Ah, the bio.  Nothing to do with the topic of Asatru, but some of you might want to know a bit about me.  To keep a resemblence of privacy, all names in this story are fictional, although they are based on actual people, they know who they are

I was born in a small mining town in Northern Ontario, Canada.  At a very early age I was taught the basics of my faith.  I was read the Eddas from memory, heard all of the stories, learned the basic values which all Heathens try to follow.  I was taught all of this by a man who meant a great deal to me, it is only my wish that he would have known this before he passed on.  During these early years of my life (I emphasize the term EARLY) the Eddas were entertaining stories, and the rituals were accepted as a part of life.  Nothing special. You mean all people don't perform blots?  So, for many years, my teachings weren't really forgotten, but they were set aside in a part of my mind that I did not often visit...

Skip ahead about 12 years.  I'm older, a little wiser, and I decide to enter into a relationship (don't worry, it's not turning into that kind of story).  This is what I call the beginning of my "re-awakening."  For you see, this girlfriend of mine (who we'll call Lily) was a militant Wiccan.  About now you're saying: "Hey!  But Wiccans aren't Heathens!"  You're right.  During the course of this one year relationship, I decided to learn about her faith.  There were several times during my studies that I said to myself: "This just isn't right."  Never realizing why I was saying these things (as previously mentioned, my early teachings were put into the back of my mind).  Eventually, I got some serious misgivings about Lily, and after a few horrible incidents, our relationship ended (note: this does NOT mean that all Wiccans are horrible creatures).  And even after that ordeal was finished, more trouble occured, but I digress.

Skip ahead another 8 months.  I began to talk a lot with a very good friend of mine (who we'll call Morgan).  We talked mostly about our relationships, (present for her, past for me) healing each other as much as we could.  Eventually, when her relationship with Dumbo (as I'll call him here) became far too harmful, she ended it.  Now might be a good time to tell you that Morgan is a Christian (and damned proud of it as she'd tell you).  Yes, you can see where this story is going.  After several months, we became romantically involved.  It was because of her that I got the strength to re-explore my faith.  It is not that I had buried my teachings, or that I had shunned it away so I didn't have to look at it, it is simply that I hadn't thought of it much.  However, in seeing her, and how much of a secure and personal relationship she had with her faith, it made me look into myself and realize what I had been missing.  After searching in vain for a printer friendly version of the Eddas, I collected a few different translations, and made one of my own.  I began to read the Elder Edda again.  Before getting halfway through Havamal, I wept.  I realised that, if I had stayed with my faith all of these years, I could have avoided much of the heartache that had occured in my life up to that point.

Morgan and I were very happy together.  And although we were of different faiths, that only solidified our relationship.  Through her, I saw how I could have a more personal relationship with the Gods.  And through me, she became a better Christian through her subtle, well meant (and often comical) attempts to convert me.  Suffice it to say, theological dicussions between us were, and are to this day, always interesting to say the least.  However, in the end, problems within myself that I had never realized drove us apart.  In the process, I hurt her and lost an important part of my life.

Skipping ahead even more, we meet Tetra.  Tetra was, well, something entirely new.  She was intelligent, and shared many of my interests.  We talked, we laughed, and something clicked.  It clicked rather well, and rather quickly.  In her I found what I had been looking for all along.  I found someone who was both strong and weak.  Both happy and sombre.  Most of all, I found someone who was like me.  Quite simply, I had found my wife.

And my daughter as well.

I had become a parent.  I never thought it would happen to me, but I now see the world in a completely different light.  I see a place to explore, to show my little one.  Everything around me is now bathed in the glowing light of wonder.  I had never thought one person could get so much amusement from staring at a leaf.

And now, many moons and many kilometers later, I'm working for "the man."  I am a lackie of the Imperialistic American Empire.  I still sit alone at night and ponder the meaning of life, singing at the top of my lungs, and raising my glass of mead to the Gods.

Is it forever?  Do I know what the future holds for me?

No.  For if I did, there'd be no point in living...