nights longer, homes

happier, clothes shabbier,

past forgotten and future worth living"

KIDS – Nurturing Relationships
"Commandments of Parenting"

Ask a child of their dire needs and prompt would be the reply ‘A really fast computer, good games, fun and frolics’ Parents surrender to their needs with thoughts that the times have changed! They find a concerned issue that the children were "rude," "irresponsible," "disorganized," "wild," and spoiled. They fail to instill discipline inspite of their best upbringing. What’s wrong? Really speaking, the children need love. Love nurturing the relationships. They need the physical protection and discipline with appropriate experience for their individual development. They need the community support with the cultural experiences and faith. They need to build a better and protective future. These are the factors that the parents too need for their own development in today’s time! Do the kids get particular kind of teaching it needs to learn in school? Do they get relaxed time with parents, communicate with them or watch TV, video or games on their own? How far are the limits set for them? Are they socially sound? How good they eat or keep the faith? These and many questions raise an eyebrow and one finds that many times, parents lack in their upbringing unknowingly.

Parents need the feel to be the kids’ friends but the fact remains, a child needs a leader and not a buddy. Parents instill the faith in them and raise confident, responsible and well behaved kids with their practical understanding. It is here that a parent needs to set limits and make the rules. Breaking rules is the game of the kids with their innocence but it is the parent who need to be less a friend and more a mentor when it comes to raising disciplined and well behaved kids. Being firm is a quality to be developed when it comes to discipline. "I don’t like your behaviour" and ignore the kid when it needs this kind of treat but when he calms down, play or talk cool with the child.

Many Parents do all the chores of their kids making them rely on them. Instead of handling the easy jobs for them, encourage the kids to do their own jobs. Parents sometimes are permissive and then suddenly clamp down when they are under stress or tired and often slip into domination. This results into the child psychology with outrage and confusion that "Why do my Dad or Mom behave like this with me?" A consistent authority with explanation is better rather than negotiating or arguing with the kid. Let the kids say "I will finish my lessons or organize my room first and than you can take me to get the ice cream" The kids have multiple demands but all of them are not required to be fulfilled. It is always rather good to spend time with the kids. Love, care and understanding comes with closeness.

Many Parents may love their kids but keep busy with their own activities. Quality time has been oversold and kids always long to communicate with their loved ones. Another Commandment for better parenting is now to get carried away with ‘self esteem’. Genuine achievements need to be praised but if a child cannot read and understand a story book and yet get 90% marks in the English lesson examination shouldn’t be made to feel worthless but neither should be treated like a genius. In real sense, he needs to develop the reading habits instead of being a mugging champion to score the marks. This is where most of the kids feel they excel and parents feel proud and the major negligence is overlooked. It is the need of the hour for the parent as well as the child to be savvy in mastering the skills of language and computing with the technological advancement.

Conscientious parents offer kids a fairly organized schedule for the day, stringing together school, after school activities and a balanced network of family, friends and neighbours. Establishing and nurturing relationships with close family bonds is a part of upbringing better kids. Children observe and digest what they see and they learn. So, Watch out! Next time if a kid is wild with tantrums or has demands or expectations and disobedient, he sure needs ‘Vitamin N’ so as not to let him be a ‘spoilt brat’

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