean it has glass floors so you can see straight up three stories watching people dance from beneath) but it also has an outside part that will be very nice for an evening drink this summer! 

We’re seeing another play this weekend and a comic (Dougal from Father Ted!) and some music thing that should be…interesting. I didn’t pick that last one…

May 3, 2005 

My Colleen is a doll. Guess what was waiting for me when I came home today?  The new John Prine CD! It’s pretty good actually; I listened to it twice and had a nice chuckle to myself. Thanks darling! 

Oh and thanks for this link to the bunnies too.  This 30 Second Bunny Theatre  is funny! 

May 2, 2005 

May Day Bank Holiday!!!!!  I love this country, so many bank holidays. Last night I went to John Prine Night at the John Hewitt bar as part of the Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival… Kerry from work and I have planned to go to many of the events this week so I am all a-hoo. And I love John Prine. Previously I was a fan of the lyrics (see the John Prine Shrine to appreciate!) but now I am of the music as well! AND to top it all off, the bass player in the band is the stock “boy” (easily 65-70 years of age) from the Spinning Wheel where I temped in November. Ah good times. 

April 26, 2005 

So I am a wine snob now – should I change the name of the site? I had my first Wine Appreciation class last night at Queens University with Professor Alistair. This is the greatest class ever. For two hours we tasted different wines and “appreciated” them. Oh and the best part was that I joined this wine of the season club which sent me a fancy carrying case for my wine and wine glasses in case I feel the need to appreciate out of doors. They also sent me the introductory package of 15 wines – so needless to say there will be a lot of appreciation going on at our house this spring.

April 16, 2005 

I am still not recovered from last night. I am sick to my stomach and horrified by the whole thing. And I hardly even had a drink! Let me tell you the tale if I can with out reliving the trauma too much… 

It started out so well. Colleen and I went out to celebrate because we agreed an offer on our house. I wanted to go to this cute little restaurant, Darcy’s, which I had noticed walking past Bradbury place just a few blocks from us. So we dressed up and went over about 8pm hoping to get a table. What luck, one table for two left in this bijou, quaint, busy restaurant. 

Now to appreciate the story you need to know that this place is packed. And the tables are about 2 inches away from each other. We are the second to last table in the row closest to the kitchen, and the last table is occupied by a middle aged couple who politely scootched over to let me in to sit on the long bench seat that ran along the wall. I am now sitting next to the middle aged woman and colleen is in a chair opposite me next to the man. On the other side of us is a young couple with a lot of fake tan and bling. 

We sit down, order some wine and some appetisers and are chatting gleefully over our house sale and of course dissing the crack-whores that we kicked out of our house. The older couple to my left start making small talk with us and seem quite friendly and normal, if a bit irritating. But then our food comes so we think, ok now we’ll just go back to our own meals and small talk is over. Well NO. It would seem that these people have gone from semi-over friendly and buzzed to drunk and obnoxious. Marie, as the woman was named, would not let me alone to eat and kept asking me a million questions while of course telling me her life story about how her first husband was mean to her and she was better off with out him but she has no friends yadda yadda. Colleen was having to contend with Willie who took his teeth out and put them in his pocket to eat.  Eeek. We didn’t want to be rude to them because that would ruin our meal as much or more than they were already, so we were polite and answered their questions and smiled a lot of forced smiles. Well our main course came and I did my best to make it clear that our conversation was over now, but there was no where to go – no where to run to! The place was so packed we couldn’t even move an inch or two away. And at this point Marie is practically on top of me. She is even leaning across our table to pick a fight with the over- tanned people to our right! Willie, perhaps having seen this happen before, and had who  must have had some sense left, decided they better leave and said he would go to the bathroom and then they were leaving.  

Well, as soon as he got up, she went absolutely insane. She kept hitting my arm every time I went to take a bite of my food to get my attention and ask me really rather rude questions. I was mouthing “HELP” to Colleen. Then Marie decided to actually help herself to my food. This woman I’ve never seen before in my life took one of my chips, swirled it around in the sauce on my chicken and ate it. Then she said “give us a kiss” and tried to kiss me on the mouth! I was turning away and trying to push her off me and so she ended up licking my face. Disgusting! All of this is happening so fast at this point – I’d only had maybe 2 bites of dinner. Colleen jumped up from her chair like she was gonna deck this woman, luckily she didn’t actually hit her, but she threatened to! The man came back and colleen told him he better get her out of the restaurant this instant, which he did. Coll then told the waiter we were leaving because of what had happened, and since we hadn’t even eaten our food, we weren’t paying and that they had better watch the sort of clientele they let in the place. She even left her number if the manager wanted to discuss it.

I must admit, I was shaken by the whole thing. Really, I know it will be a funny story one day but right now I kinda want to puke. Luckily I didn’t eat anything.  Ironically when we sat down I was worried that the tanned bling-y guy would be annoying cause he was talking really loud and being a show off to impress his date. There’s more details to this story I am rapidly struggling to forget like willie’s teeth going in and out of his gob and marie’s insistent queries about what lesbians do in bed! 

April 12, 2005 

Whohoo! Final showing of the house today – we will close soon. There has been a lot of interest and we are up to an insane amount of money for a wee terraced house in Derry! Of course I think it’s worth every penny – all the work I put into that place. The weird thing is, we know 3 of the people bidding on the house. It’s kinda weird, but we just have to leave it to the estate agents and lawyers and try not to be weird about money with friends.

