PARENTAL FEEDBACK - KIDS RULE!
WHY KIDS LIE - FLY SO HIGH!
Day to day interaction with a lot many parents and educationists reflect the child pshycological concerns. Parenting & Teaching is an experience that provides opportunities for them to discover themselves too. It revives the memories of the childhood, the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs and all the experiences that shaped their future. Adults play a major role in promoting physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual well being of a child. Teaching your child the value of telling the truth takes time, teaching and patience. It is important to set the six ‘Universal Truths’ to Teach your children to avoid the embarrassing consequences as they struggle their way to face the challenges.
Think! Why to lie?
Children lie for a variety of reasons. They lie to keep their parents happy with them,
they lie so they won't get in trouble, they lie to cover embarrassment or inadequacy, or
they lie because they don't make the clear distinction between fact and fiction.
Don't play detective
Don't ask questions that set your child up to lie. When your child has chocolate on his
face and the chocolate is missing, don't ask, "Did you eat that candy bar that was
placed in the box?" Instead make a statement of fact; "I'm disappointed that you
ate the candy bar without asking. That will be your snack for today." If your child
says, "I didn't." don't play twenty questions, just state the facts, "The
chocolate is gone, and there's chocolate on your face. Why don't you go up to your room
for a while and come on back down when you want to talk about it."
Spend time on solutions
Focus on finding a solution instead of laying blame. "Regardless of how it happened,
the vase is broken. What are we going to do about it?"
Be honest and straightforward
If you're not sure if your child is lying make an honest statement, "That doesn't
sound like the truth to me."
Don't start the 'off the hook' mistake
Resist the urge to lecture if your child comes to you with the truth,. Thank the child for
telling you and then focus on finding a solution or imposing a necessary consequence,
without anger. Don't make the mistake of saying, "If you tell the truth, you won't be
punished." We all make mistakes, and owning up to them can be difficult, but we still
need to accept responsibility for our actions. As an adult, if you're driving your car and
hit someone's car in the parking lot, you are not "off the hook" if you own up
to your mistake, but you can be in serious trouble if you are caught in a "hit and
run." So avoid the trap of saying, "When you tell the truth, you'll be off the
hook," instead, think of it this way, "If you lie, you'll be in even bigger
trouble!"
Review your expectations
Kids sometimes lie because they feel they're not meeting your expectations, and they think
it's easier to lie than feel like a failure. Take a look at how you respond to your
child's mistakes or inadequacies, and make sure you leave room for imperfections.
Model truthfulness
When your child hears you telling those innocent "little white lies," you are
teaching your child something about honesty. What "little white lies" do I mean?
Having your child tell someone on the phone that you're not home so that you don't have to
talk. Shrinking your child's age so that you can get the cheaper rate at the movies, the
amusement park, or at a restaurant. You are teaching your child all the time, whether you
plan it or not.
Formed a pattern?
If your child develops a pattern of lying, or lies about important things, and is
persistent about continuing the lie even after the truth is discovered, it would be wise
for you to seek the advice of a professional. A counselor can help you find someone to
talk to.
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