Oh AND our house was in the Derry News… the amount of interest in the house actually was news! Here’s the picture….the headline reads "One house, one hour - a dozen buyers"!

April 9, 2005 

Check it out – Paul Arthur and the rest of the Magee crew solve the problems in Iraq. I learned from the best, eh?

March 14, 2005 

Cleaned all weekend again. Exhausted. Painted every surface in the house, put down new carpet on the stairs threw out about 20 bags of rubbish. But the place looks great. We’ve had the outside painted and the chimney fixed and it’s going on the market next week! Good ole Andrew the Aussie who sold us our house in the first place is our estate agent so fingers crossed he gets a good price for it – we stand to make a nice wee profit! Yippeeeeee.

Oh and I have the home addresses of the crack whores now from post they left in the house… colleen seriously wants to sue but I just want to be rid of them once and for all. Lesson learned and all that.

Also this weekend went to Sue’s leaving party while we were up in Derry. She’s back to London; how she stayed in Derry so long I do not know! Nutter. Anyway we had a nice dinner with Philip and Donna and then on to the old (people) watering hole at the Clarendon. Phillip took these pictures of Sue – she has been exposed as a secret smoker and will no doubt go straight to hell…

   

 March 8, 2005

This weekend I cleaned like never before in my life – and I hope I never have to again. We kicked the students out of our Derry house this month and we are putting it on the market as soon as we can remove all traces that they were ever there. They totally wrecked the place and I am so mad I could explode. My darling little house looks like it has been an abandoned building where crack-whores and their clients have been squatting. We found dirty plates and cups in upstairs closets, a hole in the wall, cigarette burns in the new plastic PVC window sills, stains from drinks that must have just been thrown at the walls and dripped down, rotting food everywhere and a layer of grime that I did not think it would be possible to accumulate in just 5 months. Plus the cheap bastards were too mean to pay for oil so they had tilted the tank up on its end to get the last bits out clogging the boiler and nearly breaking the line. The heat must not have been on in months – some of the coldest ever by the way – and the whole house is coming down in mould and damp where there was none before! If I see any of those bitches again I may kill them.  I can’t wait till they ask colleen for their deposit back cause she will probably drive to their new crack house and kill them.

 February 24, 2005 

Cause this – along with everyone spitting everywhere and dog fouling – is quite a problem in my neighbourhood!

February 18, 2005 

Dog Fouling. That is the term we are using now for the shit that is everywhere. I actually had a meeting today to discuss dog fouling…there is quite the problem here in the Village with dogs running stray and people not picking up after their pets so the city council and GVRT are launching a campaign against it. It’s a crime to let your dog go poopy and leave it there ya know! Colleen made me ask the official dog pooper scoopers what blind people with guide dogs are supposed to do if they can’t see the poo to pick it up? Turns out they are exempt! And that there are designated guide dog poo areas around town that the dogs are supposed to be trained to go in. Turned out to be a most enlightening meeting!

January 10, 2005

Happy New Year! Or as the postcard I got from Japan says "Congratulations on passing the Old Year intact. Good luck this year as well."

Ok, so i realize that December was very poorly documented and that i kinda left you hanging on the night of the 30th. Oh well! There were at least 12 people in our extremely tiny flat that night, the wine was flowing and the smoothie maker in business. Twas a swell night had by all even though Colm got me and Colleen good in a text message scam that went on all night long. He managed not to reveal himself as the phantom texter till well into the wee hours when we found ourselves at a bar down the street called Morrisons. I like that place cause they have proper cocktails even if it costs - actually it is not that bad for the amount of liquor they put in the drinks. And it is like 2 blocks away. Thumbs up.

Anyway, Colm (colleen's old work husband - see wedding pics - his, not hers) was texting my new phone (which has no old numbers in it thus the reason it worked) pretending to be some guy colleen had met in a bar. He was really creepy and weird! The whole night we went back and forth and me announcing each new message to the group like an eedjit! I must admit it was mighty funny. I even arranged to meet the phantom texter in the bar. He claimed to be there and was looking for me (posing as colleen). I had Mark call him back and tell him that it was his phone he had been texting all night. Mark of course knew all along it was Colm...I fell for it hook, line and sinker! So I need revenge ideas. Please help! Email me with ideas to get back at Colm!

So needless to say the next day i was a bit worse for wear. Colleen valiantly went to work and nicola and steve, the nut cases, got up pretty much after that. So hostess with the mostest, i hauled myself out of bed and made...tea. Breakfast was just not in the cards. Now to appreciate the story, you have to know that Nicola has a fancy little cupcake car, shiny and blue, convertible.  And she loves it like a child. So in order to stay over night at our inner-city dwelling, she parked in Coll's space, blocked in by the giant tank like Mercedes that we drive. Now thanks to our central location, and due to the high blood alcohol level in her system, Colleen walked to work that morning. So the merc had to be moved in order for Nic to get out. But the car wouldn't start. Flash forward to me in my pj's and flip flops and Steve with his not so trivial hangover trying to push start a car that easily weights 4000000 tones.  We were unsuccessful, but we did managed to free Nicola's car...

By the time night rolled around again and most of the world was heading out to celebrate, I was crashing big time on the sofa, glad for the first time to have no plans on New Year's Eve. And i've been sick ever since. Poor me with my coughing...

 

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